If you can't figure out why I chose an image called Zipzap to "grace" a post about Congressman Anthony Weiner please quit reading my blog and crawl back under the rock (under which you've obviously been living for quite a while). Of course, if you are beaming in from another country (and are interested in an American scandal) please feel free to enjoy today's rant.
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I had originally intended NOT to comment on "Weinergate" (after all--what more can anyone say?). Still, lest I get chastised by my right-wing readers (hey Tanya! hey Lance!) I felt compelled to say something (lest I be accused of indiscriminate "Republican bashing"). In the end--all I can think to ask is this one question: TONE-BONE! WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS???
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Sexual escapes (and stupidity it seems) cross party lines. What makes these fools think they can do this with impunity? Back in the "good old days" (?!) the Press covered it but but today we need our scandal to distract us from economic woes, messy social issues and "unwinable" wars. It's sad that a promising career gets derailed for a few cheap thrills. Was it worth it Congressman? Especially in light of what happened to another Congressman who sent a bare-chested photo of himself to a female who wasn't his wife.
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What I find particularly disturbing is the way Rep. Weiner awkwardly lied when the scandal came out. Come one guy! You claimed your Twitter account was "hacked" but didn't request an investigation. Sorry--you lost me right there! Oh--and lets not forget about the part where he would neither confirm or deny whether the picture was of him. So, so very stupid. Once it was out there you should have realized there was no way out of this except to admit what you did and take the consequences. Luckily for Anthony Weiner stupidity isn't a criminal offense--otherwise he'd be in jail for a very long time.
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'nuff said.
This seems like a particularly good choice as the "fractal cookie" for X-Men: First Class: you have the "X" and you have the classic X-Men blue-and-gold color scheme. So--now that you see why I made the choice on with the review!
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I went into X-Men: First Class with a certain sense of trepidation. Ever since the epic disaster that was the first (last?) three Star Wars movies I've had a certain sense of dread where prequels were concerned. The third X-Men movie was pretty bad and Wolverine could best be described as a disaster of Titanic proportions. Further, I worried that the movie would even further mangle comic-book continuity. (Yes, I can be a bit of a continuity snob--even when I say each version should be judged on their own individual merits.) Based on a cool-looking trailer (and Robyn's desire to see the movie) I agreed to go--and boy was I pleasantly surprised!
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WARNING: this review contains (at least minor) plot spoilers. If you don't want to get critical details READ NO FURTHER!!!
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Yes, X-Men: First Class gleefuly shreds Marvel continuity for it's own ends. Still, if you can get past that you have a pretty darn good movie. We get glimpses of Charles Xavier and Mystique as children as well as what started Erik Lenscher (Magneto) on the road to super villainy. Then we flash forward to the swinging 60s where Xavier has just graduated from Oxford (with a doctorate in genetics--specializing in mutation of course). We get to see him assemble his "first" team of X-Men (Mystique, Magneto, Beast, Havok, Banshee and "new mutants" (at least new to me) Angel and Darwin. They end up battling Sebastian Shaw (played with delicious vileness by Kevin Bacon) and his minion, Emma Frost, Azazel and Riptide. In this world Shaw is responsible for igniting the Cuban Missile Crisis in the hopes of accelerating the process of human mutation.
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James McAvoy brings a sense of fun and "hipness" that I've never seen before and Michael Fassbender is a succession to Sir Ian McKellen as Magneto. (His character arc is completely believable.) Moira McTaggert (as played by super-hottie Rose Byrne) gets made over from a Scottish scientist to an American C.I.A. Agent (whom the script doesn't serve well). January Jones gets reduced to evil "Girl Friday" in her role but she is so hot, Hot, HOT I'd watch her read the phone book (preferably in those fab, lingerie-inspired outfits). Nicholas Hoult nails the character of Beast but I found his "mutant makeover" (if I dare call it that) to look like a bad character costume from a Cats roadshow. Zoe Kravitz is a real stunner and looks cool (and with a different name I might not have hated her character so much). The addition of Azazel (Jason Flemyng) was at least semi-cool. I could have seriously done without Riptide though. I also felt the character of Darwin was a complete waste: his power was kind of stupid--and why is it that the black supporting character always seems to die in major motion pictures? Hugh Jackman's two-word cameo was a real moment of cool. (He also gets the movie's one "F-Bomb".)
