This "Clash" Hardly Titanic

A review about a mythology-themed movie calls for a mythology-themed fractal.  I chose Zeus as today's image because it represents one of the major characters.  That being said, on with the review of Clash Of The Titans.
-
Clash Of The Titans has an interesting history: I think it was 1981 when Director Ray Harryhousen (best known for his stop-motion animated movies in the 1950s-60s) made the first version.  It had a lot of animated clay models and some early computer animation.  Still, it was decidedly "retro" although it did have a certain cheesey charm.  For reasons unknown, someone has decided to remake the movie with a 21st-Century sensibility.  Big mistake in oh so many ways...
-
I had so many problems with the new version of Clash Of The Titans I don't know where to begin.  I guess I could start by complaining how the writers had no respect for the source-material.  (Take a bumch of Greek Myths and place them in a blender without the top then use whatever happens to fly out and stick to the wall.)  The resulting script was a muddy mess filled with stupidness and incomprehensibility at every turn in both characters and situations.  I can't count the number of major Characters in the movie whose names I never learned--much less understood their back-stories.  Add to that a lead performance by Sam Worthngton (Avatar) that could politely described as "wooden."  (Did he ever change expression in the entire movie?  Robyn says "yes" but I don't recall seeing any)  Liam Neeson (in "King Arthur" armor) as Zeus is probably kicking himself for being involved with this travesty.  At least Ralph Finnes has the good luck to be virtually unrecognizable in the role of Hades.  I'd pretty much forgotten the rest of the characters even as I was leaving the theater.
-
At least there was some good battle scenes and special effects.  Their version of the winged stallion Pegasus was probably the best I'd ever seen and the battles with Medusa and the Kraken (which, BTW is a creature of Norse Mythology) looked great.  There was also some pretty nice set design and decoration (although virtually all the movie was rocks and desert with hardly any green anywhere.  The battle scenes and FX were all that prevented this Clash Of The Titans from being a complete groaner. 
-
Robyn and I elected to see the movies in 2D as it was shot.  (The 3D FX were added later)  Would it have made it a better movie?  I doubt it: there is only so much complete crap that can be overcome by good visual effects.  The theater was crowded but I didn't hear a lot of applause or positive commentary as we were walking out so I'll be interested in seeing how well "Clash" does in its second week at the Box Office.  (I'm betting it will take a HUGE did.)  Don't bother rushing to see the movie: it will be out on video soon enough.
-
FINAL GRADE: C- (and that's being charitable)

