2009: the Year In Ron

Another year is coming to a close and I must confess that for a good part of 2009 I felt like I was on the MOTHER of all Roller Coasters and the ride would never end!  Still, now that the ride HAS come to an end I'm still unclenching my hands, stomach and jaw.  (I'm gettin' too old for this stuff!)  Even so, I've decided to put forth a list of things large and small that I found important or at least interesting.  The fractal is New Year's Eve 2 and it was chosen because I put this post up on New Year's Eve.  How's that for a reason?
Now--without further ado I give you--the Year in Ron!
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On a personal level, this year...

• we got our very first brand new car.
• that car was bought was Korean (a Hyundai Sonata in case you've forgotten) and we're ridiculously happy with the choice we made.
• I had to take a step back to preserve my own sanity.
• I really started missing Greg Kirby as a Choir Director.
• I reconciled myself to living in Riverside County (and I'm actually happy about it).
• I made my "Bucket" List (and published it on my blog!)
• I culled Christmas Music from my too extensive library.
• I self medicated with food WAY too much.
• I went to Laughlin Nevada for the first (and probably last) time in my life.
• I learned to love and hate my iPOD.
• my tolerance for "chaos" reached new lows.
• I let Robyn wear capris (and they didn't look totally awful on her!)
• I had to grovel my way out of a ticket.
• I quit caring what most people tought about me.
• I proved I had grace under pressure more than once.
• I gave up on the newspaper.  (There's only so much of the ceaseless crapfest of the Press Enterprise I can talke and I'm well past my limit.)
• we still haven't found a decent Mexican Restaurant in Riverside County.  (Oddly enough we've found two pretty good BBQ places...)

In the world of entertainment...

• J.J. Abrams took gave Star Trek the good swift (re)boot it needed to become great once again.  Zachary Quinto was BORN to play Spcok!
• I became a total "Gleek."  How did this weird High School musical fantasy become the best new show in years?
• I totally gave up trying to figure out Lost.
• Avatar was the biggest movie disappointment since the sequal to Romancing The Stone (for me at least).
• I mourned the loss of Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money and Eli Stone--three shows that got canceled way to soon.  At least they kindasorta got a chance for abreviated send offs.
• I avoided hearing Christmas Shoes for the entire holiday season!  Now if only I could say the same for Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer....
• I watched with a certain sense of schadenfreude the fall and rise and fall again of Miss California Carrie Prejean.  I'm not the least bit impressed by Perez Hilton but I worry about people who say God talks to them.
• I watched Tiger Woods become a national joke.

This year in Politics

• I watched a black man become President--and inherit the biggest mess since I don't know when.  Poor Barak Obama has to deal with an economic meltdown of truly epic proportions and a mess of a war to boot.  There's no way out of either mess and anything he does is sure to be criticized: wouldn't want that.
• I watched "Ahnold" prove he nothing more than a cheap politician.
• I wished I could bring up the entire State Legislature on charges for malicious stupidity.
• I watched a juicy sex scandal involving a senior Replican fade into nothing.
• I was surprised (but pleased) that our country got back a little respect in the eyes of the world.
• I was surprised to watch immigration virtually disappear as a hot-button issue.
• I still know nothing about RivCo politics (and don't care either).

So there you have some snapshots of my year.  Hope yours was wonderful and that next year is better than the last.  Thanks for reading my blog.
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'nuff said

Avatar and Sherlock Holmes Reviewed

I love Christmas Time--because besides summer it's teh only time I get to see movies I'm bound to enjoy.  This year I got to see two, Avatar and Sherlock Holmes.  That's why I picked Double Diamond as the fractal image for today's post: I think you can figure out why without further explanation.
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Christmas Day Robyn and I traveled to the OC to be with friends for Christmas Dinner.  Before we ate we met up with Alison Young and her daugher Eris for an early showing of the latest incarnation of Sherlock Holmes.  Truth in commentary requires that I admit I'm not a huge fan of the "classic" films starring Basil Rathbone as the eponymous lead.  In this case that's probably not a good thing because this ain't your father's "Deerstalker" wearing, Detective.  Yes. he's still a pipe-smoker but the dapper Englishman of yore has been replace by a drug-addled eccentric (like the books but moreso.)  Dr. John Watson has also gotten a makeover--no longer the bumbling fat sidekick he has morphed into a handsome charmer who is almost Holmes' intellectual equal (and not without resources of his own).  
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As a matter-of-fact, the entire "Hommesian" world has gotten a thoroughly modern makeover for this movie.  London is a gritty, dirty place all done in shades of gray and brown.  Holmes is a drug-addled eccentric martial-arts master with a genius that sets him apart from society and makes him barely tolerate (except for a few select individuals that are more-or-less welcomed into his world).  Robert Downey Jr. makes a creditable Sherlock (and I never caught his English accent faltering even once).  Jude Law makes an excellent foil for Downey in his role as Dr. John Watson.  The plot (too complicated to relate in a double review) FX and shooting style are also thoroughly modern but somehow everything worls together for an exciting movie.  It is well worth making the effort to see the movie on a big screen.
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FINAL GRADE: A  
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Writer-Director James Cameron worked for more than a decade to bring Avatar to the big screen.  What he produced was a visual "tour de force" that literally needs to be seen to be believed.  His world is truly alien (if frankly candy-colored) and his alien animals look really cool (even if I'm not sure they could work in anything like a real planet).  The FX and battle scenes are pretty spectacular--and that's where the good things I have to say about the movie pretty much ends.
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The entire plot can be pretty much surmised in one sentance: disaffected hero in the pay of an "evil empire" goes to an unspoiled paradise and has a mystical revelation and leads the natives to preserve their world and way of life.  Yeah, the story is pretty much that simple and its packed with one-dimensional characters that are cliched in the extreme.  I hate to throw terms around like "hackneyed" but that's pretty much what this script is: you can see everything coming from a mile away and even the loud soundtrack can't disguise the loud clockwork grinding as the script clanks along to its inevitable conclusion.  Worse--it takes two hours and forty minutes to get there (and with 25 minutes of previews Avatar is a total :butt-number").  The (mostly unknown) actors do well enough with what they are given to do but I was disturbed by male lead Sam Worthington's "wandering" accent.  (He usually does this very flat American accent but he frequently slips so even an uneducated listener can pick it up.)  Still, the average movie-goer will probably really enjoy Avatar from start to finish.
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Will Avatar make a ton of moeny?  Yes.  Will it, as some commentators claim, change the future of movie-making?  I doubt it.  The 3D FX are nothing short of breathtaking and subtle in their exection.  Are they necessary to enjoy the movie?  No--but the FX raise Avatar from just another movie to the level of "must see".  Was the movie good?  Yes.  Was it $11.75 per ticket (and that was the matinee price!) good?  Not hardly.  All the visual trickery in the world can't mask the fact that Avatar really AIN'T all that.
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FINAL GRADES
     FX: A++
     EVERYTHING ELSE: C 