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It wouldn't be a comic book movie without a few minor quibbles though. For example--it disturbed me how quickly Angel was willing to turn on her allies and why Darwin's "adaptation" ability didn't save him from Sebastian Shaw. I also found it mind-boggling that those around Shaw didn't point out how stupid and dangerous his plan was. (Yeah, the war might have made more mutants but the world they were born into wouldn't be a very nice place.) I also found it a bit disheartening at how quickly the humans on both sides were so quick to go after the mutants AFTER they had clearly averted a nuclear holocaust. (But, then again, it wouldn't be an X-Men movie if the humans didn't hate and fear mutants beyond reason.)
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Will there be a fifth X-Men movie? Considering how much money this movie stands to make worldwide I wouldn't be at all surprised. It'll be interesting to see if they keep with the current class (likely) and, if so, what story they tell. There's already been an epic (and, frankly, definitive) battle with Magneto so they'll probably have to come up with a new angle (even though I hope they don't lose Michael Fassbender). Guess I'll just have to wait a couple of years to find out.
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X-Men: First Class has all the action any summer blockbuster could wish for. The FX are first rate and the acting is clearly a cut above average for a movie of this sort. Yeah, there are plot points that it doesn't pay to spend too much time thinking about but the action never slows down enough to give you time to pick the movie apart. Yes, you can see it on the small screen but this flick looks great in a theater. Go in and have some fun for a couple of hours. You know you want to...
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FINAL GRADE: A-
With a post title like Burn This Bore I'd need a fractal "cookie" having to do with fire. Right? Right! So what better than burn something than Cosmic Fire! Now--on with the review.
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I admit, I didn't go into Burn The Floor with the best of attitudes: we paid big bucks to see a series of BROADWAY MUSICALS--not some extended feature sequences from Dancing With the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance. And really, that's all this show is. Yes, there's (at least a hint of) a story in each dance but after a while everything fades together. And lets be brutally honest--there are so many way a group of people can lift, twirl and bend each other. Without an underlying knowledge of the dance(s) you have no context. It became an exercise in "oh--look at that" and "wow--that--was cool!" but no concept of what I was watching. Still, I suppose we're just supposed to concentrate on the fact that a bunch of pretty people are gyrating in skimpy/and or ultra-tight outfits that show off those amazing bodies.
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There's no denying that the dancers on stage have a lot of energy and technical prowess (or so I suppose) but for someone who doesn't know a Cha Cha from a Cucaracha there isn't a lot of reference points. The show featured Pasha Koralev and Anya Garnis ( two past contestants on So You Think You Can Dance) but, honestly, after a while I couldn't tell the players without a scorecard. Nobody stood out as better (or worse) than anyone else and I didn't see any glaring mistakes so I guess that was to the good.
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The music (except for a drummer, percussionist and two singers was all pre-recorded (a minor negative for me) but at least there were no technical glitches and the sound mix was spot on through the whole show. Both singers (Peter Saul and Vonzell Solomon) had fine pop voices: they had a nice mix of songs to sing and didn't have to fight the backing track. Sound and lighting were first rate for the whole show. Costume changes were plentiful but there was nothing to outrageous on anyone.
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Burn The Floor is the type of show that is going to have a limited appeal. Fans of Ballroom and Latin Dancing are sure to love it--but I kind of think it will leave non-Fans feeling a little cold. Even though the show barely ran two hours (if that) I kind of felt like I was getting too much of (maybe) a good thing.
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FINAL GRADE: C+
A post about "Mondegreens" requires a green image, yes? Yes! I think Alison (created for my "gal pal Al-bal") handles that quite nicely. So--on with today's silliness!
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Back on April 22, 2009 I wrote my first post on Mondegreens (misheard song lyrics). (Here's the link if you want to check it out: http://ronwrites.blogspot.com/search?q=mondegreen ). There are lots more mondegreens to cover so I decided to write another post. As always--SOME OF THESE CAN BE RAUNCHY SO IF YOU ARE OF DELICATE SENSIBILITIES LEAVE NOW!!!