2010 Acadeny A-"Bores"

So the 2010 Academy Awards has come and gone and since I know y'all are breathlessly waiting for my taken on the affair I won't disappoint.  Today's fractal "cookie" is called Gilded (in honor of "Oscar" of course.)  So--on with the review!
-
Ho-hum--another award season has come and gone with a snoozefest of truly epic proportions.  This show was about as deadly dull as they come (so dull in fact we couldn't manage to watch the entire telecast).  From the duel hosts, (Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin) who simply weren't that funny to lame comedy bits (has Ben Stiller EVER been funny at the Oscars?) to a couple of production numbers shoehorned in that were just odd.  (I LOVED Neli Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards but his opening number was nowhere near Hugh Jackman's tour de force performance from  last year's telecast and LXD should have stood for "Listless and Excedeingly Dull" instead of Legion of Exgtraordinary Daners.  Worse, there weren't any surprises in the awards or any contraversial speeches to complain about: in fact, the whole telecast seemed scrubbed of anything remotely scandalous or salacious.  (Come on guys--not ONE Tiger Woods joke?)  At least there were a lot of fashion to bag on.  SO--on with the bagging!
-
First the good...
-
Sandra Bullock collected Oscar golden is beaded silver and, as always, looked spectacular in beaded silver.  Vera Farmiga looked as lovely as a long-stemmed red rose in her red, petaled gown.  Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep looked elegant and age-appropriate (and they so often don't do very well at these kind of events).  Anna Kendrick represented for the sweet young things in rose-petal pink.  Gabouray Sudabay represnted for the "big girls" proving that enough money and time ANYBODY can rock the Red Carpet.  Queen Latifa also looked "fabu" in a one-shouldered lilac satin gown with crystal-beaded detail.
-
The "almst had its" included...
-
Sigourney Weaver almost rocked the Red Carpet in this one-shouldered red-dress with a jeweled pin at the shoulder but then she had that indifferent hairstyle and she put this black ribbon detail that just cut her off weirdly.  Maybe next time Siggy-baby...  Mo'Nique looked elegant in blue but she felt the need to honor Hattie McDaniels by wearing a gardenia in her hair and it just ruined the whole effect.  (I understand she feels a special connection to this woman but COME ON!  It's time to move on...)  Miley Cytrus and Amanda Seyfried looked elegant in old-Hollywood glamour and looked great--for ladies in their forties... 
-
And now the bad...
-
Usually-stunning Sarah Jessica Parker looked nothing short of ridiculous in a yellow satin sack with this bizarre floral detail at the neck and back.  And we can't leave SJP without commenting on the "hair tumor" that was larger than her entire head.  Some fashonistas have said this was a "statement piece": if so that statement was " help!  I'm being swallowed by couture!"  She (and we) will be having nightmares for years to come.
-
Dianne Kruger couldn't decide which of three dresses to wear to the Academy Awards so she stitched them together and became the Frankenstein's Monster of Oscar fashion.
-
Jennifer Lopez wrapped herself in acres of fabric with this huge weird hip detail  that she couldn't move in.  So much for the "entrance" dress...
-
Demi Moore wore or orange dress that just matched the color of her "mystic tan."  Then there were the acres and acres of ruffles that added way too much volume in the lower parts.
-
There were only two words for the frothy confection that started out lavender and ended up black that Zoe Saldana chose: MUPPET DRESS!  She said she chose the dress because it "mirrored" her Avatar journey.  Maybe she shoudl have looked in a mirror before she left the house...  
-
Maggie Gyllenhall chose a hand-painted blue satin number that ended up looking like something she could have picked up at Hilo Hattie's.  It might have worked at the runway show in Paris but it didn't work on the Red Carpet.
-
No "Oscar" review would be complete without a mention of Charlize Theron and her lavender satin "cinaboobs".  A rare misstep for the usually spectacular blonde.
-
This year's Red Carpet didn't have a Mickey Roarke moment for the men: most guys were blandly handsome (although it's a sad day when Zac Efron was the prettiest woman on the Red Carpet).  Still, you have to mention Robert Downey Jr. in sneakers and sloppy tux as well as Woody Harrelson who was just generally underdressed.  (But, then again,) he usually is.
-
Leaving fashion, I need to take a moment to complain to the Academy about a couple of things: you guys included Michael Jackson who started in exactly ONE MOVIE in the list of those who passed (not to mention a bunch of people few but Hollywood insiders ever heard of) but left out Farrah Fawcett and Bea Arthur.  Worse, Star Trek was virtually snubbed (except for a couple of minor awards: yeah, it's a TV Reboot but so what?  It was still a darn good movie (and way better than District Nine that got nominated for Best Picture!)  What's up with that???
-
So now the Awards season has come to a close.  See you again next year to dish on the good, bad and indifferent.
-
'nuff said.

