I chose Christmas Surprise as the image for today’s post for several reasons. I’m reviewing a “Christmas” movie (so something with “Christmas” in the title was needed and several nasty surprises play parts in the movie so the image fits on both counts. Also--I just liked it enough to use it here--so there! Now on with the review…-
Around this time every year some major movie studio puts out a feel good, family movie for the season. Four Christmases ain’t it for this year: the movie tries but falls flat. Worse, it lacks subversive charm (like Bad Santa) so you can’t even feel good about feeling bad. Probably the movie’s biggest sin is that it leaves patrons saying “well that’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.” It’s not a BAD movie--really it isn’t--but honestly, Four Christmases is just so un-good!
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Brad (Vince Vaughn in full self-parody mode) and Kate (Reese Witherspoon cute as always but with a full Charmectomy) are two happy San Francisco singles who have been together for three years. Every Christmas season they gleefully avoid their families and fly off to a wonderful, exotic vacation but we know there’s going to be trouble (even if we haven’t seen the previews) even before they get to the airport. (Kate is complaining “I think we’ve done this vacation before.”) When their flight is cancelled (and Brad and Kate get splashed all over the news) they end up having to visit all four parents (divorced and involved with other people) in one day.
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First up is Brad’s white-trash Dad Howard (Robert Duvall, phoning in his grumpy-bear performance) and low-rent “Ultimate Fighting” brothers Denver and Dallas (Jon Favreau, looking like a steroid stallion and country music star Tim McGraw who barely makes an impression). This scene has a few funny bits but it’s mostly cringe-inducing (and not in a good way.) Next up they visit Kate’s Mom Marilyn (Mary Steenburgen) who has found a new life with rock-and-roll preacher Pastor Phil (Dwight Yoakum--NOT ageing well) and Kate’s “perefect” older sister Courtney (Kristen Chenowith in a spot-on performance). More unfunny business happens at home and later at Church when Brad and Kate are drafted into playing Mary and Joseph for the Christmas Service (where we get to see what a self-centered jerk Brad really is). Then we’re off to see Brad’s Mom hippie-chick Mom Paula (Sissy Spacek, completely wasted here). She’s shacking up with Brad’s former best friend Darryl. Finally things come completely apart just as the hapless pair arrive at Kate’s Dad Creighton’s place--before everything gets tied up in a pretty package by movie’s end. John Voight does a nice job as the guy who Explains It All.
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There are some good jokes along the way (but a lot of the movie just makes you want to cringe (and, as I said earlier, NOT in a good way.) Brad’s a jerk, as hypersensitive and controlling as he is self-centered and Kate is a cold fish who is just as manipulative and controlling as Brad in her own way. Nobody except the two Dad’s are remotely self-aware or are particularly likeable. The language is pretty rough and there is some violence and gross humor but no nudity. We only paid $6.50 for our tickets which is why I’m probably giving it a “C” instead of a “D-”. There’s nothing really WRONG with the movie--but there’s not a lot right with it either.
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FINAL GRADE: C-
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