Disaster Epic Is (Almost) Epic Disaster

Fractals are the ultimate in order since they are endless pattern repetitions spinning out into infinity. Calling a fractal Chaos Emergent seems like an oxymoron--but this image with it's lightning-like lines and pieces falling apart seems fitting for a review of a movie about the end of the review. Yes, I'm finally getting around to writing my review of 2012.
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Disaster flicks have evolved their own formula: doesn't matter what causes the destruction you pretty much know what's going to happen from the moment you buy your ticket. 2012 may well be the ultimate disaster flick considering the multiple threads that all crash into one gigantic orgy of mass destruction. Director Roland Emmerich is the uncrowned "King" of Duster Movies (having made a bunch) so there was nobody better suited to make this movie.
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The plot jumps off from the end of the Mayan Calendar which takes place December 21, 2012: I could write a whole BOOK about that and the hysteria it caused but I REFUSE to devote space to downright stupid hysteria. Suffice it to say some fuzzy science is used to explain the destruction of Earth. World governments have secretly begun a program to save at least part of humanity while an ordinary family struggles to survive on their own. At least the script avoids SOME of the cliches so common to disaster flicks (a nice surprise) but the script is so big and bloated it makes it hard to root for anybody (and at two and a half hours the movie runs way too long!).
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Still, you don't watch movies like this for PLOT--you turn your brain off at the door and enjoy the special effects. And the FX are nothing short of spectacular. There's a certain sense of "scheidenfreude" watching the destruction of Los Angeles (again!), Washington DC and Saint Peter's Square (even while you simply ignore the cinematic "deaths" of literally MILLIONS of people on the sidelines.) The destruction scenes whether they be volcanoes or earthquakes are utterly spectacular and are almost enough to make you forget the utter lameness of the rest of the movie. The actors (most of whom I didn't recognize) did a good job with what little they were given so I guess I can forgive them.
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FINAL GRADE
SPECIAL EFFECTS: A++
THE REST OF THE MOVIE: F-