Alice: the Next Generation

In The Cards seems like an appropriate fractal image for my review of Alice In Wonderland not only for the "card" imagery but because of he red and white color scheme.  So--on with the review.
-
If ever there was a Director "destined" to work on a new version of Alice In Wonderland I suppose it would be Tim Burton.  After all, he helmed projects like the screen adaptation of Sweeney Todd, as well as Edward Sciscrhands, not to mention quirky classic like Ed and Sleepy Hollow (all of which starred Johnny Depp--who also happens to have a featured role in this movie.)  I found it a bit surprising that this new "Alice" would come from the Disney Studios (who released the psychoedlic cartoon version some forty-odd years ago).  This is clearly an "Alice" for the next generation: I just wish it had been better.
-
Viewers should know this movie isn't a remake of Alice In Wonderland--it's a sequel.  (I've seen a number of reviews that call the movie a remake and frankly it bugs me.)  Those expecting unrelenting cuteness won't find it in this Alice--nor will they find the psychedlia of the Disney cartoon.  This "Underland" is a dark and quirky place that has a certain murky beauty and quirkiness to spare.   Visually the movie is quite striking although in all honesty I don't think the 3DFX added anythink (unlike Avatar where they really took the movie to another level).  The Red Queens "cards" were the best depiction I'd ever seen but the rest of the visualizations didn't rise above the pedestrian.
-
As for the story--this movie is nothing special: Alice is a product of repressive Victorian England and longing to break free of all the expecations placed on a girl of her station.  Once she arrives in "Underland" Alice finds the locals have expectations of their own.  Along the way there is villany aplenty and plenty of characters with motives and behavior as chaotic as you'd expect.  How does Alice dea?  Will she save Underland and gain her own sense of identity?  You'll have to see the movie to find out.  Suffice it to say you probably already know the answer.
-
Mia Wasikowska (love that name!) is pretty as a picture as Alice and does well-enough with what she's given.   Johnny Depp (as the Mad Hatter) and Helena Bonham Carter (as the Red Queen) give a "been there, done that" performances in their roles.  Ann Hathaway didn't leave much of an impression as the White Queen but almost any pretty actress could have filled the role.  Stephen Fry and Michael Sheen leave surisingly little presence as the Cheshire Cat and the White Rabbit.  Still, you can't blame them since they can only work with what the script gives them.  Alan Rickman channels Severus Snape as the Caterpillar: I found that a bit distracted since I kept visualizing the "Harry Potter" villain.  (Is he the "go to" guy for Officious Englishmen?)
-
I wanted to love this movie: really I did.  Alice In Wonderland has been a favorite since childhood,  I appreciate Tim Burton and Johnny Depp and their quirkiness.  I was hoping for a lot from this movie and it simply--didn't--deliver.  This version of Alice In Wonderland suffers from the unpardonable sin of being ORDINARY.  Was it a good movie?  Yes.  Was it $12 for a matinee good (In Riverside California)?  Not hardly.  Still, I suspect I'm in the minority: this movie made over 116 MILLION DOLLARS domestically in its opening weekend (shattering all kinds of Box Office rexords.)  Showings sold out all over and there were tons of people waiting in the line (in the rain no less) to get in.  Most people in the theater really seemed to enjoy the show so maybe you'll have to go and decide for yourself.
-
FINAL GRADE: C+

Maybe The "Lightning Thief" Should Have Stolen A Little Originality Too...

