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Back on April 22, 2009 I wrote my first post on Mondegreens (misheard song lyrics). (Here's the link if you want to check it out: http://ronwrites.blogspot.com/search?q=mondegreen ). There are lots more mondegreens to cover so I decided to write another post. As always--SOME OF THESE CAN BE RAUNCHY SO IF YOU ARE OF DELICATE SENSIBILITIES LEAVE NOW!!!
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The latest fascination started out with the Kings of Leon song Sex On Fire. I heard: GIRL--your SNATCH is on fire. GIRL--GONNA WATCH YOU PERSPIRE! (If that particularly body part WAS burning the least she'd be doing is perspiring!) The real lyrics are supposed to be YOU, YOUR SEX is one fire/CONSUMED WITH WHAT'S TO TRANSPIRE. Uh-huh. I totally believe that...
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Some people report the ABBA song Dancing Queen says: you can dance. You can DIE... Katy Perry's Teenage Dream suggests: we can dance until we DINE... Given a choice I'd pick Option #2.
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Another random ABBA mondegreen: JACKIE CHAN'S On Me. Get off me Jackie! (If you're an ABBA fan--you know it's TAKE A CHANCE On ME.)
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Way back in the early 1980s The J. Geils Band told the world: my ANUS is the center HOLE. (So, where else would it be?) The real lyrics are, of course my ANGEL is the centerFOLD.
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How 'bout this mangled masterpiece from Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? SCARY BUSH! SCARY BUSH! Can you do the BANNED TANGO? (The correct lyrics are SCARAMOUCHE! SCARAMOUCHE! Will you do the FANDANGO? Like that makes a lot of sense...)
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In the song Losing My Religion some people think R.E.M. suggests: LET'S PEE in the corner. LET'S PEE in the spotlight... Oh well, if that's what you're into I suppose.
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Perhaps it would be fun (like the Chaka Khan song suggests) to CLIMB Every Woman...
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Back in elementary school (and be honest now!) how many of us thought the folk song was: my BODY lies over the ocean/my BODY lies over the sea/my BODY lies over the ocean/oh bring back my BODY to me... ? I confess: I was one.
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Sir Elton John (a perennial source of Mondegreens) once suggested (to one person at least). Hold me closer TONY DANZA... Okie-dokie then! If that's what you really want... Or how about (from Crocodile Rock) I never had me a better time when I BOUGHT THAT TEXTILE MILL.
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Keeping the "Classic Rock" theme here are a couple of mondegreens from The Beatles. You WATCH T.V. (instead of You WON'T SEE ME.) And, instead of she gives me everything and tenderly (from And I Love Her) we get she gives me everything INTERNALLY. OK, that just conjures up a whole raft of sick images. What if She's Got A STICK IN HER EYE? (Ouch!) Maybe we should just go to CAMP BALMY Love.. (Are you a big enough Beatles fan to know the real title?)
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Here's one from the 60s classic (My Baby Sent Me A) Letter: give me a CHICKEN for an airplane... What--does the train not accept poultry in the passenger cars?
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Did Roberta Flack really sing Killing Me Softly With INSULTS? Most people know it is Killing Me Softly With HIS SONG--which makes about as much sense...
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How about that line from Angel Of The Morning: "just BRUSH MY TEETH before you leave me... ? Well--dental hygiene IS important I suppose...
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Linda Ronstadt offers this classically twisted advice for oldsters in her song It's So Easy (To Fall In THE TUB). Trust me: it is! (I know from bitter personal experience.)
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"Walter" (whoever he is) should be grateful in Simon and Garfunkel's famous line Like A Bridge Over TROUBLE WALTER, I will lay me down...
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From my own personal catalog of mondegreens: to this day I SWEAR the Atlanta Rhythm Section announces when you walked into the room--there was DOO-DOO in YOUR EYES. What a shitty situation!
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Steve Gold (my fellow Baritone from Circle City Chorale) suggested the song Don't Get Around Much Anymore with the famous character MISTER Saturday Dance... Dunno who he is but he sounds like a great guy!
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Here's a geography lesson Mondegreen style: in America the Beautiful someone thought the line was from sea to CHINESE Sea! (Where IS the Chinese Sea anyway? Obviously somewhere near China--but where exactly?) Or how about that soulful classic Crimean River? I didn't know there was such a place...
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Mixing geography and food--how about I love SPARERIBS in the springtime/I love SPARERIBS in the fall... Really--who doesn't love spareribs any time of the year (even if its supposed to be PARIS!)
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I could go on for days but the real world calls. Stay tuned for even MORE mondegreens!
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'nuff said.
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