Tuesday, February 21, 2012

This Means BORE!


I wasn't sure what image I was going to use for today's review.  I thought about Ares (since I'll be chatting about This Means War) but that seemed a bit obvious.  Then I considered maybe something like Blast or Ka-BOOM! since there are so many explosions in the film but that seemed rather obvious as well.  I finally settled on MixIt mainly because the movie tries to mix the action and romance genres.  How well did that work?  You can probably guess from the title.  Ah well--on with the review...
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It must be unbelievably hard to be Reese Witherspoon's character Lauren in This Means War.  Poor thing has had to move from Atlanta to  Los Angeles where she has a job she's both good at and really enjoys not to mention a truly fabulous loft.  Of course, she was cheated on by her oh-so-cute boyfriend and she's down in the dumps.  But that's OK, very soon she meets two cute guys--FDR (played by Chris Pine, AKA Captain Kirk in the latest Star Trek incarnation) and Tuck (Tom Hardy who was in Inception) and hits if off with both of them!  Both guys just happen to be CIA Agents AND best friends and both of them really like her as well!  (They are in the midst of dealing with a murderous arms dealer out to kill both of them.)  Will Lauren choose womanizer FDR who is secretly a wounded puppy inside or Tuck the sweet, sincere divorced dad?  Will the guys have their friendship strained as they both pursue the girl?  Will Heinrich the arms dealer end up capturing the girl to draw the guys to him where she finally chooses the right guy?  You can probably already guess the answers to these questions without even setting foot inside the theater.
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You can probably guess I had some real issues with this movie: it's impossible NOT to love Reese Witherspoon in full-on "cutie-pie" mode but it's a bit annoying when whatever choice she makes is the right one.  Chris Pine has the  "cheeseball womanizer with a heart of gold" part down pat but you have to wonder how tatted-up Brit bad boy Tom Hardy ever got into the CIA!  His character Tuck seems awfully intertwined with FDR's family (he's almost a surrogate brother but that's never explained.)  Still Hardy manages to balance sweet guy and badass with equal finesse.  I also wondered how these supposedly-dedicated Agents could use CIA Spy Tech to spy on Lauren and each other to further their relationship.  The action bits were don well enough but there was nothing particularly new or unusual to be seen.
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Honestly I could have gotten past the clockworks plot but the action and romance never quite mixed (like oil and water).  All the secondary characters exist merely to move the story along and the performances are pretty cardboard.  Yes, it's a nice-enough little movie to enjoy as a bit of an escape but a dip in This Means War won't even get your feet wet.  Not that there's a lot else out there to see (other than Oscar contenders) but you could easily wait until it comes out on video.  Also--if you miss it, you haven't missed much.
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FINAL GRADE C-

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