This Year's Christmas Albums: PART DEUX

Choosging Winter Solstice seems a pretty obvious choice for reviewing  new Christmas Albums--one of which is titled On A Winter's Night.  Does anything more need be said?  No--so on with the review!
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I knew I'd be getting another Christmas Album--since I saw Robyn pick it up at Target.  (I pointed it out to her in fact--but more on that later.)  Still, we were in Sam's Club Wednesday night picking up a few last-minute things we needed to take to a Christmas Eve Party tonight.  While my lady-love was perusing the books (as she is wont to do) I checked out their (limited) music selection.  Like everything else Sting's Christmas Album had been priced to clear.  (We also picked up a really nice Christmas Tree Skirt (for 1/3 the original price)--but that's a story for another post--and not a good one at that).
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I have to be honest--when I heard Sting was doing a Christmas Album I was somewhat less than sanguine.  The "Stingster" just doesn't seem like the type for Holiday joy.  Anyone looking "fa-la-la" or a "holly jolly Christmas" won't find it here--and Father Christmas is conspicuously absent from the fifteen cuts.    On A Winter's  Night is a rather solemn (often downbeat) album yet it still has an austere beauty.  None of the songs are above mid-tempo and there is little (if any) in the way of amplified instruemts.  There are a few jazzy licks here and there and a some contemporary-style arrangements on the songs but most of them are done on period instruemnts--giving the album a soft, inimate quality.  What emerges is a contemplative counterpoint to the glitz and frantic glamour of the season.  Most of the music is traditional English Folk Songs although some are new musical settings of poems.  Sting composed a couple of winter-themed songs for the album.  Will On A Winter's Night go down as one of the "Great" Christmas Albums of all times?  Probably not: it is simply too esoteric to have a broad appeal but it is still makes a fine counterpoint to the often phoney "joy" of the season.  FINAL GRADE: A
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Every few years the Trans-Siberian Orchestra rolls out a new album--each more bombastic and overblown than the last.    You can count on a mix of Carols, well-known classical pieces and original tunes framed around a story you have to read (or maybe see live) to comprehend.  You'll have your fuzzy guitars with amplification "turned up to eleven" and synthesizers backing rock vocalists and there's alos the orchestra and choir to give it some depths.  For fans of their style--Night Castle won't disappoint. 
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For me, I found myself wanting something more.  Night Castle is an ambitious double-disc album with a story I simply couldn't follow.  The "Christmas" elements are kept to a minimum here (I only recognized a few bits from The Nutcracker) but there are some interesting "rocked up" classical pieces (they were born to play Bach's Tocata and Fugue and their take on Carmina Burana was pretty cool too) but I couldn't escape the feeling that I'd heard it all before (maybe on their last three albums?)  Maybe I'm an old grump or maybe the Trans-Siberian boys have just run out of ideas.  I guess we won't know until their next ablum.  FINAL GRADE: C+
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I hope your Christmas got a Final Grade of A+ and your New Year is rated A+++.  Brightest blessings to all my "loyal" readers and everyone who chooses to drop by now and then.
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'nuff said.

I thought I'd pick something rainbow or candy-colored for my review of Xanadu but then I came across this image called Disk-Oh! and thought it would work.  I mean really!  What better for a movie about creating a roller disco than an image like this one?  True, the colors are hardly perfect (they don't go with the show's candy-colored palette) but I still think it makes sense in so many other ways. (You'll see why as I go along.) That being said--on with the review!

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Xanadu has an interesting history: based on the 1947 movie musical Down To Earth (starring Rita Hayworth) and Gene Kelly. It was re-made (as Xanadu) in 1980 (starring Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly (who reprised his role from the original). The plot was meandering (at best), the acting was wooden (to be kind) and the costumes were just silly (even by the standards of the day). I can only assume copious amounts of cocaine were consumed during the entire production process. Paradoxically, the movie spawned several hits for Newton-John and Electric Light Orchestra that have become "classic" pop ditties. In 2007 Producers got the bright idea to turn it into a live show.
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The staged version of Xanadu has proven to be surprisingly successfiul: they kept most of the music from the movie (the best part of source material) and even the silly plot. The re-write was done thoroughly tongue-in-cheek and the actors were given free reign to camp it up to their hearts desire. They also kept the show short (barely an hour and a half) so the audience never really got to the chance to realize how slight everything really was. The set was kept simple yet effective, the costumes cute (and silly as the looks from the movie) and the effects were minimal yet in keeping with the whole feel of the production. The five-member band doesn't quite manage to duplicate the "ELO" sound but they were plenty effective.
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In the end, what viewers got was the stage musical equivelant of cotton candy-- no substance but none-too-substantial. No audience member is going to walk away from Xanadu with an emotional catharsis or feeling that some great emotional truth has been exposed in a new way. What you get is an hour-an-a-half of pure, unadulterated FUN that is suitable for small kids and grannies alike. It is a safe and pleasing (if very light) entertainment. And really--when you think of it--what's wrong with that?
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'nuff said.

