Let's Play "Post Awful"

Today’s post begins with a fractal called ALL AMERICAN. I picked it because there is nothing more “all-American” than the United States Postal Service: the image has a lot of red, is pointy and aggressive--just like I feel right now. Here’s the story of my protracted adventure trying to find what happened to a missing package…
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The adventure began Saturday November 3: I was out with the Titian-haired, ever luscious Robyn running our weekend errands. When we got home we found a little peach-colored card from the Post Office letting me know they were unable to deliver a parcel since a signature was required. I had the option of picking it up at the Post Office (some distance away, not easily gotten to) or requesting a re-delivery. Re-delivery seemed the best option so I promptly called 1-800 ASK-USPS and was directed into “Voice Mail Hell”. About 55 punches later (the tune was a rough approximation of “I Want To Rock and Roll All Night and Party Every Day” by Kiss) I learned that I needed to make said request with a LIVE OPERATOR (and the national office had already closed for the weekend).
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So I called back before 6:00 AM Monday morning and got through to a real person after another telephone keypad rendition of “I Want To Rock and Roll All Night and Party Every Day”: since I hadn’t called before 2:00 AM PST time I couldn’t get the package until Tuesday. (Never mind the fact that I needed to make the request through a live persona nd they were CLOSED unitl 5:00 AM PST Monday!!!) Tuesday came and Tuesday went and there was no package. My “regular” mail arrived but nary a sign of the errant parcel. I dialed the “800” number yet again (“I Want To Rock and Roll All Night and Party Every Day”) around 4:00 PM only to be told “we have until 5:00 PM your time to deliver the package. If you haven’t gotten it by then you’ll have to call back to schedule a re-delivery.” Then they hung up on me.
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SO--I called back at 5:01 PM and a nice lady took my re-delivery request--promising the package would be delivered the following day. Wednesday came--my regular mail arrived but no parcel! At 5:00 PM I made yet another call to their “help” (ha!) line. (By now I was getting pretty good at playing “I Want to Rock and Roll All Night…” on the telephone keypad so I was able to add some seriously wicked “air guitar“ moves to it.) This time a kid who sounded like he might have been 16 (at most) said he’d request another re-delivery!
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I told him “no” that WAS NOT an option. (“Sir--you don’t have to yell at me!” That’s not yelling kid!!!) “Isn’t there anything else I can do?” I asked as this annoying little twerp was fraying my last nerve. “Well--I suppose you could file a complaint… Someone who can help you will get back to you within one business day . . .” I readily agreed.
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This afternoon (11/8) I got a phone call form someone at my local P.O. We went through everything yet again and I gave the man on the other end of the line all the info I had. Sadly, I had everything but what he really needed to help me! (My Postal Carrier hadn’t bothered to write the “Tracking Number” on the card she left me--thus making my package untraceable. Later in the day another gentleman called me back so I told the story yet again! At least he had a helpful suggestion: call the company I’d ordered the item from and see if they had the elusive Tracking Number on file. (They didn’t.) At least he gave me a local number to call them so I didn’t have to deal with the “800” number--although I must confess to a certain sadness about not being able to do my “air guitar” moves one more time. (BTW--this Yahoo had to look up the phone number of the office he was working in.)
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Without a Tracking Number he can’t help me: the package is gone and they have no idea when/if it will re-appear. It may have been shipped back to the point of origin or it may have gone back into the mail stream--and from there it could have gone anywhere. My package may or may not re-appear at some time in the future--at this point it's anybody's guess...
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If there is a bright spot in this tragic tale it is this: at least I don’t have to pay for the item the "Post Awful" lost. If the package fails to show up here by November 14 (I wanted it by November 10) the company will re-ship me a new one at no additional charge. Hopefully the “Post Awful” will be more careful with this one because if they don't I'm afraid I'll have a meltdown. (I'd make a joke here about "disgruntled postal employees" here but it would probably get me in trouble.)
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Still, I find myself well and truly frustrated with the USPS. If my mail carrier had done her job properly in the first place there wouldn’t have been a problem. Their “800” number is less-than-helpful and some of the staff couldn’t care less about helping those who call for assistance. It’s no wonder Fed Ex and UPS are getting more and more business. Still they keep raising our rates: if this is an example of how well the USPS does there job on a regular basis they'd have been "out of business" a long time ago if they'd been a Corporation. Here’s hoping I don’t have to deal with the “Post Awful” again any time in the near future--say the next ten years or so…

