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Recently one of my Facebook friends posted a link to a post called You Might Be a Teabagger If... from the The Pragmatic Progressive Forum. I won't be linking to said post because I'm copy it in it's entirety here. It don't know who wrote this so I apologize in advance for not giving you proper credit. Still, I found this to be a delightful bit of satire. My comments will be in gold and the original text will be in bold green. So--read on if you dare!
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YOU MIGHT BE A TEABAGGER IF...
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1) You’re offended at any suggestion that the Tea Party is racist, even though nobody objects when people show up at your rallies with blatantly racist signs and slogans. Time and again Tea Party representatives have said something along the lines of "we're not about racism--we're about tax problems." I get that. Still, I find it disturbing that the Tea Party seems to encourage racist extremists. Does the one preclude the other? Honestly, I don't know...
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2) Ronald Reagan is your hero because he was against raising taxes and big government… even though he raised taxes 11 times, doubled the national debt, and tripled the size of government. All I have to say is, check the record folks--it's in there!
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3) You mocked Nancy Pelosi for getting emotional when she reflected on the murder of her friend, Mayor George Mosconi, but you think it’s manly when John Boehner blubbers when he watches reruns of Flipper. Even Sarah Palin has commented on the double standard in American politics. Personally, I think the "Weeper of the House" tends to cry a bit too much (and for all the wrong reasons) but if guys get a pass for showing their emotions SO SHOULD THE LADIES!-
4) You were all in favor of George Bush bringing “Democracy” to Iraq by invading and killing hundreds of thousands of women and children, but you think Obama “blew it” by staying out of it when the people of Tunisia and Egypt toppled their dictators in popular revolts. Me, I just find myself wondering why so many folks think the United States has some sort of moral obligation to be the world's police officer. If we left these people to solve their own problems we'd be far better off financially.
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5) You think Climate Change is a big hoax because Senator James Inhofe, firmly in the pocket of the oil companies says it’s bogus. Global Warming is a FACT--deal with it. Yes, there is some doubt whether people are responsible or it's just part of a normal planetary cycle. (We've had global warmings before--some that nearly cooked the planet.) Whatever the cause, this is something that our children are going to have to deal with.
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6) You think president Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery, and that he managed to fool the CIA, FBI, NSA, Secret Service and the entire US government archive of documents with one Photoshopped image. This one particularly bothers me because so many people JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT! Tine to let this tempest in a teapot go once and for all. If you want to hate Obama--there are so many better reasons!
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7) You think president Obama is a socialist, because he wants all Americans to pay their share of taxes, including the rich, and all Americans to enjoy the same benefits of an equitable society, including the same health care that Congress enjoys. Do I really need to comment? No, I don't think so.
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You think Glenn Beck’s theory of a Code Pink/Muslim/Communist alliance conspiracy to take over the world in a 21st Century caliphate makes perfect sense. If there really is such a theory out there all I can say is that somebody has been smoking something seriously good!
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9) You believe the Citizens United decision was all about corporate “free speech,” yet you’re against the Fairness Doctrine being reenacted, because you think it’s contrary to “free speech.” I've already said in this blog that I think the Supreme Court's decision in favor of Citizens United is going to be a disaster of epic proportion for all American--whether you are Republican OR Democrat. Attacking the Fairness Doctrine (which requires broadcasters to present controversial issues in an honest, equitable and balanced fashion seems a bit--odd. Preventing open and honest debate (and failure to get info from all sides) is never a good idea!
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10) You are absolutely pro-life, under all circumstances — except when an abortion doctor is executed in his church, because he asked for it. Testify!
-11) You thought it was cool when Sarah Palin “targeted” Democratic seats on her website with crosshairs, including Gaby Giffords. But when Giffords was shot in Arizona, you didn’t see any connection. Sorry--I have to disagree here. (I even wrote a post about it.) The connection here is, at best, vague, and Liberals lose credibility when they try to harp on this issue.
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12) You think Sarah Palin would make a good president because she’s a feisty conservative, but that Diane Feinstein should be run out of town, because she’s a feisty liberal.
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13) You think George Soros, a Hungarian born American citizen, is an enemy of freedom because he uses his vast wealth to meddle in foreign affairs. But you think it’s great that Rupert Murdoch, an Australian citizen, uses his vast wealth to meddle in American affairs. So true!
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14) The main reason you despise George Soros, is because he helped bring down three foreign governments; the Ukraine, Czechoslovakia, and Soviet Georgia. Three communist regimes. Ronald Reagan on the other hand, took down one communist regime: Grenada… Reagan: 1, Soros: 3. Ergo, Soros is an un-American commie. Besides, Sean Hannity said so. I have to admit, I know nothing about this--but I DO worry when so many folks on both sides tend to get their info from limited sources without even bothering to check the facts!