A Christmas Carol Quiz

I chose Which Way to Christmas as today's fractal image mainly because I needed something "holiday" to go with the first-ever quiz I created for my blog. That being said--care to test your knowledge of how well you know your Christmas Music? Take my quiz and see!

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QUESTION ONE: What were the "Three Kings of Orient" doing?

• a) shopping for a luxury car


• b) trying to smoke a rubber cigar


• c) bearing gifts
• d) going out to a Transvestite Bar
• e) trying to clean up a bad spill of tar

QUESTION TWO: Who wrote "The Little Drummer Boy"?

• a) Barbara Mandrill
• b) Harry Simeon
• c) Hairy Simeon
• d) Bobby Bonobo
• e) William Johnson and Lem Drabinski

QUESTION THREE: while we're on the subject of The Little Drummer Boy--what did Mary do when the boy asked to play his drum for the baby Jesus?

• a) said "thanks for offering but no."
• b) sighed
• c) let the kid play
• d) sent the kid away with a strong lecture
• e) nodded

QUESTION FOUR: "the Holly bears a berry..."

• a) that's white as the milk
• b) that's black as the coal
• c) as blood it is red
• d) all of the above
• e) none of the above

QUESTION FIVE: what country does Carol Of The Bells come from?

• a) Ukraine
• b) Lithuania
• c) Latvia
• d) Romania
• e) Ireland

QUESTION SIX: which of these other tunes fits the scansion of O Little Town Of Bethlehem?

• a) The House Of The Rising Sun
• b) Flow Gently Sweet Afton
• c) Amazing Grace (if you sing the verse twice)
• d) all of the above
• e) none of the above

QUESTION SEVEN: what did "Grandma" have on her back?

• a) a heating pad
• b) rug burns
• c) incriminating "Claus" marks
• d) a tattoo
• e) a map to Santa's Workshop

QUESTION EIGHT: what is the most popular hymn tune when singing Good Christian Men Rejoice?

• a) In Dulce Jubilo
• b) "Old Hundred"
• c) O Waly, Waly
• d) Glaustsestershire
• e) none of the above

QUESTION NINE: who first recorded Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree?

• a) Wanda Jackson
• b) Wayne Newton
• c) Brenda Lee
• d Hall and Oats
• e) Elvis Presley
• f) wait-this question isn't fair! Brenda Lee and Wayne Newton are the same person!

QUESTION TEN: what were the "Angels We Have Heard On High" doing?

• a) sending forth a glad refrain
• b) sweetly singing o'er the plain
• c) complaining that their job's a pain
• d) trying to catch the morning train
• e) echoing the joyous strain

QUESTION ELEVEN: According to the song of the same name--Mary Did You Know...

• a) that a stable isn't the ideal place to give birth
• b) that your baby boy would one day walk on water
• c) that Joseph was cheating on you with the chippie next door
• d) that your child will do wondrous things
• e) that this gig was going to be a lot harder than it looked

QUESTION TWELVE: according to the ORIGINAL lyrics of Jolly Old Saint Nicholas--what was wrong with the singer...?

• a) he wasn't very smart
• b) he was a smarmy little twerp
• c) he wasn't coordinated
• d) the other kids didn't like him
• e) all of the above

QUESTION THIRTEEN: what did the "Night Wind" say to the "Little Lamb"? (in Do You Hear What I Hear?"

• a) nothing: wind can't talk
• b) "Do you hear what I hear?"
• c) "Do see what I see?"
• d) "Do you smell what 'the Rock' is cooking?"
• e) nothing. The Night Wind and the Little Lamb haven't been speaking since "the incident."

QUESTION FOURTEEN: what holiday was Jingle Bells composed for?

• a) Thanksgiving
• b) Christmas
• c) Christmas you idiot!
• d) Solstice Day
• e) New Year's Day

QUESTION FIFTEEN: what was Jack Frost doing in The Christmas Song?

• a) "ripping off your clothes"
• b) "nipping at your nose"
• c) "wearing pantyhose"
• d) watching TV Shows
• e) freezing Cousin Rose

QUESTION SIXTEEN: Patapan is...

• a) part of the chorus from Little Drummer Boy
• b) a Spanish carol
• c) a Mexican carol
• d) a carol from the American Southwest
• e) a French country carol

QUESTION SEVENTEEN: what does The Coventry Carol commemorate?

• a) Mary and Joseph's flight into Egypt
• b) the travels of the Three Wise Men
• c) angels telling the shepherds in the fields
• d) King Harod's slaughter of the innocents
• e) the birth of Christ

QUESTION EIGHTEEN: in the ORIGINAL LYRICS of I Wonder As I Wander why did "Jesus the Savior come for to die?"

• a) for four horny people like you and like I
• b) to save lowly people like you and like I
• c) for poor ornrey people like you and like I
• d) just 'cuz the Savior is that kind of guy
• e) the Savior just did it--nobody knows why

QUESTION NINETEEN: In It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas where are the trees located?

• a) in the park and the Grand Hotel
• b) in the Grand Hotel and your Living Room
• c) in the park and the Town Square
• d) in the park, the Grand Hotel and your Living Room
• e) none of the above

QUESTION TWENTY: Silent Night was originally written for

• a) soprano, alto and harpsichord
• b) choir and organ
• c) baritone and tenor sung acapella
• d) baritone and tenor with guitar
• e) baritone and tenor with choral response and guitar

Fill in the blanks of the following lines and name the carols from which they come.

