Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Gazing Into The Crystal Ball: Fall TV 2011

I'm going to try something daringly different for this post.  (Mostly) sight-unseen I'm going to predict the fate of the new shows for television this fall.  Will I have the Star Power (today;s fractal cookie) to accurately predict their fates?  Come back at the end of May 2012 to find out!  So--on with the predictions!
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MONDAY
2 BROKE GIRLS (CBS): comfortably sandwiched between How I Met Your Mother and Two-and-a-Half Men, on one of the network's strongest nights the show has a quirky charm that will endear as many people as it annoys.  I love the fact that Kat Demming (who literally stole Thor from the bigger names) gets a star turn.  FATE: I hope it succeeds but new comedies have a poor track record.  May not survive the season.
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HEART OF DIXIE (CW): the fact that this show is on the CW may well be enough to sink the show.  Still, the weblet has managed to score with a few sex-soaked soaps.  The twist here is the show is set in 1957 Alabama and that may well be what sinks it.  Older folks will love the presence of 80s starlets Ally Sheedy and Phoebe Cates but the much sought-after younger demographic will stay away in droves.  FATE: this heart is transplanted to cancellation-land after one season.
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TERRA NOVA (FOX): a steamy mix of dinosaurs and family drama, this big-budget extravaganza has some big names backing it (including Steven Spielberg).  What I've seen looks first rate but I worry that the ratings won't justify the expensive production costs.  FATE: vanishes into the mists of time after one season.
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THE PLAYBOY CLUB (NBC): if imitation truly is the sincerest form of flattery then the folks over at Mad Men (the little AMC drama that could) should truly be flattered.  Retro-cool seems to be the latest craze on the big networks (and, of course that means that a lot of knock-offs are going to get knocked off).  The Playboy Club might have worked if it were on a cable network (where they could really sex it up) but the tameness required of being on NBC will severely inhibit this show.  FATE: this "Club" closes early.
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TUESDAY
LAST MAN STANDING (ABC): Tim Allen tries to duplicate the success he found on Home Improvement and even gets his old time slot back.  I saw some previews and it looks like H.I.--minus the funny and warmth.  FATE: this show won't be standing at the end of the season.
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MAN UP (ABC): three modern men try to get in touch with their "inner tough guy" in this comedy.  It's a good pairing with Last Man Standing but the previews don't seem all that funny.  FATE: Man Up goes down early.
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NEW GIRL (FOX): I like Zooey Deschanell and I hope she does well with this comedy where she becomes the single girl roommate of a bunch of 20-something guys.  The previews look funny and quirky but Fox doesn't have a good track record with quirky/funny.  FATE: this New Girl doesn't grow old on television.
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UNFORGETTABLE (NBC): a gimmick-y crime drama about a young woman with a trick memory (she can't forget anything and notices everything) who becomes a criminal investigator.  It sounds like a less-funny version of Psych to me.  FATE: Unforgettable is forgotten early.
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WEDNESDAY
FREE AGENTS (NBC): I don't know anything about the show other than that Hank Azaria is one of the stars.  Azaria shines as a supporting player but I don't know if he has what it takes to be a star--especially if he can't drop into an outrageous character.  FATE: no clue on this one but a weak lead-in (see Up All Night later in this section) doesn't bode well.
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H8R (CW): this show pairs "B" and "C" List Celebs with their biggest detractors.  Once the "H8TR" meets the object at their disaffection will they end up not hating the celeb so much--or maybe even actually liking them?  Tune in if you're interested--I'm not.  FATE: the show doesn't cost a lot to produce so it lasts at least a year.
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I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER (FOX): Jamie Presley stars in a show about a woman who realizes her daughter has turned into the kind of bully that made her high school years miserable.  Yeah, I totally want to watch that (sarcasm--ON!)  FATE: it's not the teenage daughter the audience hates--it's the show!  It leaves the schedule early.
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REVENGE (ABC): I guess the title says it all here.  Honestly, it''s going to take more than that to keep me interested.  FATE: the audience takes revenge on the show by staying away in droves.
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SUBURGATORY (ABC): a hip "city kid" is exiled to the suburbs--and hilarity ensues!  (Uh-huh!)  FATE: forget Purgatory--this show goes to Hell early.
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THE X FACTOR (FOX): Simon Cowell brings his massive UK hit to America where Paula Abdul joins him as a judge and mentor.  FATE: "Idol" just hasn't been the same since Simon took his snarky, yet often on-the-nose, observations.  Add to it the fact that Reality/Talent Competitions are still huge (in spite of the glut) guarantee this to be one of the "sure hits of the season.
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UP ALL NIGHT (NBC): Will Arnet and Christina Applegate share the trials and tribulations of raising an infant.  While I enjoy Applegate's comedy I don't get what anyone sees in Arnet.  The previews look schtick-y and just not very funny.  FATE: like most "one note" comedies the show lacks the complexity to find an audience.
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THURSDAY
CHARLIE'S ANGELS (ABC): bringing back a classic series that spawned a couple of successful movies, this show has a fine pedigree (but a lot to live up to).  Will it work?  Only time will tell.  FATE: no idea until I see a couple of episodes.
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HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN (CBS): a milquetoast man gets lessons in how to be a "modern" gentleman (i.e. a complete self-centered ass).  FATE: on behalf of milquetoasts everywhere I hope this show dies a quick death.
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PERSON OF INTEREST (CBS): J.J. Abrams (the man behind Lost) brings us a show about a C.I.A. Hit Man and a Scientist who team up to prevent crimes before they happen.  The show ought to be, at the very least, unique and worth a look.  FATE: even if the show doesn't find a large audience, critical acclaim and tons of awards keep the show going for more than a season.
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THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW): it's a show about young witches.  Sadly, with the exception of Bewitched and Charmed, shows about witches tend not to do well on television.  FATE: the show won't likely hold on to The Vampire Diaries audience so the "circle" is broken by season's end.
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WHITNEY (NBC): what little I've seen doesn't give me a lot of hope.  FATE: gone by year's end.
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FRIDAY
A GIFTED MAN (CBS): a Doctor sees dead people!  With Medium gone I guess CBS needed somebody to fill that role...  FATE: being on Friday night this show ain't gonna be a big hit.  Older folks will like it but I don't know if the network (and star) will stick with it for more than a season.
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GRIMM (NBC): the fairy tales meet a gritty crime drama!  FATE: this could be a HUGE hit--on cable.  Put the show on SyFy or even USA and you'd have a real winner.  But Friday's at 10:00 PM on a major network?  Uh--no.  Grimm will meet a grim fate early.
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ALLEN GREGORY (FOX): Jonah Hill gives voice to a kid even more precocious than "Stewie" Griffin!  It looks suitably twisted for Sunday night on Fox and I hope it goes well.  FATE: The Simpsons are a huge hit but their other animated series don't seem to catch fire in the same way.  I hope this one goes well: it looks fun.
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ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC): fairytale characters get exiled to the "real" world and must re-discover their true nature.  FATE: like Grimm, this show ought to be on cable.  Too quirky to last long.
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PAM AM (ABC): another retro-chic spectacular--this time centering around the glamorous world of Flight Attendants (whey they were Stewardesses).  FATE: will need more than wings to fly for long.
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So there are my predictions.  I guess we'll see how well I do in ten months.
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'nuff said.     
 

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