Today’s post begins with a fractal called Fan Star: a “fan” image was necessary for this confessional--but I’m sure my loyal readers can see why from the title.-
I have come to an inescapable truth about myself that I’m sad to admit: I’m a Fanboy. I suffer from multiple forms of Fandom but luckily the condition has never gotten any worse than “Second Stage Fandom” (which I will explain shortly) but I assure you that’s quite bad enough. Fandom as a concept has been recognized since the 1940s but even today many people are afflicted with Fandom and don’t even know it. The condition is well documented among Comic Book and Science Fiction Fans but it comes in many other forms. (We all know an obsessive “Sports Card Collector” or the crazy lady with 300+ Marie Osmond Dolls. Yes you, like me, could be a Fan and not even know it!
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Here’s a list of how Fandom progresses…
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FIRST STAGE FANDOM
The disease first manifests itself as a neurotic need to collect everything you can. In my case this is a neurotic need to collect every Christmas CD ever recorded by Manheim Steamroller. It doesn’t matter that the group is doing the same schtick every year and that the quality is making a slow, inevitable downward crawl: if I see a new Manheim Steamroller Christmas CD on the market I’m buying it.
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SECOND STAGE FANDOM
A “Second Stage” Fan seeks out others similarly afflicted. (This explains the origins of Quilting Guilds, Comic Book Conventions and Star Trek Association for Revival. Their conversation begins to be consumed by whatever their particular hobby may be--even when others they are speaking with show little to no interest. (I know my sisters are going to think I’m taking a swipe at their quilting obsession but I’ve been trapped in these conversation with Sci Fi Fans, Comic Book Fans, Gamers and even sports fans: nobody is immune.)
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THIRD STAGE FANDOM
This is where the disease takes a dangerous turn: the collecting obsession progresses past the single item. Now they have to have anything remotely related to their particular strain of Fandom. Sports Fans, Gamers and Comic Book Fans are particularly vulnerable because manufacturers produce so much material for “Collectors.” (Not that other “Fans” are spared: they too have plenty of “Dealers” ready to feed their addiction.)
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Sports Fans have team jerseys, caps, jackets--even underwear--in fact any piece of clothing can have a team logo stitched or printed on. Then you get posters, cards, mugs, flags, antenna balls and god knows what else. PLUS there’s all the traveling to games to see their team play which has its own set of expenses. Comic Book Fans get suckered into buy “Special Editions” (a foil cover that more than doubles the price of the book--while costing the publisher less than a cent to produce. Then the fan has the opportunity to collect all sorts of other media (books, DVDs and electronic games) toys and a host of other products emblazoned with the book/character logo. Fans of Role Playing Games have an ever-expanding array of product to buy that could drive a millionaire to the Poor House.
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FOURTH STATE FANDOM
Fourth Stage Fans eat, sleep and breathe their hobby. It’s all they talk about and their fandom rules their lives. They may write blogs or “fanfic” about their hobby and might even go so far as to try to get a job in a field related to their Fandom (which at least is helps them make a few bucks). They schedule themselves around their Fandom and even get offended when non-Fans presume to try to hold an event that conflicts with theirs. To wit: a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) had a Birthday that fell on the same day as the regularly-scheduled Dungeons and Dragons game. Her husband and several friends refused to cancel or postpone their game to attend her party and got angry that she would schedule the event against their game and got even angrier with those of us gamers (Stage One and Two Fans) who elected to attend the party. (Yes, I was a D&D Player back in the day.)
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STAGE FIVE (TERMINAL) FANDOM
This is where the Fan becomes a Stalker: they might actually believe they are a Star Fleet Officer, Vampire or even a Pro Football Player. Their Fandom affects their school/work performance but it doesn’t bother the Fan. Fandom begins to wreck their relationships since Marriages and personal relationships take a back seat to the Fandom. Worse, they might go so far as to do something illegal to get close to the object of their obsession. At this point Fans are essentially useless to anyone but other Fans (who call them Superfans.) Non-Fans can’t help them: all you can do is shake your head and sigh.
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So why am I writing this? I started thinking about it after I bought the latest Manheim Steamroller album Christmasville. I thought their last album was (in all honesty) pretty crappy but I still ordered a second copy when my first one disappeared. I listened to Christmasville and really rather liked it--but I wondered why Chip Davis had chosen to do an album featuring music from How The Grinch Stole Christmas (both the original TV Cartoon and that travesty of a movie). Then I read the liner notes and found out that Chip Davis had been asked to do the music for a Universal Studios “Grinch”-themed show. (Of course, seeing an opportunity to make even more money he decided to release the music on an album--and getting paid twice for the same project.)
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Still, I guess I can’t really blame Chip Davis or his record company. I could have done a little research and found out the nature of the project (which I then may or may not have purchased) but I chose not to do so. I made the decision to buy the album for the sake of completeness (and because I got it for less than $10.00) I, like, any Fan (of whatever) have to take responsibility for my habit and learn to control my impulses. (Maybe I should start an organization called Fandom Anonymous which will help Fans on their road to recover.)
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Also, know that recovery is possible for all but the most rabid of “Truefans”. All it takes is a prolonged exposure to bad material. I know it works because I am a walking example. To wit: I was a Fan of the “Xanth” Novels by Piers Anthony. When I first started reading the books were “clever” and “fun” but all-too-soon they degenerated into “cute” then “cutesey” then “cutesey-poo” and finally “what am I reading this sh#t for?” (Yet still I kept reading for at least five books beyond the point they became irredeemable until I finally gave up in utter disgust (but not before I bought the “Xanth“ Board Game.
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Sadly, Fandom is an insidious disease: Fans who manage to get cured of one version often find themselves catching another kind of Fandom and thus the cycle starts all over again. The underlying condition that made us prey to Fandom in the first place still exists and it is hard to cure without extensive help or getting a life--but that’s a post for another time.
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Think about it.
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