QUESTION TWENTY ONE: "Nellie wants a story book. She__________"

QUESTION TWENTY TWO: "Myrrh is mine, it's _____________ breathes___________"

QUESTION TWENTY THREE: "I've just one wish__________, I wish _____________"

QUESTION TWENTY FOUR: "Want a________________. Me I _____________"

QUESTION TWENTY FIVE: "Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make_________"

And now scroll down a bit for the answers

ANSWERS

1: c ) 2: b ) 3: c ) 4: d ) 5: b 6: d ) 7: c) 8: a ) 9: b ) 10: b ) 11: b ) 12: a ) 13: c )

14: a ) 15: b ) 16: e ) 17: d ) 18: c ) 19: a ) 20: d ) 21: "thinks dolls are folly. (from Jolly Old Saint Nicholas) 22: bitter perfume/a life of gathering gloom. (from We Three Kings) 23: on this Christmas Eve/I wish I were with you. (from Merry Christmas Darling) 24: "a plane that loops the loop/want a hula hoop" (from the Chipmunks Christmas Song) 25: "the yuletide gay (from Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This Year's Christmas Albums

A post about the holidays requires a holiday-themed fractal. Since I have already used all my "Christmas" fractals I had had to create something new. This one reminds me of of poinsettia blossoms in the snow--thus the name, Holiday Poinsettias. Now on with the review!
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I really like Christmas music: there--I've said it. (Of course I said it about this time last year as well.) You might be shocked or scandalized to know how many Christmas albums I actually OWN. (I'd tell you but, in all honesty, I've lost count.) Every year I promise myself I'm not going to buy anything new: I already have enough and I don't need any more. Of course then I find something by an artist I like or discover somebody new and I end up adding another album to my collection. This year I bought four new albums (above my average of two) and rumor has it "Santa Claus" is going to be leaving a fifth one in my Christmas Stocking. So--since I haven't been to any movies recently (and I feel the need to post) here's a review of this year's crop of Christmas music.
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MANHEIM STEAMROLLER: CHRISTMAS--25th ANNIVERSARY EDITION
I've been a fan of Manheim Steamroller since they were a "fringe" group that nobody knew about. I remember the days of having to go to BIG record stores (when we actually HAD such things) to find their albums--and still having to scour the place to find their new music. But times have changed: record stores ("big" or others) have all but vanished and, thanks to main stream radio playing non-stop Christmas music six weeks before the holiday, Manheim Steamroller has become as much a part of Christmas as Santa and Gingerbread. They've made quite a little industry for themselves out of Christmas and Chip Davis, founder and driving force behind the group never passes up an opportunity to squeeze a few more dollars out of the franchise. The 25th Anniversary of the release of their first (and probably best) Christmas Album was an opportunity that could not be passed up.
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The album contains 25 songs on two discs. There are a few new songs (original compositions that are pleasant enough but so forgettable I couldn't tell you what they are without looking them up. The other cuts are old songs nicely arranged for pleasant listening. Davis did an excellent job selecting representative works from his albums and there's only one clunker in the bunch. Their version of The Christmas Song (featuring vocals by Johnny Mathis) is a torturous dirge that all but drowns the listen in the audio equivalent of treacle. I've never been a fan of Mathis' particularly "precious" style of singing and this song shows his instrument isn't what it once was: not even recording trickery can disguise the fact that Johnny Mathis is getting OLD!) Still, for completeists like me, or those who want something nice, this is a good album to have. You can listen to it and enjoy it or put it on as background music for your holiday party and not have the music intrude. FINAL GRADE: A-
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MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER: COME DARKNESS, COME LIGHT
Mary Chapin Carpenter is hardly your typical Country artist. Yes, she'll tackle the usual themes but there's a certain charm and, dare I say it? intellectualism that draws the listener in. Yes, she the kind of Country artist for people who don't like Country Music. Her first Christmas Album (released last year) follow her usual path of slightly downbeat songs, simply yet elegantly crafted and melancholy themes. People looking for "fa-la-la-la-la" and "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" won't find that here: the traditional songs would probably be unfamiliar to most people. (Since I like Christmas music so much I'm familiar with everything on the album.) The newer songs are contemplative ruminations on the season that tend to suck you in. This isn't Christmas party music: it's music you listen to with close friends and people you love by a fireplace in a darkened room.
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My favorite cuts on the album are the title track, Come Darkness, Come Light--a Christmas Song of deep faith and hope done in the spare elegant manner that Carpenter does so well. Candlelight Carol, written as a choral piece by John Rutter, is stripped down to the bare essentials that allows the beauty of the song to shine through like a lighthouse in the darkness. There is one critical misstep on this album: the final cut, Children Go Where I Send Thee is an old gospel song that follows the pattern of The 12 Days of Christmas. Like the "12 Days" this song goes on and on without really going anywhere (and it meanders on for over eight minutes!). I don't "quite" wants to claw my ears off but I don't want to listen to it either. In an album chock full of elegant little gems this song sticks out like a gigantic lump of coal! FINAL GRADE: A- (It would have been A+ except for the last song.)
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LORENNA McKENNIT: A MIDWINTER NIGHT'S DREAM
Lorenna McKennit gives her New-Age-Celtic-Meets-Middle-Eastern style of arrangements to traditional English and French Carols. Fans of her style will probably enjoy the album: I certainly did. Her musical style isn't for everyone but at least her music has an original sound you won't find elsewhere. Be warned though--this stuff won't appeal to mainstream music fans. Still, I felt a little cheated by this album: several of the songs here were included in other albums (although with new arrangements) and I really think I should have gotten something new for my money. FINAL GRADE: B+ (because she cheated her listeners).
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STRAIGHT NO CHASER: CHRISTMAS CHEERS
Straight No Chaser is definitely a "one trick pony"--but that trick they do VERY well. For those of you who don't know, that "trick" is close harmony singing--unaccompanied by only what they can produce out of their own bodies. Their clever take on The 12 Days Of Christmas was a massive YouTube hit was enough to get them a record contract. Their first album, Holiday Spirits, sold well enough to get them a second Christmas album and the group stayed true to what got them there with Christmas Cheers. There are "clever" songs (The Christmas Can-Can might well be called "12 Days Part Deux" since it shamelessly copies the first hit. The rest of the album is a mix of carols and novelty songs that work pretty well.
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Still, this wouldn't be my blog if I didn't find something to complain about: their version of Jingle Bells is a shameless rip-off of the Barbara Streisand version. (True, a lot of listeners wouldn't notice--but I certainly did.) I hope they gave her Arranger royalties for copying his work. Their version of It's Christmas Time Pretty Baby (which I actually like a lot) features a bad "Elvis as Santa" joke that goes on too long and qualifies as "funny once" (maybe). After that it gets old real fast. Their "one trick" is starting to wear a bit thin and I'm not sure I'll buy a third album from the group. FINAL GRADE: B+
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A FEAST OF SONG: HOLIDAY MUSIC FROM THE MIDDLE AGES. BETH and BARRY HALL.
"Period" music played on "period" instruments isn't for everyone: I happen to like that (in small doses at least). Beth and Barry Hall sing all the parts and play all the instruments (thanks to the wonders of modern technology), The songs are (relatively) accessible but I wouldn't recommend this disc to those who are not fans of Ancient Music. FINAL GRADE: A

