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I wish more people would make the effort to attend live theater: really, there's no experience like it and most folks would be surprised at how much they enjoyed it. Still, most folks choose not to attend except for very rare occasion--and once they get there they have no idea how to behave. If you read my last post you have some idea of what happened when Robyn and I attended a matinee of Mary Poppins. A lot of bad behavior really marred my enjoyment of the show and it inspired me to offer up some simple suggestions so I don't end up want to snap some idiots neck. Therefor I offer these eight simple rules for enjoying the theater...
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1) KNOW YOUR SHOW TIME AND PLAN ACCORDINGLY
It doesn't take long to search Google Maps or MapQuest to find directions, and more importantly, the approximate time it will take you from your starting point to the final destination. Add in some wiggle room for unexpected happening then leave with enough time to get to the show and find your seats before the sun comes up.
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2) IF YOU DO ARRIVE LATE--ENTER QUIETLY
Things happen even to the best of us and sometimes you are unavoidably late. If it should happen to you--try to go to your seats during a scene change. Nobody paid to see your broad-ass silhouette doing the Gavotte and blocking the action on stage.
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3) IF YOU NEED HELP ASK AN USHER
You passed them on your way in: they are stationed there to help you. Use them.
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4) NO TALKING!!!
We paid big bucks to see (and HEAR) the folks on stage--NOT YOU. If you must talk do so QUIETLY. The first show we attended at the P.A.C. had a couple behind us quacking away in Vietnamese for the entire show. Yes, I imagine one was translating for the other but it was still annoying as all get-out. Modifying your volume control is definitely IN order!
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5) TURN OFF THE ELECTRONICS
If you are a Physician on call or if you on the waiting list for a Kidney I can see keeping your cell phone on (but--PLEASE--for the love of God--set it on vibrate!) Otherwise, disconnect yourself from the electronic world for a while and enjoy the show. Really folks, there isn't a lot you NEED to know or respond to right now! The same goes for texting: the glow from your screen is distracting to the other patrons. We know this is your world we're just living in it--but would it really hurt you to to show a modicum of kindness?
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6-A) IF YOU MUST TAKE A CALL, LEAVE THE THEATER
We don't want to listen to your business eve more than you want us to hear it. Exit the theater quickly and quietly to keep from disturbing the other patrons. (Reference Rule 2!!!)
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7) USE YOUR INTERMISSION TIME CAREFULLY
The Intermission Time (usually 15 minutes) is customarily printed in your program and most theaters will blink lights or sound a chime to let you know Intermission is about to end. If you have to use the restroom do it FIRST: no public venue has enough potties (particularly for women) for the folks who need them. Do what business you need to do then head back to seats before the Second Act. Everyone will be happier that way.
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8) KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SEEING
The theater is no place for an infant or children who can't sit quietly for long periods. (You wouldn't want other people's kids disturbing your experience so kindly return the favor.) Don't complain if you are offended by the content of a show: the Production Staff long-ago learned to put up content warning for their shows if they contain strong language or nudity. You will have been warned to plan accordingly.
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The post may have come across as somewhat snarky but mainly it is about common courtesy (which seems to be in extreme short supply these days). Be considerate of others and hope they will be considerate to you. Really--it's just that simple.
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'nuff said.
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