Friday, April 23, 2010

A Matter Of Size (Descrimination, That Is)

Today's post is a rant about lingerie so naturally my mind went directly to an image that was pink and frothy.  Lacey Star seemed like the prefect fit--that being said, on with the rant!
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Yesterday I saw something on our local news that I found rather disheartening.  It seems ABC and Fox refused to air a commerical for Lane Bryant featuring "plus size" models in lingerie.  Both Networks cited "inappropriate content".  Said "inappropriate content" was the fact that the girls strutting around in their undies weren't your typical "Size O" sticks one usually sees in lingerie ads.  If you haven't seen the commercial I've included a link for you to check it out.  (You probably should take a look.)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMxyZQfMmM4
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Dunno about you but I don't find anything "inappropriate" in the content.  Yes, the models show a lot of clevage but so what?  Who cares.  Victoria's Secret shows as much skin (if not more) and nobody complains!  Fox Execs caved when Lane Bryant pointed out that there content was no different or more revealing than a comparable Victoria's Secret ad but ABC refused to run the ad on Dancing With The Stars.
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So--what's up with this?  Are ABC Executives enforcing a double standard?  (In the words of The Prophet--"well duh!")  This action sends a message that somehow it's not OK to be OK with your size.  (Yes, I know there are health issues to consider but there are a lot of women who will NEVER be a Size 4--no matter how hard they work out and diet.)  Some statistics say that over 60% of American women are Size 14 or above.  Why would ABC want to disenfranchise a majority of their audience?  I have no idea.  I mean--come on people!  Have you seen the costumes they wear on Dancing With The Stars?  (And that includes Niecy Nash--who ain't no "skinny minnie" herself.) 
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Me, I like the curvy girls.  (I could make a crack about "more cushion for the pushin'"--but that woudl be inappropriate.)  In this day and age I thought we'd have come a little bit fartehr than to discriminate against people just because they don't fit a very narrow definitiion of beauty.  (I doubt many men woukd kick these girls out of bed.)  Boo ABC!  I hope Lane Bryant pulss ALL their ads (and that other companies follow suit).
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-nuff said.
  

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Fun At The Passport Office

Today's fractal "cookie" is entitled Golden Rings.  I could spin you some sort of tale about how the convoluted pattern and star contrasts mirrored my journey but the truth is simply this: I pikced this image because I liked it and I doubted I'd be able to use it for anything else.  That being said--on with today's rant!
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I blame the 9-11 Terrorists for all my problems: you might think they blew up the towers to strike a blow against the "Great Satan" America but I believe they did it to make my life miserable.  OK, I don't really believe that--but we blame everything else on the Terrorists so why not my passport "issues".  And besides--the September 11 destruction is directly related to my troubles: because of 9/11 travel rules have changed--requiring a Passport to go anywhere outside the gold ol' U.S.A.--even the countries next door.
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When Robyn and I decided we'd be taking a cruise to Alaska this year, we quickly learned that Passports would be required.  It didn't matter that we'd only be visiting Victoria B.C. for half a day--nor would our Cruise Line let me board if I promised to stay aboard our vessel while I was there.  No Passport--no trip.  So Passports would have to be obtained (and since we would be traveling in June (and it was late March) we'd have to get on the stick to make sure it got done.  And thus begins my tale...
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Both the Corona and Norco Post Offices issue Passports so since the Norco P.O. was closer we decided to go there.  Robyn was unable to get a Saturday appointment (those go FAST!) we were slotted in at 1:00 PM April 2.  Robyn had the day off (it being Good Friday) so this was going to be a cake walk--in-and-out, easy-peasy, thick and cheesey.  And it almost was too...  Robyn had very thoughtfully obtained the paperwork which we'd filled out in advance (and not signed per their instructions).  The Passport photos were taken ($60--and I won't show you mine since I don't want to scare you) and we went through the process.
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Robyn  sailed through with aplomb and then it was my turn: my application was in order but when I present my documentation I was told: "I'm sorry Sir--I can't accept this."  "Why not?" I wanted to know.  "This is expired," she told me.  "You have to have a valid ID before I can accept your application for processing."  (I wasn't even aware my ID had expired: turns out the State of California doesn't notify individuals when an ID is about to expire--as they do when your Drivers' License is.)  She suggested I run next to to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get a Temporary ID and then she'd be happy to process me.  So off I dashed over to the DMV to find the place closed!  (Not because of the Good Firday Holiday but due to state budget cuts!)  So now I had to make a second trip...
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Getting an appointment on line proved unfeasable: the first one available was in the middle of May (and that just wasn't gonna work for me). So Monday April 5 I showed up at the DMV just after 7:00 AM--to find a loooooooong line of folks there ahead of me.   There was nothing I could do but stand and wait for the doors to open--which I did.  It was cold and dripping rain but I was under an overhang and had a great time chatting with other folks who were in the same boat as me.  I got through the dorrs a bit after 8:00 AM and began the process.
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I've often thought that Hell would be a lot like a Government Office: the place is bleak--starkly-lit and filled with desperate souls.  Weirdly enough, the DMV Employees were surprisingly kind and helpful (maybe because it was so early in the week and they hadn't had a chance to get disgruntled).  They guided me through the process and got me through the process in just over an hour.  Once the process was finished they handed me a recipt clearly stamped THIS IS NOT A TEMPORARY ID.  "Can I get a Temporary ID?" I asked.  "I really need to that to get my Passport..."  only to be told "we don't do those any more.  You'll have to schedule your appoint after your ID arrives..."  (It could have been worse: I could have gotten the news at the Passport Office.
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It took the State 10 days to process my Identificiation and get it back to me.  That was last Thursday (April 15) so I called the P.O. and scheduled an appointment for yesterday (April 19) at 11: 45 AM.  Robyn came from work to pick me up and ttansport me to the office.  (Corona/Norco is a great place to live but mass transit sucks here.)  I arrived to find a rather long line and only one person working the counter.  Still, I had an appointment so I walked up to the counter to announce my presence.  "I'm sorry Sir--you'll have to go to the back of the line," I was told.  "But I have an appointment!" I protested.  She jerked her thumb: "back of the line," she repeated.  So I went to the back of the line.
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Eight minutes later I was back to the front of the line.  They brought out the appointment book only to find my name was missing.  "Your not scheduled and you're going to hve to reschedule in any case since you were more than five minutes later for your appointment!"
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"Remember the back of the line comments a few minutes earlier?" I shot back.  "Not my problem," she said (I'd swear gleefully).  "You'll have to reschedule..."
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But then an angel came down from heaven--or rather from the back of the office.  "I know about this guy," she said.  "I'll take him before I go to lunch."  And so the nice lady did: it only took a few minutes to check my work and hand over my documents and we were ready to go.  A hundred bucks lighter in the wallet I went home.  Now all I have to do is wait for my Passport...
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'nuff said. 