Strange Bedfellows

You have to follow my chain of reasoning for choosing today’s fractal, CRAZY QUILT. But, once you hear my reasons I think you’ll find it makes perfect sense! A quilt is (usually) a bed covering: politics makes for strange bedfellows and this political pairing is strange--one might even say crazy! (See what I mean? It makes great sense!)
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I just heard a bit news that literally dropped my jaw--so much so that I feel like I needed to “blog” about it! Ultraconservative Televangelist Pat Robertson just announced he is endorsing Rudy Guiliani in the 2008 Presidential election. Why is this so odd? Guiliani is a political moderate--pro “Choice” and in favor of gay rights legislation. Robertson (who once said “Liberal judges are more dangerous to the United States than a few bearded terrorists flying airplanes into skyscrapers”) has political leanings somewhere to the right of Atilla the Hun.
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Any political observer worth their salt should be asking themselves “what’s up with this?” Is Robertson and his pals in the Christian Right mellowing their stance on abortion and gay rights? (Yeah right!) Does Robertson think he can “persuade” Guiliani to harden his stance on key issues? (Today’s politics demands a lot of “quid pro quo” so this seems highly likely to me.) Maybe it is simply the fact that Robertson feels Guilani has the best chance to win against Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. Why didn’t Robertson go with Mitt Romney who has values right in line with the Christian Right? (Romney is a practicing Mormon, definitely not what Pat Robertson would call a “good” Christian but Guliani is a self-confessed adulterer and much-married. Such a choice for a Christian to have to make!)
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Personally, I think Robertson went with Rudy Guiliani for one reason and one reason alone. He thinks Guiliani can WIN! I don’t respect Robertson’s political views but I always believed he was committed to his concept of Christianity (however warped I think it might be). But with this move Robertson has sold out his own values and proven himself just to be another politico wrapping himself in the Bible to achieve his own ends. Whatever his reasoning, I’m sure this latest development will make for an interesting Presidential race in 2008.

Errata

No fractal today, just a quick correction. In my post I LOVE THE SMELL OF SCANDAL IN THE MORNING (November 2) I mistakenly referred to failed candidate LT. BILL HUNT as MIKE HUNT. I checked the name on several Internet sources and I still missed it. Many apologies for the mistake.

"Dogging" the Bounty Hunter

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Atomblast. I picked it because Dwayne “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman did something that may well cause his career to implode after dropping the “N Bomb” several times in a recorded conversation. After watching the story play out for several days I finally decided I needed to put in my two cents.
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All Americans seen to love to raise folk up on a pedestal--and we love it just as much when our newly-created idols come crashing down. The most recent case of this is Dwayne “Dog” Chapman. He was a bounty hunter who parlayed several high-profile captures (chief among them Andrew Luster--an heir to the “Max Factor“ cosmetics fortune and multiple rapist) into a reality show on the “A&E” Channel. He was portrayed as a compassionate badass--a family man who prayed for his targets before he took them in. He was big on sermonizing to the perps--and even reputedly promised to keep in touch and help set them on the straight-and-narrow once they’d done their time.
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The show was hugely popular (at least by “basic cable” standards) and everything seemed to be going great until the National Enquirer got hold of a taped phone call between Dwayne and his son Tucker in which the famous bounty hunter repeatedly used the “N-word”. It seems the “N-word” is tossed around with regularity at the Chapman house: “Dog” was afraid that Tucker’s black girlfriend would report this and cause their “whole career to come crashing down”. Chapman said it wasn’t a racial slur but a comment on the girl’s character.
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This is just wrong on every level! Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t feel anyone should be tossing around the “N-word” lightly. When blacks use the word it gives racist whites the impetus to misuse it. The word doesn’t elevate anyone’s moral character and it only serves to raise bad feelings. A&E was shocked, shocked! that one of their stars had used such language (like their Production Crew had never heard him use the word while they were with him) and put Dog the Bounty Hunter on indefinite suspension. Chapman apologized for his use of the word (and had the good sense not to go on an “Apologymania“ Tour like Don Imus) but it doesn’t seem to have done him any good.
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But here’s the part of the story that amazes more than anything else--and doesn’t seem to be getting much play. Chapman’s son Tucker was the one who sold the tape to the Enquirer--not only selling out his father but his entire family! Tucker Chapman has been keeping a very low profile lately-- I’m sure nobody wonders why? (unless maybe he‘s afraid his Dad will kick his candy ass). Still, I’d love to hear his justification for this: was he blinded by love? Did he feel he needed to expose his father for the sake of justice? (yeah right!) Or was he just a gigantic brat who wanted to get back at his father for getting in his business? Honestly, I don’t know and I doubt I ever will. I’m just amazed that this kid could betray his family like that. Still, family betrayal is nothing new: the kid had to learn it from somewhere--and he very likely learned it from watching his parents in action.
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Will the “Political Correctness” Police manage to nail Dwayne “Dog” Chapman for good and all? I don’t know: a lot of people seem to think the whole thing is just a bit overblown (as do I--yet still I‘m blogging about it . . .) Still, it’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out--especially with the writer’s strike (but more about that later). I’ll certainly be watching . . .