A review of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief really should feature an image with something related to lightning--or maybe something to dow tih Olympus.  For reasons not well known to me I chose the former path and ended up selecting Lightning Spiral as today's visual "cookie." 
-
Pery Jackson and the Olympians is a wildly successful series of children's books that owes a great deal to J.K. Rowling.   One can't help but see the similary between Percy and Harry Potter--at least in the movies.  (I haven't read the series so I can't tell you if the same parallels exist in the books but I suspect they do: still, not having read the books it wouldn't be fair to comment further so I'll keep my comments to what I saw on screen.)  Like Harry Potter before him Percy Jackson doesn't fit in (although Percy at least has ONE living parent.)    Percy learns that he is "special" (in this case the son of Poseidon) and is thrust into danger because someone has stolen Zeus' lightning bolt: if said bolt is not returned by the Summer Solstice there will be war among the Gods and mankind will suffer for it.  What follows is a textbook "quest" and final reconciliation.
-
Percy Jackson commits three unforgiveable crimes: zero originality, a complete lack of surprise and some stunning lapses in logic.  True, there are only so many plots a writer can use but the script pretty well telegraphs everything.  You can see the slightest twist coming from a mile away.  You even do this with the jokes: you know there's going to be a "horse's ass" joke coming as soon as one of the characters is revealed to be a Centaur.  Nowhere in the movie does anything take a turn that anyone with half a brain wouldn't expect.  (The identity of the Thief isn't revealed but you can't help but know who it is almost as soon as he shows up on screen.: worse, his reasons for stealing the lightning are the tritest of trite.)  Worse the lapses in internal logic nearly sink the story for anyone over the age of eight.  (Who knows?  Maybe the books do a better job of answering my many, many questions but, alas, I can only report what I saw on screen.)
-
The Actors aren't given much to work with (reference the previous paragraph) but they give it their all and help rescue the movie from being complete drek.  Every British Character Actor living in the United States gets tapped for a part as well as hotties Uma Therman (in an all-too-brief scene as Medusa) and Rosario Dawson (playing Persoephone as a hottie who ends ups helping our hero.)  The three young leads are earnest and do as good a job as the material will allow.  We've seen the special effects before but they are adequate to the test and I did rather like the way the worked the mythological elements inot the "real" world.
-
As a "popcorn movie" Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief worke well enough: the kids will enjoy the action and there is enough material to entertain adults.  The violence is cartoonish and the blood is kept to a minimum so it should be safe for the whole family (except for the most delicate of souls).  Your world won't be diminished if you miss this movie but it's OK if you have nothing better to do.
-
FINAL GRADE: C  