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The latest fascination started out with the Kings of Leon song Sex On Fire. I heard: GIRL--your SNATCH is on fire. GIRL--GONNA WATCH YOU PERSPIRE! (If that particularly body part WAS burning the least she'd be doing is perspiring!) The real lyrics are supposed to be YOU, YOUR SEX is one fire/CONSUMED WITH WHAT'S TO TRANSPIRE. Uh-huh. I totally believe that...
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Some people report the ABBA song Dancing Queen says: you can dance. You can DIE... Katy Perry's Teenage Dream suggests: we can dance until we DINE... Given a choice I'd pick Option #2.
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Another random ABBA mondegreen: JACKIE CHAN'S On Me. Get off me Jackie! (If you're an ABBA fan--you know it's TAKE A CHANCE On ME.)
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Way back in the early 1980s The J. Geils Band told the world: my ANUS is the center HOLE. (So, where else would it be?) The real lyrics are, of course my ANGEL is the centerFOLD.
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How 'bout this mangled masterpiece from Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? SCARY BUSH! SCARY BUSH! Can you do the BANNED TANGO? (The correct lyrics are SCARAMOUCHE! SCARAMOUCHE! Will you do the FANDANGO? Like that makes a lot of sense...)
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In the song Losing My Religion some people think R.E.M. suggests: LET'S PEE in the corner. LET'S PEE in the spotlight... Oh well, if that's what you're into I suppose.
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Perhaps it would be fun (like the Chaka Khan song suggests) to CLIMB Every Woman...
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Back in elementary school (and be honest now!) how many of us thought the folk song was: my BODY lies over the ocean/my BODY lies over the sea/my BODY lies over the ocean/oh bring back my BODY to me... ? I confess: I was one.
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Sir Elton John (a perennial source of Mondegreens) once suggested (to one person at least). Hold me closer TONY DANZA... Okie-dokie then! If that's what you really want... Or how about (from Crocodile Rock) I never had me a better time when I BOUGHT THAT TEXTILE MILL.
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Keeping the "Classic Rock" theme here are a couple of mondegreens from The Beatles. You WATCH T.V. (instead of You WON'T SEE ME.) And, instead of she gives me everything and tenderly (from And I Love Her) we get she gives me everything INTERNALLY. OK, that just conjures up a whole raft of sick images. What if She's Got A STICK IN HER EYE? (Ouch!) Maybe we should just go to CAMP BALMY Love.. (Are you a big enough Beatles fan to know the real title?)
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Here's one from the 60s classic (My Baby Sent Me A) Letter: give me a CHICKEN for an airplane... What--does the train not accept poultry in the passenger cars?
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Did Roberta Flack really sing Killing Me Softly With INSULTS? Most people know it is Killing Me Softly With HIS SONG--which makes about as much sense...
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How about that line from Angel Of The Morning: "just BRUSH MY TEETH before you leave me... ? Well--dental hygiene IS important I suppose...
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Linda Ronstadt offers this classically twisted advice for oldsters in her song It's So Easy (To Fall In THE TUB). Trust me: it is! (I know from bitter personal experience.)
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"Walter" (whoever he is) should be grateful in Simon and Garfunkel's famous line Like A Bridge Over TROUBLE WALTER, I will lay me down...
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From my own personal catalog of mondegreens: to this day I SWEAR the Atlanta Rhythm Section announces when you walked into the room--there was DOO-DOO in YOUR EYES. What a shitty situation!
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Steve Gold (my fellow Baritone from Circle City Chorale) suggested the song Don't Get Around Much Anymore with the famous character MISTER Saturday Dance... Dunno who he is but he sounds like a great guy!
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Here's a geography lesson Mondegreen style: in America the Beautiful someone thought the line was from sea to CHINESE Sea! (Where IS the Chinese Sea anyway? Obviously somewhere near China--but where exactly?) Or how about that soulful classic Crimean River? I didn't know there was such a place...
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Mixing geography and food--how about I love SPARERIBS in the springtime/I love SPARERIBS in the fall... Really--who doesn't love spareribs any time of the year (even if its supposed to be PARIS!)
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I could go on for days but the real world calls. Stay tuned for even MORE mondegreens!
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'nuff said.
