I was looking for a particular image to go with this blog but thanks to "improvements" made to Webshots I couldn't find it: I did blunder across an image titled Double Ring which seemed suitable for a review of a movie with a wedding theme. So sit back and enjoy the review of You Again--unless of course you've made other plans...
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I found I identified with Marni (played by cutie-bie Kristin Bell) at the start of You Again. She was an "ugly duckling" looking in on the High School experience as an outsider who made a tranformation in college. No, I didn't become a successful Press Agent with desginer clothes and a $300 haircut but I did manage to re-invent myself (a bit) and learned how to make peace with my inner geek. That's why it was so easy for me to spot the fakery and outright dishonesty of this movie. For those of you wise enough to avoid this movie here's a brief plot synopsis.
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After a tormented High School experience Marni re-invents herself in college and moves on to a wonderful, successful life. All that changes though when she returns to her small hometown to attend her "perfect" older brother's wedding to Joamma (Odette Justman) who was Marni's chief tormentor. Arriving at home she discovers her entire family has fallen under Joanna's spell and, worst of all, Joanna doesn't seem to even REMEMBER her: once again Marni finds herself on the outside looking in and things just get worse as the movie goes along.
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This is where the movie lost me: all Marni needed to do was simply say (at the first meeting around the family dinner table) was "you made my life miserable all through high school and it still hurts". Then Joanna could respond: "I know and I'm truly sorry" (but that would have ended the movie before it started). Instead Marni goes through a series of humiliations as she plots to get the truth out. When it finally DOES come out Joanna brushes her off and is quick to revert to her "mean girl" ways (which inevitably results in Joanna being exposed and a girl fight before the tacked-on reconciliation and happyily-ever-after ending required of all Disney releases.)
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Oh, and before I forget there's a parallel story involving Marni's Mom Gail (Jamie Lee Curtis--rocking her super-short gray hair and "Activia" body) and Joanna's Aunt Mona--who were best friends until something happened. Sigurney Weaver makes it work but she labors mightly to produce little result.
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The always-reliable Betty White prevents this movie from going completely into the toilet: her scenes are always funny even though one of them is totally cringe-worthy. Kristin Chenowith doesn't have much impact as ditzy celebrity Wedding Planner Georgia King. Kyle Bornheimer looks sad as Joanna's jilted boyfriend Tim and every scene he's in gave me severe "butt cringe". Generally, I like this guy but I find anything remotely redeemable in this performance. (Kyle--if you have a brain in your pointy little head you'll disavow this movie and find a way to delete any mention of your performance.)
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This movie doesn't have a shred of honesty, integrity or originality. It's a badly-written sitcom masquerading as a movie. This is a "chick flick" that any "chick" with half a brain will RUN from. DON'T waste your time going to the theater to see this movie (no matter how hot it is outside) DON'T rent the movie and DEFINITELY don't buy it! If you are crazy for Betty White rent the movie (once) and fast forward through her scenes. (Then take a long shower with industrial-strength cleaner and hope you can wash the stink off.)
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FINAL GRADE: F+
It's been a busy weekend here in the Barony. The stars aligned so we had not one but TWO shows to see. Neither of them has anything to do with the Aztecs but since there were two of them and they are virtually polar opposites I chose Aztec Calendar 2 as today's fractal cookie. Oh--you probably want to know what we saw: it was Young Frankenstein and Joesph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
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There's a strange balance between Young Frankenstein and "Joseph": "YF" was written at the end of Mel Brooks' long and illustrious career while "Joseph" was at the start of Andrew Lloyd Webber's career. Both musicals are adaptions of other stories and have a lot of frankly corny material. "Joseph" is so squeaky clean it could be put on at a High School but NO H.S. in their right minds would dare to mount "YF" even if they had the money. "YF" was scaled back from the Broadway original (if it this production was the first and probably last National Tour) while "Joesph" has been vastly expanded (even for a regional theater.) In the end you can see a lot of parallels.
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First Young Frankeinstein...
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After the runaway success of The Producers on Broadway it was only a matter of time bfefore another Mel Brooks movie got the same treatment: Young Frankenstein was an obvious choice. It was at least as well known and The Producers and had a large and devoted fan base. The resulting show became the most expensive ticket on Broadway just as the economy was crashing--which resulted in the show closing after barely a year-and-a-half. (That's short for a major Broadway show.) Realizing this was no Phantom of the Opera, the backers stripped down the show a bit for the National Tour: still, the result was a worthy effort.
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Fans of the movie will find a lot to appreciate in the stage show: all the running gags and hoary old jokes are in place. The script closely follows the movie with a few clever expansion. (Frau Blucher's single line "he vas my boyfriend" becomes the best song in the show). The cast is fairly small for such a large-scale show but the no-name Actors all do a first-ratekb job whether they are singing, dancing or acting. The 3-person orchestra (all keyboards and synthesizers) produces a remarkably full sound. The special effects were minimal but they went off without a hitch and that's a good thing.
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Young Frankenstein is a great choice for the theater virgin: the material is familiar and completely accessable. The show's pace never legs and jokes come along as regularly as a main-line city bus. Sophisticates who like their theater dry and serious won't enjoy this show. Neither will those with little tolerance for raunchy humor: everybody else will have a rip-roaring good time.