Another One Bites The Dust...

I created today's image Tiger In The Tank especially for this post. No, it doesn't particularly look like a tank OR a tiger--but the black-and-orange color scheme is called "Tiger"--although this looks like hot lava. Come to think of it though--that might work for the situation Tiger Woods has gotten himself into as well. So--on with the snark!
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So it seems that another athlete held up as a role model for our children has proven he has feet of clay. The incident happened around 2:30 AM Saturday November 28 but I didn't hear anything about it until two days later. By then rumors were swirling around about Tiger Woods and how he ran into a tree. Some people said his hot blond, Swedish wife Elin rescued him by breaking out the windows of his Escalade with a golf club--but other sources said she'd chased him out of the house WITH a golf club because of an affair. In a rare public-relations blunder the golfer holed up in his home--refusing to talk to police or the press. (Dunno how the press came up with the girl's name but Rachel Ucatel was quick to hire a high-[powered Lawyer and insist she barely knew Tiger.) Only AFTER another Las Vegas "Nightclub Hostess" came forward--with a Voice Mail--did Woods issue a statement admitting "transgressions" and asking for privacy. A week later the story is still going strong.
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Why am I still interested? One word--schadenfreude. (For you who might happen to be uninitiated into the concept "schadenfreude" is a German word meaning "happiness at the Misfortune of others:" it takes quite the people to come up with a concept like that--much less a word for it!) I find it endlessly fascinating why someone in Tiger Woods position--who pretty much has it all--would WANT to risk throwing it all away. Why would he want to live down to every negative stereotype of a black athlete? (What's next? Massive "bling"--maybe an O.J. Simpson after the wife has enough sense to leave him?) Besides--who doesn't love juicy gossip? Since Tiger ain't providing any details we're free to make stuff up!
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I also find it interesting how much "information" Media types feel free to give out: here's some interesting tidbits I've heard. (Whether ANY of it is true I haven't any idea...)

• DID Tiger deposit a million dollars into his wife's personal account so she wouldn't leave with the kids?
• DID the wife demand (and GET) a re-write of the "prenup"--in her favor?
• Are the couple REALLY in "round-the-clock" marriage counseling?

And of course I want all the tawdry details of the sordid affair(s)... Not enough to buy any book or watch the inevitable interview with some TV "Talking Head"--but all the good stuff will be all over the news shows soon enough. God, the very THOUGHT makes me feel dirty! (In a good way though...)

Still, it's sad to see a good guy done in by himself. I can only hope Tiger Woods figures out why he felt the need to trash his family and makes a real effort to repair the damage he's done. We haven't heard the last of the trash from this story (and personally I can't WAIT for the dish!) but if Tiger cleans up his act all will be forgiven and forgotten. But that's a story for later...

'nuff said.

I Think I'm Gettin' Too Old For This Kind Of Show...

Picking Spring Storm as the image for my review of Spring Awakening was a pretty obvious choice. Yes, the colors are a bit bright for a show as dark as this one (but more on that later) but the general "sturm and drang" feelings comes through pretty well I think. So--on with the review!
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To me, the most interesting aspect of Spring Awakening is the backstory: written in 1893 the play was so shocking that it was only allowed one performance--and not performed again until 1917. After a very short run the play mostly faded into obscurity into a musical version was brought to Broadway and won several Tony Awards in 2007. I think Spring Awakening is still running in NYC and I finally saw the first National Tour on Saturday November 28.
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I won't really get into the plot of the show (because there really isn't that much to it) but I will tell you Spring Awakening explores themes of sexual awakening, child abuse, "throwaway children", CYA schools and "shift the blame" parents. All the characters are, in one way or another, flawed--whether through fault of their own or as products of their upbringing. The whole story is soaked in teen angst and melodrama that I've seen a million times before. Still, judging by the reaction of most of the audience maybe I'm the one out-of-step: I DEFINITELY am not the target audience for this show.
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Maybe I was grumpy at the PAC who brought new highs (lows) to Customer DISservice or maybe I couldn't get past the technical problems of the show. (A couple of the leads were badly miked so I found it difficult to understand a lot of what they were saying.) Add that most of the male cast was wearing identical uniforms and I found I couldn't tell the Players without a Score Card (but that's my vision issue and I can't fault the show for that.) The music, partially penned by "one hit wonder" Duncan Sheik (himself the son of "one hit wonder Jonathan Edwards) was serviceable rock anthems that failed to stir my soul.
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In the end I can honestly say I'm glad I saw the show but can't really say I enjoyed it. I'm simply going to have to accept that shows like Spring Awakening are the future of Broadway. Lush, "happily-ever-after" musicals a la Rogers and Hammerstein don't fly with the younger generation and big-budget spectacles like the epics created by Andrew Lloyd Webber simply can't get staged for economic reasons. For the theater to flourish it needs to adapt and change with the times: that means more "cross branding" (the endless Disney musicals and "juke box" spectaculars) or shows that cost less to produce.
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FINAL GRADE: B-

