The Baron Comments on Oxford University's "Top Ten Most Annoying Phrases"

How do you pick a fractal image for a post about the top ten most annoying phrases in current use? Frankly, there’s no easy fit for this one so I ended up picking something pretty that has absolutely NO relation to the topic. So--enjoy today’s post and the fractal Silver And Gold Rings. (I picked it because the circles look like zeroes--and the image has zero relationship to the topic.)
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It seems Researchers at the University of Oxford (England, in case you don’t happen to know) have a lot of extra time on their hands: they recently released a list of the top to “most annoying” phrases in the English language. How they came to decide which phrases make the list and where they ranked is beyond me--but I thought the list was interesting enough to warrant comment--considering how many of these phrases I use. So--in ascending order here is the Oxford list and my commentary.
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10) IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE: maybe this one is a little overused (the phrase creeps into my vocabulary often enough) but it’s so darn useful! How better can you say to someone that a concept is simplicity itself and they ought to be able to grasp it without any problem? Come on people! It’s not rocket science!
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09) 24-7: this one isn’t one of my most-overused (but it has crept into my personal dialog more than once). Dunno why they included it because I don’t even know a lot of people who use it on a regular basis. And frankly, 24-7 is handy shorthand for “all day-every day.”
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08) SHOULDN’T OF: OK, this is just plain bad grammar--but I have to confess that I use this one now and again (usually when I’m in a rush.) The correct form is shouldn’t have. (Hmm--maybe I shouldn’t of mentioned that in my blog . . .) This is just a product of the laziness of English speakers. Say “shouldn’t have” in normal conversation it almost becomes shouldn’t HAVE. You Oxford scholars should maybe be a bit more mellow--since the lazy habit started in England.
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07) IT’S A NIGHTMARE: Has this been over-used to the point it would even make it on a list? I didn’t know! It’s a nightmare!
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06) ABSOULTELY!: I’m seriously guilty of over-using this one in conversation and even in my writing--but, come on people--there really isn’t a better way to let someone know you agree with them. Absolutely!
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05) WITH ALL DUE RESPECT: this one might very well top the list of my “most annoying” phrases (at least to my on line friends.) Sadly in my case “with all due respect” is usually followed by something like “you’re an idiot!” But, with all due respect--if you need to be told--you NEED to be told!
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04) AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME: I blame Whitney Houston for this one after she popularized that damn song in the 80s. (I also blame her for global warmiong and the Iran-Contra scandal but that's probably irrelevant.) Thank God it’s not on my personal list--at least not at this moment in time! What’s wrong with saying “right now?”
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03) I PERSONALLY: personally, I don’t see anything wrong with this--although I suppose it may be a bit redundant. Maybe those Oxford blokes just object to sloppy speech…
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02) FAIRLY UNIQUE: this phrase has NEVER and WILL NEVER pass my lips! It’s either unique (like no other) or it isn’t! By definition there can’t be a middle ground! This one needs to be banned! Banned I tell you! Now!
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And Number One… (drum roll please!)
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01) AT THE END OF THE DAY: I don’t know where this phrase came from or why it has become so popular. I guess it’s the current version of “what it boils down to” or “when all is said at done”. Frankly, there’s no convenient way to express the concept. Ah well, at the end of the day it’s just a bunch of eggheads’ opinions.
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Frankly, I’d replace a few of these things with words and phrases that I find personally annoying. Here’s my list…
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01) MISPRONOUNCING THE WORDS “NUCLEAR” AND “REALTOR”: come on people! It’s “new-KLEE-ur” NOT “new-QUE-Ler” and "REAL-tore" NOT "ree-LET-tore." Learn to pronounce the words correctly or don’t use them!!!
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02) USING INSTANT MESSAGE ABBRIEVIATIONS IN “REAL” SPEECH: I’m guilty of this one and it truly annoys me. Nobody in general, and especially not white men in their 50s should use phrases like “IMHO” or “OBTW” Pretty young ladies like Victoria Rosser(who sings in my Church choir) look at you like you’ve lost your mind.
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03) OH-MY-GAWD: this one just needs to die! (Even though I do use it myself--way more than I should).
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04) “NO WAY” FOLLOWED BY “WAY” OR “YES WAY”: this was over with Wayne’s World and yet it won’t leave the popular lexicon.
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05) HEL-LO!: it’s rude--and, worse, it’s OVER! Time to find a new way to let that lemon on your left that s/he is an idiot!
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06 WHATEVER! or even worse WHAT-EV!: you’ve gotta admire the “diss” in this word in the phrase but it so lacks elegance!
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And while we’re on the subject… 07: “DISS”: not only the WORD but the whole CONCEPT needs to go! For example “she totally “dissed” (disrespected) me! What it boils down to is that this individual did something you don’t like and therefore you have a right to retaliate in whatever childish, mean-spirited or just plain stupid manner the speaker sees fit! Time for that whole line to be over and done!
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While I’m on the subject I’m sure there are a few phrases my friends and family wish I would drop. Here are my candidates…
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01) ..AND I MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST, MOST CONSTRUCTIVE WAY!: which is always said right after I make some particularly cutting comment like “you voted FOR Proposition 8? Have you lost your mind??? (And I mean that in the nicest, most constructive way!)
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02) OH PUH-LEASE!: old(er) white guys just shouldn’t be saying that.
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03) LET’S GET ON WITH IT--SHALL WE?: this is my pet phrase for “get to the point” or “time to move along to the next point.” I have no patience with folks who don’t get it--and it really annoys people. Particularly the ones who don‘t get it…
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04) THAT’S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY: this phrase got started in the 1970s and, like disco, has never left my lexicon! Really it’s such a non-sequitur. Can one have a partial ‘nother? And if it was another story--what was the first one? This is a phrase that just--needs--to--go.
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05) TOTALLY: it was cool (for a minute) in the 1980s--but like “Mall Hair” and “parachute pants” it needs to go into the annals of “fashion don’ts” like the rest of the decade.
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So that’s my list. How many of these grammatical sins are you guilty of?
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Think about it.