Top Ten Who Need To "Shut Up And Step Off" In 2010

A "random" post demands a "random" image--so I pretty much chose Door Knocker at random.   I suppose you could make a case for it being an invitation for these people to "take the door" but that connection is tenuous at best That being said--on with today's rant!
-
I hate January.  It is the dumping ground for bad movies, TV and always features the return of The Bachelor.  There simply isn't anything GOOD to comment on so I have to find something--anything to fill up my blog.  That's when I hit on the "top 10" list of folks in the news I'd like to see just go away.  No doubt many of you will disagree with my list so please feel free to write one in your own blog.  (If you don't have a blog feel free to creat one--it's easy.)  Now--here's the list for 2010
-
10: CARRIE PREJEAN
2009 saw the fall and rise and fall again of Miss California.  She played the victim after her stance against same-sex marriage allegedly cost her the Miss USA crown and got a certain fame with conservative Christian community.  Too bad she lied about the semi-nude pictures and multiple sex tapes.  She said God "told" her to speak out against gay marriage: too bad S/he didn't see fit to tell the dear girl to keep her clothes on.  Carrie Prejean has dropped out of sight (for the time being) and maybe she'll stay gone.  Lets hope so for all our sakes...
-
09; PEREZ HILTON
Perez Hilton lives to create drama.  If this self-styled "celebrity blogger" had an ounce of integrity he'd keep himself OUT of the story.  He does more damage to the cause of celebrity journalism AND gay rights than he can ever benefit.  Sooner or later Perez will offend the wrong person and end up seriously hurt--or worse.  Leave while you can guy.
-
08: ANYONE CONNECTED WITH THE "LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW" WARS
It's been a week and I'm already bored.  NBC shot itself in the foot by giving Conan O'Brien The Tonight Show and create a daily 10:00 PM talker for Jay Leno.  Neither show delivered the ratings and the local affiliates started screaming and the network made a bad situation worse by trying to juggle the situation--making a bad situation worse.  With so much more serious stuff to talk about--why is the media devloting so much time to the story?  Leno and O'Brien are going to get paid no matter what and both these guys are going to be fine.  It's time everyone connected to this mess step off so we can blame the real problem--Jeff Zucker.
-
07: ANYONE CONNECTED WITH THE TIGER WOODS SCANDAL
OK, the scandal was fun for a while.  There's a certain sens of schadenfreude watching someone who oh-so-carefully built a squeaky-clean image implode.  Still, after a while the whole thing starts being sad and no fun at all.  Take away the guy's endorsements and leave he, his family and his "hoochie" collection alone!
-
06: ANYONE EVEN TANGENTIALLY CONNECTED TO MICHAEL JACKSON
He's dead.  Deal with it.  True, he made some great music "back in the day" but his days of being anything other than a Circus Sideshow are long past.  I just saw a segment of the death of a couple of "Neverland Ranch Giraffes" and whether or not they had been "murdered."  Is there REALLY that litle news left that we need to hear about this?  It's time to move on to another scandal.
-
05: PAT ROBERTSON
Robertson has a singular gift for opening his mouth and inserting his foot up to the knee.  His comments on the Haiti earthquake were insensitive and not-particularly Christian.  His "apology" half-assed at best: basically he tried to explain what he said away without taking any responsibility for the comment.  Why is this nut job still getting press?
-
04 TV JOURNALISTS
Cable television may be the death of news: forget the commentators (for now at least)--lets just talk about the endless coverage of news events.  24-7 broadcasting has created endless time to fill with nothing--especially during breaking news events.  Most news events have a few minutes worth of facts that need to be delivered then it is time to move along.  Still, the TV "Talking Heads" and the producers behind them feel the need to keep them on the air--which means a lot of needless chatter.  And then we have the endless follow-up where anyone even remotely connected to the story gets their three minutes in the spotlight.  (Re: the Michael Jackson commentary earlier in this post.)  Last but not least there's the concerted effort to murder the English language: I love my girl Micaela Pererra of the KTLA Morning News--but is she says "efforting" one more time I may have a meltdown. 
-
03: GLENN BECK
I've been over Glenn Beck since he went off on Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg in which he blamed them for something that wasn't their fault.  When the ladies confronted him on The View with the facts he refused to apologize or back down saying "I'm a Commentator not a Jornalist" (as if somehow that absolved him from honesty and common decency).  Personally, I don't think he believes half of what he says--but he's playing to his audience.  That's just dangerous.
-
02: SARAH PALIN
Come on--you had to know this was coming: you knew I'd have to get my digs into my "favorite" Republican...  Sarah Palin is so good at being outraged: she can sieze on the smallest misspoken word or take an idea out of context and run with it.  Sadly, Alaska's former Governor also has a VERY THIN skin.  Yes, the joke David Letterman made at the expens of her daughter Bristol was in poor taste (and not all that funny) but she couldn't let it go.  She also demanded the firing of White House Chief of Staff Rom Emmanuel after he called certain Democrats "retards" (in a closed-door meeting).  Then she went after the writers of Family Guy when they created a painfully unfunny skit poking fun at her.  Too bad she gave Rush Limbaugh a pass when he used the same word--because he was being "satyrical."  The lady clearly has a problem with the truth.  (Remember her cross-country "bus tour" in which she and her family took private jets between cities--only to board the bus for a photo op when she arrived?)  Time to step off sweetheart.  Too bad thanks to her new position with Fox New that it won't be happening any time soon...
-
And the Number One Group who should shut up and step off in 2010 is...
-
01: IDIOT BLOGGERS
The worst thing about the "blogosphere" is that it gives idiots a platform to spill their idiocy to a much wider audience than ever before.  They spend endless hours speculating on virtually everything and pouncing on the most minute detail and blowing it all out of proportion.  Case in point--the hubub that came up when certain Right Wingers decided that Avatar was anti-American and that James Cameron was somehow against our troops.  I saw the movie and I can see where one might take away that the Director was anti-Corporate and pro-Environment but nowhere did I come up with an anti-American or Military slant.  This is proof that anyone who looks for dirt will find it--even in content with the purest of intent.  Time for bloggers to take a step back and thing long and hard  and THINK BEFORE THEY TYPE!!!  Oh wait--that would include me--wouldn't it?
-
'nuff said.

* * * * * * * * * * *

One additonal brief note: my blog celebrated its third birthday on February 14.  Thanks to all my loyal readers and those who took the time to drop comments.  Take care and be well one and all. 