Giving Thanks

I couldn't think of a better image for a post about "giving thanks" than an image called Giving Thanks. That being said--on with the thankfest!
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Last Sunday morning our Minister Rev. Jim Hickman gave a sermon called "Just Say Thank You." I found it to be particularly interesting since I'm a big believer in saying "thank you" when someone does something nice for me (at least usually). Still, I think it's a good thing to publicly thank those people who have particularly impacted my life this year--or who just need thanking!
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First and foremost I need to thank Robyn: thank you my dearest love for all that you do--for all that you are--for putting up with me when I'm at my worst. Because of you I am a better and happier person. You make my world a better, happier place to me. I love you more today than the day I met you.
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The rest of these "thank yous" are in no particular order (so please don't feel slighted if your thank you comes later rather than sooner...)
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Thanks to my Sisters, Wanda, Jane, Andrea and Tanya for putting up with me and supporting me. My wish for the future is that we would be closer as a family. Thanks also to Alison Young and Andrea Pitzenbarger. You are my "sisters from another Mister and I an truly blessed to have you in my life.
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Thanks to Eris Young for giving me hope in the next generation.
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Thanks to Angela Rosser and the Corona UMC Choir for putting up with my s--- at rehearsals. Thanks to her daughter Victoria for NOT beaning me every time I call her "Whatsit" (because I always keep spacing on her name!) Thanks to Doug Crouse for singing with the group so I have someone to follow. Thanks to Margaret Crouse for being a friend and mentor to Robyn. Thanks to Guy Parks for being as big a distraction as I am and thanks to Janet Parks and Mary Lou Andrews for all their kind words when I force my singing on an unsuspecting audience.
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Thanks to Sarah Palin for penning the best fantasy of the year.
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Thanks to everyone involved with the Star Trek reboot: I loved the old stuff but your reinvention has brought something wonderful to an old favorite and made me remember why I loved the series so much.
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Thanks to the makers of "V" for making an endless crapfest concept into something actually watchable (and making me suspend my disbelief in the face of all the obvious questions that rise from the concept.)
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Thanks to Straight No Chaser for reminding me that good thing come from the strangest circumstances.
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Thanks to everyone at Cardinale Way VW/Hyundai for making our first purchase of a brand new car such an easy thing. (And thanks also to "Madame Gres" for being such a good car.)
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Thanks to Wendy for the apology: it meant more than you'll ever know. Thanks also to "Little" John Pyle, his son Jason and their family for taking the albatross from around Robyn's neck. Thanks to Aunt Sharon Pyle for making us welcome into their home so often.
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Thanks to Facebook for allowing me to reconnect with old friends in a new way. Love you Terra!
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Thanks to my friends in Elysium, the "Legion" games and I-T for putting up with me this past year. My "writer's block" and emotional upheavals probably caused you all no end of annoyance. I truly appreciate your understanding and support. Thanks especially to my e-Sisters "Jana", "Tigger" and "Dragon" for all the support they've given me in the past year.
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Thanks to all the nameless individuals out there who showed us kindness and went the extra mile for a stranger. I only hope that one day the same comes to you.
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Thanks to all of you who took a few minutes to drop in and take a look at my blog. I hope I've made you smile a bit or maybe think.
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Last, but certainly not least, Thanks to God for the many blessings in my life, continued good health and all the good things that have come my way. I am blessed and humbled by the bounty that has been given me.
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I wish the same for you.

Nothing "New" Under This Moon

I needed an image for my review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon and, frankly, I didn't feel the movie was GOOD enough to merit the creation of something new. So I had to dig through my catalog of existing images to find one that fits in some way, shape or form. In the end I chose Exotic Cross because the green background hearkens to the Pacific Northwest where much of the movie is set: also there is a cross/vampire connection that should be pretty obvious to anyone who reads this blog. (Weirdly enough though, crosses don't come into play at all in this movie.) So, on with the review!
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I guess Twilight came out about this time last year. Several friends (all female) had raved about the series and said the series was a "must" read. So I tried reading the book--and couldn't force myself through the endless teen angst and longing looks that never seemed to resolve itself into much of anything. Robyn (who generally reads EVERYTHING cover-to-cover didn't make it through the book either. So I wasn't expecting much from the movie--and I didn't get much either. A dull script, lackluster acting and sub-par FX. Still, there were plenty of people in the audience who loved, Loved, LOVED it! They got what they wanted out of the movie--even as it left a critical old coot like me cold. (I ended up giving it the first "split grade" in my reviewing career--one for fans and the other for the rest of us.)
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New Moon as the same song, second verse. "True" Fans (which I am not one) will love the movie but I found it worse than the original--if only because everyone involved aimed so low and failed to raise their game the slightest. Yes, there's a bit more action so the movie isn't a total snoozefest but the FX are still way below par for a movie of this nature. (HBO has effects at least as good on True Blood.) Worse, there's a lot of stuff left out of the script that made me go "huh" several times as confusing things happened. Jake, the shirtless werewolf, was pretty enough I suppose but I couldn't work up a lot of sympathy for him (or anybody else in the movie except the hapless Dad lost in a world he couldn't comprehend.)
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For me the movie seemed like some kind of weird, and vaguely unpleasant allegory for an abusive relationship. The hapless woman has to chose between two unhealthy relationships--neither of which are good for her--but ends up going for the greater of two evils. Yes, I know love will triumph in the end (this is fiction after all) but I just can't suspend my disbelief long enough see it happening. Still, the die-hard fans will keep eating it up. There's something in this drek that touches them deep inside (in an unhealthy way) that I simply don't get. For both Robyn and I, we're done with the Twilight franchise: we'll leave it to those who appreciate it.
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FINAL GRADE: D-