I Love the Smell of "Scandal" in the Morning

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Coronal. I picked it because the title is almost an anagram for Carona--the last name of our current Orange County Sherriff. I know the connection is tenuous at best but it’s the best I could do for this one.
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Mike Carona is a third-term Sherriff here in the OC, popular with the public and a master of public relations. He somehow managed to get himself tagged as “America’s Sherriff”--thanks to the high profile Samantha Runyon child-abduction, rape and murder case. He is also a big-time politician, well-connected in the county and state Republican party. Sadly, he is also not above using his office to punish anyone who dared oppose him in an election.
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By this I’m talking about the 2006 election in which Sherriff’s Deputy Lt. Mike Hunt had the temerity to run against Carona. Carona had the blessings of the Orange County (and maybe even the state-wide) Republican political machine but Hunt still challenged him. Carona considered this “disloyal” and fought all the harder to get re-elected (even though he had promised to limit himself to two terms). After “America’s Sherriff” handily won that election Carona promptly moved to demote Lt. Hunt and removed him from his cushy post within the Sherriff’s Department. (NOTE: what Sherriff Carona did was completely legal: he was within his rights to make the move. Ethically--that’s another story. His decision was widely questioned by many.)
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So--why am I dragging up something that was over-and-done two years ago? Simple--Mike Hunt accused Sherriff Carona of “peddling favors” to his major contributors--favors like giving his supporters concealed weapon permits (outside of standard legal channels), appointing cronies to political positions then giving them and their families special treatment when they had legal trouble. (The OC Sherriff’s Department severely botched the rape case against Greg Haidl and two others: Greg Haidl is the son of former OC Assistant Sherriff Don Haidl--a former "close friend" and political appointee of Carona’s.) Around the same time Assistant Sherriff George Jaramillo (another former friend of the Sherriff) was indicted on a number of charges, Both Haidl and Jaramillo were eventually charged and convicted. During his investigation, Jaramillo alleged the Sherrif's hands were none too clean either. Wednesday October 31, Sherriff Mike Carona, his wife Deborah and alleged "long-time mistress" Debra Hoffman were all indicted on Federal Corruption charges. (FUL LITTLE ASIDE: Debra Hoffman was the former law partner of George Jaramillo.)
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Sherriff Carona “vehemently denies” all charges (of course) and says that he is “looking forward” to defending himself in court where he expect to be “fully exonerated’ once he “explains” his side of the story. (Right now at least) his bigwig Republican allies are fully supporting him. (We‘ll see what happens as time goes on and more info comes out.) Is he guilty? I don’t know: I believe that he is an arrogant, vengeful man who has made a number of “questionable” ethical decisions in his career but that doesn't necessarily make him guilty. The Department of Justice conducted a long investigation and a Grand Jury believed there was enough evidence to charge him. I have to assume the Feds have something more than the word of a couple of convicted felons on which to base their case--but we’ll never know until trial, will we? Even if he isn’t found guilty the Sherriff’s reputation will be tainted for a very long time to come and I doubt Carona will be supported for higher political on the state or national level. I’ll be watching this one closely to see how it all plays out in the end. It should be--very interesting! God, I love the smell of “scandal” in the morning!

I Married a "Crypto-Republican"