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15) You think being a Teabagger makes you more patriotic than liberals, because you own more guns than them wussies. This has been bothering me for quite a while (since right after 9/11 in fact). The growing tendancy to imply that those in the left are somehow less patriotic or love our country less because we happen to disagree with their viewpoint. What happened to an America where ALL viewpoints were represented?
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16) You screamed bloody murder when president Obama rescued GM and Chrysler, because they were “going to fail anyway.” But now that they’re both on the road to recovery, you think George W. Bush deserves most of the credit. Can't WAIT to hear the reply to this one!
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17) When Barack Obama was sworn in, the Dow Jones was at 6500. Today, it’s at 12,400, almost double where it was. And at that time, the economy was shedding 700,000 jobs per month, a trend that has been arrested and reversed ever since. From that, you deduce Obama’s the one who wrecked the economy. And this one...
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18) You still believe Saddam had WMDs. Yeah, this one! When former CIA Director George Tenet admits in his book that when General Colin Powell was speaking before the United Nations General Assembly (and you can see Georgie Porgie sitting in the audience right behind him) that the CIA KNEW there weren't any such weapons in Iraq that should be enough to end it right there. And yet this epic lie is still out there...
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19) You are dead-set against “judicial activist” judges, but you were okay with it when the five conservative justices of the Supreme Court voted in favor of Citizens United, effectively guaranteeing our politicians will be bought by the highest bidder, rather than elected by the people. And now you know why I so strongly object to the Citizens United decision.
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20) You’re strongly opposed to gay rights, because you claim it’s not biblical. Except in the case of Ken Mehlman, Mary Cheney, and Ted Haggard, because they still vote “right” on the issues. No comment. (None needed.)
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21) You want all illegal immigrants rounded up and deported, ASAP, no exceptions, period, period, PERIOD. But you don’t want any criminal charges filed against the corporations that have been hiring them en masse in violation of law. Think about it folks. Really...
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22) One of your stated concerns with Barack Obama’s candidacy, was that he was too inexperienced for the job, yet you want Sarah Palin to challenge him next year. Honestly, I think the author may have gotten this one wrong: Sarah Palin at least had some experience governing a state. Obama only had two years in the House. That being said, who can truly be prepared to be President of the United States? Too many variables in the job make it virtually impossible to be prepared for everything.
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23) You hate tax cheats, and people who abuse their status for personal advancement — but you admire Clarence Thomas, and have no problem with his wife “speaking on behalf of her husband” at the Heritage Foundation, a far right-wing organization. Don't know enough about this to comment.
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24) You went ballistic when an illegal immigrant murdered an American in Texas two years ago, and you demanded justice. But when three members connected to the Tea Party murdered 9 year old Brisenia Flores, you and your right-wing media barely even mentioned it, nor the conviction. Now this one I'm half-way willing to put down to the fact that it was only a local-interest story. And, in all honesty, I can only find a tenuous connection to the Tea Party. Still, the murders of a Mexican-American family in their home deserved more coverage.
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25) You equate being a “community organizer” to being a Marxist, yet you claim to worship a God whose entire life was being a community organizer.
-26) You claim Barack Obama is soft of terrorism and that he’s sympathetic to Muslim extremists. Yet during his first two years in office, his administration captured or killed more terrorists than George Bush did in all eight years of his presidency. I'm going to have to see proof before I sign off on this claim. Just sayin' folks. Gotta keep it real here...
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27) You cheered as Andrew Breitbart and his faux journalists brought down ACORN. But when Breitbart got caught doctoring footage of Shirley Sherrod, which brought into question his veracity, you accused her of waging a “race war.” I have nothing but contempt for anyone who deliberately doctors footage in order to "make a point." IMHO Breitbart didn't get half the crap he deserved. Further, I'm pretty sure we haven't heard the last of him: he'll be back mucking around sooner or later. (Lets just hope that folks take a closer look at his so called "journalism.")
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28) You support Israel’s policies regarding the West Bank and Gaza, because Israel is a democracy, like us. But when Arabs democratically voted in anti-American and anti-Israeli governments, it bewildered you. Sorry to tell you this folks but democracy includes the right to be anti-American.
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29) Your spiritual hero, the Grande Dame of the conservative movement, is Ayn Rand; the dedicated anti-socialist. And yet, she herself in her later years, had no problem secretly cashing in on social security and Medicare. So many people fall into this trap...
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30) You still think fascism and socialism are the same thing, because Glenn Beck has convinced you of that with his magic blackboard. This way, nobody can accuse you of being similar to the Nazis… even though you are. Honestly, I didn't really understand what Fascism was until I looked it up for this post. If you're not certain maybe you should look it up and see for yourself. You might be surprised...
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'nuff said.
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