Disaster Epic Is (Almost) Epic Disaster

Fractals are the ultimate in order since they are endless pattern repetitions spinning out into infinity. Calling a fractal Chaos Emergent seems like an oxymoron--but this image with it's lightning-like lines and pieces falling apart seems fitting for a review of a movie about the end of the review. Yes, I'm finally getting around to writing my review of 2012.
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Disaster flicks have evolved their own formula: doesn't matter what causes the destruction you pretty much know what's going to happen from the moment you buy your ticket. 2012 may well be the ultimate disaster flick considering the multiple threads that all crash into one gigantic orgy of mass destruction. Director Roland Emmerich is the uncrowned "King" of Duster Movies (having made a bunch) so there was nobody better suited to make this movie.
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The plot jumps off from the end of the Mayan Calendar which takes place December 21, 2012: I could write a whole BOOK about that and the hysteria it caused but I REFUSE to devote space to downright stupid hysteria. Suffice it to say some fuzzy science is used to explain the destruction of Earth. World governments have secretly begun a program to save at least part of humanity while an ordinary family struggles to survive on their own. At least the script avoids SOME of the cliches so common to disaster flicks (a nice surprise) but the script is so big and bloated it makes it hard to root for anybody (and at two and a half hours the movie runs way too long!).
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Still, you don't watch movies like this for PLOT--you turn your brain off at the door and enjoy the special effects. And the FX are nothing short of spectacular. There's a certain sense of "scheidenfreude" watching the destruction of Los Angeles (again!), Washington DC and Saint Peter's Square (even while you simply ignore the cinematic "deaths" of literally MILLIONS of people on the sidelines.) The destruction scenes whether they be volcanoes or earthquakes are utterly spectacular and are almost enough to make you forget the utter lameness of the rest of the movie. The actors (most of whom I didn't recognize) did a good job with what little they were given so I guess I can forgive them.
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FINAL GRADE
SPECIAL EFFECTS: A++
THE REST OF THE MOVIE: F-

This Parade Has DEFINITELY Passed By

Try as I might I couldn't find an image to go with today's commentary. In the end I chose Indian Summer--mainly because the parade happened on one of those perfect "Indian summer" days (and because you can't really have cowboys without Indians). So--on with the rant.
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You really have to be careful when you are revisiting childhood memories: the reality simply can't match up to the burnished glow of the past. (If the bad stuff isn't magnified out of proportion it tends to fade into the background thanks to the glow of nostalgia.) I had this lesson brought back to me when Robyn and I attended the 53rd Annual Cattle Call Parade in Brawley California this past weekend (November 14).
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The parade is barely-younger than I am and before I left Imperial County to make my adult life I went every year. When I was very young my Dad was involved with the Westmorland Chamber of Commerce and he often headed their float building projects. (Most of the time he would drive the float as well and I'd ride in the pickup cab with him. I remember one float he built that was half-contemporary patio (complete with working fountain!) and half Old West Covered Wagon: I think it won the Sweepstakes Trophy that year. I remember the costumed riders and the horses dripping with silver tack. I remember the Al-Bahr (sp?) Shriner's unit that seemed to go on and on with the parade of clowns, motorcycle riders and the centipede filled with old dudes in fezzes. I remember bands who came from all over Southern California and Western Arizona to march and play. As an older child I often rode in the Parade with one club or another through high school. Of course then I graduated and looked to broader horizons--and put the Cattle Call behind me with the other things of childhood.
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Still, as I grew older I found that I missed the things of my childhood and wanted to go back and experience the simple pleasures of a small-town festival: when my sister Wanda invited us down to attend Cattle Call (and we had something else we needed to do in the Valley) we decided to go. The morning of the parade dawned clear and breezy: there was a bit of an autumn chill in the air but the promise of a warm day was in the air and the sky was the color of denim lapis from horizon to horizon--something you'll only see in the desert Southwest. I was pretty sure the best viewing spots would fill up early so we arrived tow hours before the start of the festivities--only to find most everything had already been staked out. (We heard people had started setting up chairs and even pavilions as early as Thursday to assure their spots.) Still, we found a place on the sunny side of the street and settled in to wait for the show to begin.
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Boy was I disappointed.
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The band from my alma mater Brawley Union High School was frankly BAD (and I didn't even like their new uniforms). There was no drill team (although maybe they had been dragooned into carrying banners announcing the various Divisions and prize-winning entries. There was only one rider in silver tack (although he was pretty spectacular). Kudos to the Winchester Widows and the Hold-In-The-Wall Gang for keeping the tradition of costumed riders alive. Still, I missed the Desert Dolls, the Barbara Worth Brigadettes and the Galloping Gossips--all Imperial Valley instutitions) who didn't put in an appearance. I know the Brigadettes are still in existence (my niece is a member): why the shocking lack of community spirit? Has it gotten so expensive you can't scrape together enough cash to honor the place that birthed you? How sad you all chose not to participate for whatever reason.
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The rest of the units were bands from local schools (with the exception of a band from Chula Vista) and floats that looked like they'd been slapped together. (I said of the Sweepstakes Trophy winner "that one isn't sad--just kind of unhappy.") Most of the kids riding floats didn't even look like they wanted to be there--the way I felt as the endless parade of sub-par clopped on and on for nearly two hours. I was actually had to see the finally entry come down main street so I could finally leave.
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And so I put one more childhood memory to bed once and for all: unless I'm asked back to ride in the Parade as an honored guest (not likely!) I won't be attending the parade again. The parade had a good run but it's time to let it go the way of the Dinosaurs if the community can't muster up any more support for this venerable institution.
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'nuff said.