I picked today’s fractal, Ryngs, because it looked a bit like an abstraction of a pair of wedding rings. As you have no doubt seen by the title, this post involves me and my missus so the image seemed singularly apropos. Ah well--on with the rant!
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Every family has at least one shameful secret. Last week I discovered mine. Yes, I thought the love of my life was committed to “center-left” values--but no! I found out last week that I married a Crypto-Republican!
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How did I discover this, you ask? It happened like this…
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My nephew Glenn Keskey (whom I call “Glenn-Bob” for reasons unknown even to me) sent me an e-mail that provided a tool to help you select your presidential candidate. Yes, it’s very early to start thinking about who do vote for in 2008 (even though the California Primary is coming up in four months) so time marches ever onward. It’s not too early to start thinking about this: more than any election in the past 30 years, this one is particularly important.
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Check out this link to take the test. (http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460 ) You will be asked questions about your opinions on Iraq, immigration, the Republican-sponsored tax cuts of 2001 and 2003, Stem-Cell research, universal health care, abortion, the privatization of Social Security, the Line-Item Veto, alternate energy, same-sex marriage and the death penalty. You will also asked to assess the importance of each issue. When completed the computer will figure out which candidate most-closely matches your positions.
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I took the quiz and found, to my complete surprise that my candidate-of choice is Dennis Kucinich (with a score of 46), John Edwards (42) and Chris Dodd (39). Unfortunately, none of these candidates have a hope in hell of winning the Democratic Party nomination--much less the next election. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton both come in at 36 and Rudy Guiliani with a score of 32. (Mitt Romney was next in line at 17.)
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Robyn took the same test and we discovered her candidate was John McCain! Of course, her match was only 32 (I assume out of a possible 100). The quiz we both took isn’t completely accurate: for example she found John McCain disagreed with her on many of the most important issues of this campaign. (I wish I’d gotten the rest of her scores but I didn’t think to do that).
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Later (10/27) Robyn re-took the test wit a lot of input from me: this time she came out with results much closer to what I had (Kucinich, Edwards and Dodd--although with much less emphasis.) Did I brow-beat her into changing her opinions or did I simply encourage her to really think about the questions rather than going with her gut instincts? I don’t know and, honestly I’m not sure Robyn really does either. I guess we’ll never really know.
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What I do know for certain is this: the 2008 Presidential election (now barely more than a year away) may well be the most important vote in my lifetime. I know a lot of voters aren’t as well-informed as they should be: they vote with their guts or are swayed by expensive advertising campaigns and don’t take the time to think what that vote means to them and the country.
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The President can’t make a lot of changes on his own--even if his party controls congress. However, the next President may be asked to appoint as many as five Supreme Court Justices. Right now the court is almost equally divided between “conservatives” and “moderates”. Continuing this would pretty much leave in tact a lot of laws we have been dealing with for thirty or more years. A shift to conservative Justices would dismantle a lot of laws we’ve been living with for thirty years or more--chief among them Roe-v-Wade. These decisions will affect us all directly so participating in the voting process is important.
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For all of our sakes I hope you make the right decision.

Scenes From a Smoky Day

Today’s post begins with a fractal image called Fire Flower. I picked it because it made me think about what I was writing. What follows are two scenes from what I experienced on a smoky Wednesday (October 24) . I am nowhere near any of the fires burning in Southern California but our neighborhood has been seeing the affects all day--the first time that has happened. I couldn’t photograph what I saw so I wanted to paint a word picture. I hope it works. . .
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SEEN ON A SMOKY MORNING
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I feel like I'm living on an alien planet right now or maybe I've somehow wandered into a "Plein Air" painting . . .
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White clouds are feathering the sky like the pinfeathers of an angel's wing against a steel-blue sky. Swirls of red-brown smoke dance in almost paisley-lke precision from horizon to horizon. The rising sun is a burnished brass ball throwing slate-colored shadows behind trees and buildings. Everything is lightly shrouded in mists--and for a moment I am walking through my own waking dream. Leaves on the many trees have taken on an almost metallic quality but the grass and shrubs shine almost like they are lit from within by neon. Yellows and greens shine hotly but oranges and browns look muddy and drab: shades of blue and purple have gone gray and flat. My nose picks up the scent of salt on the breeze: it is the smell of redemption and renewal. I want to cry : I want to sing a dirge but the misty silence enfolds me in a tender embrace so instead I send a prayer to the skies…
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APOCOLYPSE IN THE AFTERNOON
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The sky has become a pale iron-colored bowl overhead and the crimson sun burns feebly, trying to light the day. The still air is hot and thickly-most as it surrounds me in a close, overly-familiar yet still unwanted embrace. Again I walk through dream-created silence but my world is shattered by the sound of helicopters overhead: I cannot see them beneath the imagined shelter of the trees but I find myself imagining a flotilla of gigantic angry beetles.
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I move on down a street that has gone black and white: the pale colors are washed out and the dark ones can hardly be distinguished in the red light of advancing afternoon. Only a few bits of sun-lit new growth shine green and hot against the somber background. Again the peace of my world is shattered by a young man behind the wheel of a red sports car: it almost seems like it is on fire. The powerful engine growls like a feral jungle beast with the music providing a throbbing bass counterpart. Laughter from inside the vehicle echoes off the walls and the sound is hard and cruel. I turn for home glad of sheltering walls...