-
I had the strangest feeling I'd inadvertently time-tripped (again) watching the latest Academy Awards show. Billy Crystal was back for a ninth time (after being gone for I-don't-know-how-many years) and the lion's share of the awards went to a silent movie (The Artist) and a pic about the early days of film (Hugo) and a lot of old poops were up for awards. (Meryl Streep and Christopher Plummer both took home awards.) All in all it was a "nice" show: Crystal's hosting wore like a pair of old brown loafers (comfortable and easy to take but nothing to write home about) and there weren't any controversial moments to talk about. Still, you gotta give him credit for being more animated than James Franco at last year's awards. Yes, I suppose we could mention Streep upsetting Viola Davis to take the Best Actress Oscar but not even that was all to surprising.
-
WHAT I LIKED
Billy Crystal's opening film montage was wildly amusing (and I love the inside joke involving Justin Bieber). He also had the best joke I'd heard in a long time: "nothing eases the pain of these tough economic times like watching millionaires give each other golden statuettes." (It's funny because it's true!) For me the best moment of the whole show happened on the Red Carpet when Sacha Bron Cohen spilled "ashes" all over Ryan Seacrest (who was NOT happy about it!) I also particularly enjoyed Chris Rock commenting on the difficulty of doing animated film and Olivia Spencer's acceptance speech--probably the only truly genuine moment in the whole show.
-
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
Most of the "bits" in the show fell completely flat: Ben Stiller fell flat in his skit with Emma Stone and the filmed bits didn't work at all (I'm thinking of the "focus group" bit). There weren't any "best song" performances and that was a disappoint to me (although probably not a lot of other folk). While I enjoyed the Cirque Du Soleil scene I found myself wondering what the hell it was doing in the show. The speeches were all canned and there wasn't a bit of controversy to spice things up. This year's fashion ranged from pretty good to pretty OK but all the looks had the same basic quality. I found myself longing for a truly bad fashion moment. (The looks were so uniform that the Fashion Police on E! didn't even have a "worst dressed" segment!) Where were Tilda Swinton, Mickey Roarke and Helena Bonham-Carter when we needed them to bring the crazy? Ah well--at least that gives me a transition to talk about what you came to look at the blog for...
-
THE FASHIONS
Jennifer Lopez packed ten pounds of "ah-OO-ga!" into a five-pound dress and was so smoking hot that even gay guys wanted to do her. Of course it helps that she brought a little controversy with the "did she or didn't she?" have a nip-slip. (She didn't. Trust me on this one.) To me she was far and away the best dressed of the night.
-
Cameron Diaz was vanilla fabulousness in her dress while Gwyneth Paltrow wowed in a white column dress and matching cape. Octavia Spencer represented for the big girls in her beaded gown and Penelope Cruz looked amazing in slate blue. Rooney Mara looked like a dominatrix-bride and what was up with the "boob awnings" on her dress. You gotta give Viola Davis credit for showing up in the hair God gave her (instead of her usuall wig): she looked stunning in emerald green.
-
What was up with Angelica Jolie? As usual she looked pretty darn good (this year in basic black) but I couldn't figure out what that pose was all about. Was she trying to be funny? Was she desperate to show off how good her muscle tone was? Did she get a little sumpum-sumpum in the limo on the way over? Was it a lingering case of jungle rot? Inquiring minds want to know! ANYway--Angie's right leg has over 15,000 Twitter followers--way more than J-Los nipple...
-
Michele Williams channeled her inner "lipstick lesbian" in an orange monstrosity that fashionistas went crazy for. Me, I've thought she looked like a pencil with a lace doily around the middle. Natalie Portman was a fashion DON'T in a vintage red-orange polka dot mess. I probably bag on America's sweetheart Sandra Bullock but the black and white thing she was wearing looked like an ill-fitting potato sack. Jessica Chastain looked like she'd stolen the curtains from a Gothic funeral home in her gold-beaded black dress but at least you gotta give her credit for being memorable. I'm not sure what was going on with Kristin Wiig's flesh-toned chiffon-ruffled--THING but I really didn't like it. No guys stood out as exceptionally good OR bad this year.
-
I couldn't comment on this year's fashions without mentioning Melissa McCarthy. The fashionista crowd sandbagged her (as usual) but I liked the romantic blush gown (even if all the bejeweling was a bit much). Still, somebody needs to take that girl and get her hair done!
-
Ratings were up (however slightly) this year but the show just didn't *CLICK!* with viewers and I don't know why. Still, you can bet I'll be back next year with another awards show review.
-
'nuff said.
No comments:
Post a Comment