This "Christmas Carol" A Feast For The Eyes (If Not The Soul)

A review of Disney's A Christmas Carol requires something Christmas-y. Since I pretty much used up every Chirstmas-themed fractal I created in older posts I decided to make a new image: therefor I give you Christmas Wreath '09 (since there was already another image with that title). Enjoy it as you read the review.
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A Christmas Carol was written by Charles Dickens way back in 1841 but it has stood the test of time and been re-made time and time again since the author first did readings in Victorian England and America. It has been remade for the big and small screen at least a dozen times (and that doesn't count movies "based" on the story like Scrooged). As a matter of fact Disney has gone to this particular well at least once previously (with Mickey's Christmas Carol in 1983). That version was "hand drawn" animation but their latest entry has gone The Polar Express route with computer animation.
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The good news is that this Christmas Carol looks MUCH BETTER than The Polar Express: the bad news--the process still isn't perfect (especially with secondary characters). Still, the film has a look that is nothing short of fantastic that should be seen on the big screen (the bigger the better in fact!) A lot of the shots are literally breathtaking (and could never be done live). When the animators take time, the Characters don't look like animated wax dolls, Sadly, only the leads get this treatment--secondary characters still look like video-game avatars (albeit good ones).
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I won't bother to review the plot for you here: unless you've been living under a rock you know the story... This Christmas Carol has all the scene (including a bit that has never made it into any other filmed or televised version of the story) and much of the dialog is transferred word-for-word from the original. (In my book that's definitely a good thing--and speaks well to the power and relevance of the original work>)
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Frankly I was less than impressed when I heard that Jim Carry would be providing several voices for the film (Scrooge at all ages and all three Ghosts) because he is notorious for taking things way, Way, WAY over the top. Here he keeps his performance low-key (for the most part) delivering Scrooge's lines completely straight and without a hint of smirk. OF course there is some physical comedy: it wouldn't be a Jim Carry movie without that (and it works in the context of the story and medium). Gary Oldman (Bob Cratchitt), Bob Hoskins (Fezzywig), Colin Firth (Fred) and Robin Wright-Penn (Fran) also lend their voices in small roles as does Cary Elwes.
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If I had any complaint regarding this Christmas Carol it would be the needless insertion of "action" sequences (no doubt stuck in the "pump up the volume" even as it dumbs down the story). Yes, it was cute to see the flyovers of London (at least the first time) but by the third it got a bit "ho-hum". Yet their was an extended sequence where a shrunken Scrooge flees (what I called) the Coach Devour that so completely DID NOT belong in the story that it completely pulled my head out of the movie. (Robyn liked that part better than me.)
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So in conclusion: is this a worth effort? Yes! Is it a Christmas Carol for the ages? No. This is hardly a perfect effort but the movie has a lot going for it--and it could well become part of family Christmas traditions for years to come. Everyone, but the smallest children (at least those who are easily frightened) would enjoy seeing it.
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FINAL GRADE: B+

"V" Is For "Verisimilitude"

A comment on a series about space aliens requires something with a star theme I think. "V" is about aliens coming to Earth so Starshower seemed like an appropriate image for this commentary.
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Anyone who reads this blog knows I'm an unabashed Science Fiction fan (not quite to capital-letter Fandom but close). I want Science Fiction to succeed on the big screen: more than that I want good S.F. to succeed. That's why I was so uncertain when I found out that somebody had the idea to resurrect the "classic" series "V" and bring it back to television.
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"V" began life nearly a generation ago as a pair of big-budget miniseries and later became a TV series. After a year the franchise came to an ignominious end--crushed under the weight of production expense and the sheer cheese on screen. Still, the show was loaded with eighties hotties so tasty you could eat them with a spoon (and whatever happened to Jane Badler and Marc Singer anyway?) and pretty darn good FX (at least for TV at that time). With the success of Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi Channel (now SyFy) decided to bring back another classic.
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The basic premise hasn't changed: "friendly" aliens from a distant planet show up on Earth and make nice. The visitors are welcomed with open arms but the alien visitors have sinister intentions. (In the original series the Visitors were using Earth as a gigantic cattle ranch.) Most (if not all) of the old characters have been jettisoned or re-imagined to the point that I didn't recognize them. The FX are top notch and the show is both well written and acted, I found the many intertwining story arcs and characters to be interesting.
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I wanted to like the show--and I was captured while I was watching it--but then the show ended and it came completely unraveled (for me at least: the TV viewing public game "V" super high ratings). A program like this requires verisimilitude (which is to say it has a sense of truth. The viewer has to have a sense of "yeah, that could happen": they must willing suspend their disbelief. As for me--I could never quite manage that no matter how hard I tried.
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My big complaint is this: why could a group of aliens who have the ability to safely travel interstellar distances (which would require impressive technology even for "generation" ships) NEED to use subterfuge to conquer humanity? And--while I'm on the subject of wondering things--why do the aliens use Earth-type guns with bullets? (Surely they'd have something more advanced...) Why was it that an entire FLEET of truly gigantic spaceships escape ANY kind of detection as they approached Earth? Was there some sort of reaction by government bodies? (Honestly, I can't see Military types all over the globe simply letting these things drop in without some sort of challenge...) I can swallow (or at least ignore) a lot of things (remember verisimilitude?) but these things simply bug me beyond all reason!
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Will these questions be addressed in the context of the series? I don't know: I hope so. Still, I'll keep watching the show--for a while at least. And I'll keep hoping for the best even as I fear the worst...
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'nuff said.