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FINAL GRADE: A
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It's hard to hate Joesph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: the show is fast-paced and clever with infinitely-accessable music. The show is almost impossible to fatally screw up. Running time is under two hours (including a 15 minute commercial for Performance Riverside that seemed to go on for DAYS), intermission and the tacked-on "Megamix" at the end of the show (and a short running time makes it all the better). The good news is, Performance Riverside didn't fatally screw up the show--the bad news is they didn't go nearly as far as they could to make the show great. So--what went right with the show and what went wrong?
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This production was based with a solid band and a workman chorus: the kids chorus was cute as can be and they never distracted from the show. Sadly, the chorus was often over-mic'ed to the point the band could barely be heard. Likewise, the adult "Go" Choir was a good idea but they had no amplification at all so they could barely be heard. The sets were nicely realized if not particularly sophisticated but they served their purpose. My main problem with the show was the leads.
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Derek Klena (who I don't remember from his brief stint on American Idol) as Joseph suffered from "Idol Syndrome" (a fatal tendancy to oversing virtually every note that came out of his mouth. At least he was nice to look at and there's no denying his vocal ability. Stepnanie Burkett Gerson was a bit too "cruise ship" with a plastic smile that never left her lips as the Narrator. Still, she's got a great body and can sing and dance. Jason Webb's Pharoah was a very weak Elvis impersonation but you have to give him credit for putting it all out in the performance.
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I've seen Joseph so many times I practically have the whole thing memorized (so it makes it easier for me to pick out the flaws) and this show has many. Amplification issues plagued the entire second act but the cast soldiered on manfully. In the end, the good outweighed the band and the show turned out to be a pleasant afternoon's entertainment. This wasn't the greatest production of the show I'd ever seen but it wasn't the worst either.
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FINAL GRADE B-
I picked ArabDiamond 39 because I always pick something "Arab"-y for commentary on the situation in the Middle East and this particular situation makes me feel sad. Also I feel that I'm probably going to get some backwash from a lot of my loyal readers (shout out to Lance!) and I fully expect I'm going to get raked over the cold. Oh well--that being said, on with today's rant!
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I wasn't going to comment on the "Ground Zero Mosque" but then Pastor Terry (Big-Fat-Idiot) Jones of Gainesville Florida grabbed national headlines by announcing he intends to burn copies of the Qran in remembrance of 9-11. General David Petreus urged him not to go through with it because the act would enrage Muslims world wide and put American troops in danger--particularly in Aphganistan. Just saw a bit of a news conference where Jones announced he was going through with it no matter what because "a statement needed to be made."
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Much as it pains me to say it, I have no choice BUT to support his right to make an ass of himself. Book burning--ANY book burning makes me uncomfortable but Jones has the right to express his viewpoint (no matter how stupid or potentially dangerous his views may be). I just wish the media didn't feel the need to give this guy so much coverage (but I suppose that's a topic for another post). Still, Freedom of Religion and Freedom of Expression are two of our most core values and I have to respect that even when I disagree with the views expressed.
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Which brings me to the other half of today's commentary--the "Ground Zero" Mosque. Is it insensitive? Maybe--although I would hope that people would realize that they shouldn''t hold an entire religion at fault for the acts of a few crazies with their towels wound too tightly. Still, even if you don't like the Islamic faith a "real" American would defend their right to build and worship where they choose in whatever manner they wish. Freedom isn't freedom if it doesn't apply equally to all.
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Mind you, I'm not in any way excusing the actions of the 9-11 terrorists: I'm no fan of Fundamentalists of ANY stripe (and sadly, Islam lends itself to crazy). That being said, I don't confuse the actions of a few with members of an entire faith. (Nobody condems all Christians because of the actions of someone like Timothy McVeigh or Mormos because of Warren Jeffs.) I'd love to know who is whipping up the frenzy against the Mosque--and why. (Frankly I'm more worried about somebody like them than Muslims with no connection to terrorism.
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In the end, the situation boils down to two simple but related concepts. Freedom of Expression HAS to include the freedom to put your foot in your mouth and say something stupid. (Of course ot also means you have to accept the consequences of your actions.) Likewise Freedom of Religion has to extend to religions we don't like. If you don't support both sides of the concept you don't really support freedom at all...
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Think about it.
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'nuff said.
I think Bloodrose is a good image for a review of a vampire movie--even if said movie IS a parody. So--now you know why I chose it lets move on with the review!
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If there is a genre more ripe for parody than the current fascination with Vampires I don't know what it could be. So I suppose it was inevitable that a movie like Vampires Suck would be relased. Surprisingly enough, the movie doesn't (*at least not totally).
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Parody is simple: GOOD parody is considerably harder. A good part of the time Vampires Suck is on the good side by copying the tone of the Twilgiht franchise to perfection. This movie is aimed squarely at those who eat, sleep and breathe the Stephanie Miller vamps: the movie makers have gone out of their way to copy the style and even the movie sets of the Twilght movies. The "Twi-hards" in the theater with us (of which there were many) got all the jokes and LOVED it. Yes, there were some seriously cringeworthy moments in the movie but the good far outweighs the bad. (I particularly loved the send-up of the homoerotic elements of the werewolf culture--but I'm just sick that way.)
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The no-name cast does at least as well as the Twilght kids: they play their parts with earnestness and just the right amount of disdain. Everyone involved throws themselves into their roles with abandon (gay and otherwise) and seems to have a good time. The FX are close to being on par with the Twilght movies (even if that's not saying much) and the script pretty much is too. This movie is hardly a classic for the ages (or even for 2010) but it's a fun little diversion to while away a long afternoon or evening. Go check it out--especially if you're a "Twi-hard!"
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FINAL GRADE: B
