I needed an image for my review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon and, frankly, I didn't feel the movie was GOOD enough to merit the creation of something new. So I had to dig through my catalog of existing images to find one that fits in some way, shape or form. In the end I chose Exotic Cross because the green background hearkens to the Pacific Northwest where much of the movie is set: also there is a cross/vampire connection that should be pretty obvious to anyone who reads this blog. (Weirdly enough though, crosses don't come into play at all in this movie.) So, on with the review!-
I guess Twilight came out about this time last year. Several friends (all female) had raved about the series and said the series was a "must" read. So I tried reading the book--and couldn't force myself through the endless teen angst and longing looks that never seemed to resolve itself into much of anything. Robyn (who generally reads EVERYTHING cover-to-cover didn't make it through the book either. So I wasn't expecting much from the movie--and I didn't get much either. A dull script, lackluster acting and sub-par FX. Still, there were plenty of people in the audience who loved, Loved, LOVED it! They got what they wanted out of the movie--even as it left a critical old coot like me cold. (I ended up giving it the first "split grade" in my reviewing career--one for fans and the other for the rest of us.)
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New Moon as the same song, second verse. "True" Fans (which I am not one) will love the movie but I found it worse than the original--if only because everyone involved aimed so low and failed to raise their game the slightest. Yes, there's a bit more action so the movie isn't a total snoozefest but the FX are still way below par for a movie of this nature. (HBO has effects at least as good on True Blood.) Worse, there's a lot of stuff left out of the script that made me go "huh" several times as confusing things happened. Jake, the shirtless werewolf, was pretty enough I suppose but I couldn't work up a lot of sympathy for him (or anybody else in the movie except the hapless Dad lost in a world he couldn't comprehend.)
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For me the movie seemed like some kind of weird, and vaguely unpleasant allegory for an abusive relationship. The hapless woman has to chose between two unhealthy relationships--neither of which are good for her--but ends up going for the greater of two evils. Yes, I know love will triumph in the end (this is fiction after all) but I just can't suspend my disbelief long enough see it happening. Still, the die-hard fans will keep eating it up. There's something in this drek that touches them deep inside (in an unhealthy way) that I simply don't get. For both Robyn and I, we're done with the Twilight franchise: we'll leave it to those who appreciate it.
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FINAL GRADE: D-
2 comments:
I couldn't even get into the books in the series. I felt they were completely lame, and any human (or vampire) with that much angst and trauma drama in their lives wouldn't survive for very long. Anne Rice, and Charlaine Harris, are FAR better at it. The rookies should leave vampires to the pros like those two women, and go back to playing in their sandboxes.
Having never gotten into Twilight in the first place, I'll take your word for it. There are a couple of books I've tried to read that were drag-fests, and there is simply too much good material out there to waste time on the bad!
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