On The Loss Of An (Almost) Friend

Matters philosophical seem to require a "Stained Glass" fractal.  I chose Stained Glass 66 for this post because the two colors and the many layers mirror the way I feel right now.
-
I got some strange, somewhat sad news yesterday.  An "Internet Friend" told me that another of our "Internet Friends" had passed away.  I have to confess the news made me feel a bit peculiar and got me thinking about the strange nature of Internet frendships. 
-
I'd had many a discussion on Science Fiction, TV, (classic and current) Comic Books and Role Playing Games and always found him to be interesting (and more importantly) low drama.  When I was having my ups and downs this summer he was always supportive in a quiet, inobtrusive way--and I truly appreciated that.  But I realized there was quite a lot I DIDN'T know about my Internet Friend--other than his name and home town.  What was his marital status?  (I'm guessing single since he never mentioned anyone--not that it was any of my business.)  What kind of family did he have?  (Did he have much a relationship with them?)  I suddenly realized I didn't even know what the guy did for a living...  I never saw a picture, never heard his voice so I'd never have recognized him if we passed on the street and that seems strange to me.
-
Right now I feel a bit strange: I feel like I should be feeling something more than a vague sense of loss--but I knew him so little I couldn't make much of an emotional connection.  I feel sorry for his family and friends at his loss but it's hard to muster up much else in the way of emotion.  I guess the Internet makes for strange relationships indeed: looking back I don't know if I can honestly call him a Friend but he was certainly something more than an Accquaintance.  We had some good times in the few years I knew him (and the few bad times didn't last long): that's a good thing in ANY type of Friend.  So--rest well my Internet Friend: I hope wherever you are is peaceful, happy and bright.

Taking A Step Forward While Taking A Step Back

Today's post is a review of Disney's The Princess And The Frog.  I chose the fractal AraMagic 3 because it's green and fancy.  If the connection between the image and movie isn't obvious it should be by the end of the review.
-
Disney takes a step forward even as it takes a step back with it's latest feature The Princess And The Frog.  The step forward is featuring the first black "Princess."  The step back is returning to what made the company famous--hand drawn animation with little or no computer assistance.  What came from this union is an entirely mixed bag.
-
The story centers around Tiana, (voice of Anika Noni Rose) a hard-working young lady who dreams of owning and running her own restaurant in early 20th Century New Orleans.  Her best friend Charolotte (Jennifer Cody) is a spoiled, rich white girl who wants to marry a Prince--and gets her chance with the arrival of Prince Naveen (voiced by Bruno Campos).  Naveen is a wastrel who has been cut off by his parents runs afould of black (in more ways than one) magician Dr. Facilier (Keith David) who conspires to turn the Prince into a frog.  A case of mistaken identity causes Tiana to be turned into a frog which sets the pair on a long road to happily-ever-after.  Tiana learns to open up to love, Naveen learns responsibility and the friendly animals get their rewards in the end--as it should be ina Disney cartoon.
-
The voice cast is good to excelent (check out the many celebrity cameos) and they all do a find job with what htey are given.  The songs by Randy Newman, alas, are pretty forgetable: you won't see any of them picking up awards at Oscar time.  The animation style is nicely rendered (if a bit stylized for my taste) but it manages to nicely convey the feel  Girls are more likely to go for the story than their brothers but there is enough here to keep the adults in the audience happy.  (There are a couple of "throw away" jokes sure to go over the heads of the kiddies--and that's a good thing.)  There are a few mildly scary moments that might be too much for younger children with delicate sensibilities but there's something here for the rest of the family.
-
Is The Princess And The Frog one of the great animated movies?  No--but it's pretty darn good.  There is action a-plenty, a love story and a nice moral all wrapped up in a neat, pretty little package.  I hope it does well enough at the Box Office to encourage Disney to do more "old school" animation projects.  (CGI is great but there's a certain magic that only hand-drawn animation can bring.)
-
FINAL GRADE: A