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Ho-hum--another award season has come and gone with a snoozefest of truly epic proportions. This show was about as deadly dull as they come (so dull in fact we couldn't manage to watch the entire telecast). From the duel hosts, (Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin) who simply weren't that funny to lame comedy bits (has Ben Stiller EVER been funny at the Oscars?) to a couple of production numbers shoehorned in that were just odd. (I LOVED Neli Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards but his opening number was nowhere near Hugh Jackman's tour de force performance from last year's telecast and LXD should have stood for "Listless and Excedeingly Dull" instead of Legion of Exgtraordinary Daners. Worse, there weren't any surprises in the awards or any contraversial speeches to complain about: in fact, the whole telecast seemed scrubbed of anything remotely scandalous or salacious. (Come on guys--not ONE Tiger Woods joke?) At least there were a lot of fashion to bag on. SO--on with the bagging!
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First the good...
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Sandra Bullock collected Oscar golden is beaded silver and, as always, looked spectacular in beaded silver. Vera Farmiga looked as lovely as a long-stemmed red rose in her red, petaled gown. Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep looked elegant and age-appropriate (and they so often don't do very well at these kind of events). Anna Kendrick represented for the sweet young things in rose-petal pink. Gabouray Sudabay represnted for the "big girls" proving that enough money and time ANYBODY can rock the Red Carpet. Queen Latifa also looked "fabu" in a one-shouldered lilac satin gown with crystal-beaded detail.
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The "almst had its" included...
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Sigourney Weaver almost rocked the Red Carpet in this one-shouldered red-dress with a jeweled pin at the shoulder but then she had that indifferent hairstyle and she put this black ribbon detail that just cut her off weirdly. Maybe next time Siggy-baby... Mo'Nique looked elegant in blue but she felt the need to honor Hattie McDaniels by wearing a gardenia in her hair and it just ruined the whole effect. (I understand she feels a special connection to this woman but COME ON! It's time to move on...) Miley Cytrus and Amanda Seyfried looked elegant in old-Hollywood glamour and looked great--for ladies in their forties...
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And now the bad...
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Usually-stunning Sarah Jessica Parker looked nothing short of ridiculous in a yellow satin sack with this bizarre floral detail at the neck and back. And we can't leave SJP without commenting on the "hair tumor" that was larger than her entire head. Some fashonistas have said this was a "statement piece": if so that statement was " help! I'm being swallowed by couture!" She (and we) will be having nightmares for years to come.
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Dianne Kruger couldn't decide which of three dresses to wear to the Academy Awards so she stitched them together and became the Frankenstein's Monster of Oscar fashion.
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Jennifer Lopez wrapped herself in acres of fabric with this huge weird hip detail that she couldn't move in. So much for the "entrance" dress...
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Demi Moore wore or orange dress that just matched the color of her "mystic tan." Then there were the acres and acres of ruffles that added way too much volume in the lower parts.
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There were only two words for the frothy confection that started out lavender and ended up black that Zoe Saldana chose: MUPPET DRESS! She said she chose the dress because it "mirrored" her Avatar journey. Maybe she shoudl have looked in a mirror before she left the house...
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Maggie Gyllenhall chose a hand-painted blue satin number that ended up looking like something she could have picked up at Hilo Hattie's. It might have worked at the runway show in Paris but it didn't work on the Red Carpet.
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No "Oscar" review would be complete without a mention of Charlize Theron and her lavender satin "cinaboobs". A rare misstep for the usually spectacular blonde.
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This year's Red Carpet didn't have a Mickey Roarke moment for the men: most guys were blandly handsome (although it's a sad day when Zac Efron was the prettiest woman on the Red Carpet). Still, you have to mention Robert Downey Jr. in sneakers and sloppy tux as well as Woody Harrelson who was just generally underdressed. (But, then again,) he usually is.
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Leaving fashion, I need to take a moment to complain to the Academy about a couple of things: you guys included Michael Jackson who started in exactly ONE MOVIE in the list of those who passed (not to mention a bunch of people few but Hollywood insiders ever heard of) but left out Farrah Fawcett and Bea Arthur. Worse, Star Trek was virtually snubbed (except for a couple of minor awards: yeah, it's a TV Reboot but so what? It was still a darn good movie (and way better than District Nine that got nominated for Best Picture!) What's up with that???
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So now the Awards season has come to a close. See you again next year to dish on the good, bad and indifferent.
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'nuff said.
1 comment:
I saw some of the fashions on a yahoo hollywood spread. *blinking* What were some of them thinking? Did they even look in the mirror before leaving home? OMFG!!!!
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