Talking "Trash" (Sports, That Is)

Today's post was inspired by The Superstars a "trash" sports TV show that pairs athletes and celebrities. Hence, Double Star 2 seemed like a reasonable choice for today's fractal NOW--on with the commentary!
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As you may have guessed from my "Go Lakers" post I'm not much for Professional Sports (if you haven't read it, scroll down a few posts and check it out). That being said, I'm quite a fan of "trash sports: and what are "trash" sports I hear your cry? Basically, trash sports are made-up competitions for television. ABC started them back in the early 1970s as part of their Wide World Of Sports show back in the early 1970s I think. Professional Athletes of all disciplines competed in games like swimming, hurdles and the infamous "Obstacle Course". (I remember being surprised at the quality of talent they signed up for the humiliation.) It was a real hoot watching these "fish out of water" guys make complete fools of themselves as they tried things they never trained for. (I still remember Johnny Bench--before he got himself banned from baseball--just giving up and WALKING in a swim race. Good stuff that!)
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Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery (and since ABC was willing to rip ITSELF off) it wasn't long before Battle Of The Network Stars made it to the boob tube (with emphasis on the boob). They didn't get too many "A" List TV stars but a lot of "B" listers did the show: dunno how they got all those folks into those silly little bathing suits either but I found it strangely titillating. Yes, critics reviled these shows and, yes, there was ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING SOCIAL VALUE in these programs AT ALL but I loved them--the gravitas of Howard Cosell who seemed to take every assignment, no matter how silly, completely seriously and the way everybody seemed to have a good time and showed good sportsmanship. It was a simply, happier time back then...
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Dunno why Battle Of The Network Stars quit airing (guess it was because of low ratings) but TV Trash Sports eventually involved into things like the never ending steroid-fest that was American Gladiators (both versions) and many other similar shows. Still, like any fads, TV Trash Sports faded into nostalgic kitsch--at least for a while...
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In Television Land everything old eventually becomes new again--even "Trash" Sports . . . As network and cable TV fortunes waned and Reality TV came to the foreground: buoyed by successes like Wipeout and I Survived A Japanese Game Show, I suppose it was only a matter of time until ABC resurrected celebrity trash sports. On Tuesday June 23, The Superstars invaded our television screens.
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I really wanted to like the show. Still, from "Jump Street" I knew I was going to be disappointed. First there was the "Z" List cast of celebrities--half of whom I couldn't recognize (and I have a pretty good grasp on pop culture). When did Maksim Chmirkovski of Dancing With The Stars become a celebrity? And who the hell are David Charvet, Joanna Kruppa and Estella Warren anyway? About the biggest "get" of the celebrities is former "Doritos Girl" Ali Landry. Terrell Owens is the biggest "name" athlete but at least I could recognize all the athletes (surprise!) Host Jim Saunders can barely string two words together and "Color Commentator" Warren Sapp is no Howard Cosell. At least Jenn Brown looks better in a bikini than Frank Gifford ever did--of this I am sure (but she's got nothing on him in the interviewing department).
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Running an hour and a half, The Superstars could easily be trimmed by a third and lose nothing, The endless repeats and limited camera angles make the visuals seem stunted. Worse, both celebrities and athletes come of as completely dumb: the way these guys 'n' gals are portrayed I'm afraid if I said "hello" to one they'd be lost for an answer. Worse, I was surprised to see what poor sports so many of the cast seemed to be--particularly the team of Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa. (I was SO glad when they got kicked off and the end of Episode One.) Still, there isn't much else on TV so I guess I'll keep watching...
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'nuff said.