No "Cookies" Today

Usually I try and bribe my "loyal readers" (ha!) with a fractal cookie for dropping by and reading my random ravings.  Sadly, there will be no cookies this time--for two reasons.  1) I couldn't find a fractal that seemed even remotely appropriate for a review of Wanderlust (and now you know what I'll be talking about) 2) this movie is SO BAD I didn't feel it DESERVED a cookie!  So--on with the review if you aren't completely turned off by the first paragraph...
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I may not be a complete fan of "gross-out" comedies but I have a pretty high tolerance: yes I cringed at movies like American Pie and There's Something About Mary--but frankly I laughed my ass off while I was watching.  Judd Apatow is the uncrowned King of the Gross-Out Comedy: I laughed so hard my face hurt at movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up so I was kind of looking forward to Wanderlust.  Sadly, I was doomed to disappointment.
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The basic plot goes something like this George (Paul Rudd) and Linda (Jennifer Anniston) are a couple of desperate Manhattanites living successful, if unhappy, lives.  When their fortunes change and they lose everything they had off to Atlanta for a job with George's odious brother Rick (Ken Marino--who also shares writing credits for this travesty).  In need of sleep the pair pull off at the Elysium Bed and Breakfast--only to discover they've wandered into an "Intentional Community" (AKA a commune right out of the free-lovin' 1960s.)  George quickly finds he likes the place--but Linda not so much so when things quickly go sour with his brother he takes them back to join the group for good and all.  Now it's Linda who gets into  the groove while George finds himself on the outside looking in.  Add some complications involving the "spiritual center of the group Seth (played by Annistons' real life boyfriend Justin Theroux).  Eventually everything spins out and (almost) everybody gets their happy ending.
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There are many problems with the movie--start with cardboard characters that are none-too-likable and give them a script that's very long on gross and critically short on funny.  (You know you're in bad shape when NOBODY in the entire theater is laughing.)  I found it particularly telling when I'm watching one off the outtakes at the end of the movie where Paul Rudd is doing a bit in a mirror (that is as long and painful as it is unfunny).  He ends up saying "I'm grossing myself out!"  Sorry guy--you grossed us out long ago--and we weren't laughing with you!  There's plenty of full-frontal nudity--but sadly none of it you want to see.  The language is frankly strong (even by my standards and I have a pretty good tolerance for strong language).  Far too many of the situations are cringeworthy--and I could have handled all of that if only the movie had been FUNNY!
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Ordinarily I'd note that I was the only one NOT laughing in the theater (like when I went to see The Hangover) but this time nobody in a half-full theater was laughing.  Don't waste your money on this crap--don't even rent Wanderlust when it comes out on video (probably some time next week).   This isn't the worst movie I've ever seen but it sure comes close.
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FINAL GRADE: F