"Nothing "Super" About This "Hero Movie"

I picked today’s fractal Out of Ideas because I’m ‘out of ideas” for a better image to choose for this post. Ah well--on with the post…
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In case you haven’t figured it out--I actually like super hero movies. I generally like parodies as well. I was predisposed to like Superhero Movie but I was sadly disappointed.
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Admittedly, I went in with a bad frame of mind: Robyn and I went to the AMC at the Block of Orange (where even our DISCOUNTED tickets were $8.00!): we arrived at the Box Office about 12:05 and asked for the tickets for the 1:20 showing. We decided to wander around for a while but then we took a look at our tickets . . . Imagine my surprise when I saw they were for the friggin’ 12:10 showing! Luckily AMC likes to run 20+ minutes of previews and commercials so we only ended up missing the opening credits.
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Superhero Movie has a lot of material to mine for jokes. Sadly, they mostly go for the first Spiderman movie. There are a few X-Men and Fantastic Four jokes everything else is pretty much ignored (and that‘s too bad--there are TONS of good jokes you could make at the expense of the Batman franchise!) There are a few good laughs but more “fart” jokes than even your average nine-year old would find acceptable. In fact, most of the jokes in this story are beaten so far into the ground that they come out on the far side of the planet (and they’re none the better for the trip.)

Disney “pretty boy” Drake Bell plays Rick Ryker/Dragonfly--the not-so-super-hero who’s story we follow. Veteran actors Leslie Nielson and Marion Ross are ill-served as his aunt and uncle. They gamely try to work with what they are given but not even the most talented and experienced actors can save themselves from complete drek. Former hunk Chris (now he calls himself “Christopher"--I guess because he needs the longer game to go with his added bulk) McDonald doesn’t completely suck as the villain (but he doesn‘t get much to work with.) I liked the bit with Tracy Morgan as a black (and very ghetto) “Professor X” but even that went on a bit too long. Oddly enough Pamela Anderson has a too brief stint as the Invisible Girl. (She completely blows Jessica Alba off the screen and even manages to look better in the costume.)
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There is so little to recommend in this movie. The jokes aren’t funny, the FX are lame (and not in a good way) the acting never rises above leaden and there aren’t even a lot of laughs. Don’t waste your time or $$$ on this turkey.
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FINAL GRADE: D-