Monday, April 12, 2010

This "Dragon" Truly Takes Flight

Dragpm Scales seemed to be particularly appropriate for a review of a movie about dragons--even though the lead dragon wasn't green!  Today's explanation is short and sweet so on with the review!
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Is How To Train Your Dragon the best animated movie ever made?  Not quite: Beauty And The Beast and Up! both have better stories.  Still, "Dragon" is right up there: yeah, you can pretty mcuh figure out how the movie is going to go from the opening narration.  Hiccup (voiced by Jay Baruchel) doesn't fit in with the other Vikings in his village.  He's skinny, weak and uncoordinated and a real embarassment to his father Stoick (voice of Gerrard Butler--who actually gets to use his own accent for once).  Hiccup is a thinker rather than a brawler and when a device he builds actually brings down one of the dragons that plagues his village, he begins a quest to understand the creatures that plague his homeland.  Does he succeed and win the love of village hottie (voiced by America Ferrera) and gain the respect and love of his fatehr?  I'll bet you already know.
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How To Train Your Dragon is spectacularly rendered.  The combination of realistic and fantastic work together in perfect harmony.  The dragon flights and fight sequences are the best I've seen in ANY movie--animated or live action.  Robyn and I saw it in 2D but wished we'd spent the extra cash to see the 3D version.  (Of course a friend of mine told me the 3D FX were added after the fact so it might not have added that much: still, we both liked the movie well enough we may go check it our in 3D).  The voice casting was excellent although I did wonder why so many of the Actors had Scots accents instead of Scandanavian.  Still, that quibble is minor and it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the movie as a whole.
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Robyn and I liked How To Train Your Dragon so much we're actually considering going to see it a second time--something we haven't done since the Star Trek reboot.  The film has something for the entire family: parents and children can find something to enjoy here.  I'm sure you'll fidn it well worth the trip to the theater.  Yes, the script lacked originality but so what?  The movie still worked and was a top-notch effort.
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FINAL GRADE: A

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

This "Clash" Hardly Titanic

A review about a mythology-themed movie calls for a mythology-themed fractal.  I chose Zeus as today's image because it represents one of the major characters.  That being said, on with the review of Clash Of The Titans.
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Clash Of The Titans has an interesting history: I think it was 1981 when Director Ray Harryhousen (best known for his stop-motion animated movies in the 1950s-60s) made the first version.  It had a lot of animated clay models and some early computer animation.  Still, it was decidedly "retro" although it did have a certain cheesey charm.  For reasons unknown, someone has decided to remake the movie with a 21st-Century sensibility.  Big mistake in oh so many ways...
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I had so many problems with the new version of Clash Of The Titans I don't know where to begin.  I guess I could start by complaining how the writers had no respect for the source-material.  (Take a bumch of Greek Myths and place them in a blender without the top then use whatever happens to fly out and stick to the wall.)  The resulting script was a muddy mess filled with stupidness and incomprehensibility at every turn in both characters and situations.  I can't count the number of major Characters in the movie whose names I never learned--much less understood their back-stories.  Add to that a lead performance by Sam Worthngton (Avatar) that could politely described as "wooden."  (Did he ever change expression in the entire movie?  Robyn says "yes" but I don't recall seeing any)  Liam Neeson (in "King Arthur" armor) as Zeus is probably kicking himself for being involved with this travesty.  At least Ralph Finnes has the good luck to be virtually unrecognizable in the role of Hades.  I'd pretty much forgotten the rest of the characters even as I was leaving the theater.
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At least there was some good battle scenes and special effects.  Their version of the winged stallion Pegasus was probably the best I'd ever seen and the battles with Medusa and the Kraken (which, BTW is a creature of Norse Mythology) looked great.  There was also some pretty nice set design and decoration (although virtually all the movie was rocks and desert with hardly any green anywhere.  The battle scenes and FX were all that prevented this Clash Of The Titans from being a complete groaner. 
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Robyn and I elected to see the movies in 2D as it was shot.  (The 3D FX were added later)  Would it have made it a better movie?  I doubt it: there is only so much complete crap that can be overcome by good visual effects.  The theater was crowded but I didn't hear a lot of applause or positive commentary as we were walking out so I'll be interested in seeing how well "Clash" does in its second week at the Box Office.  (I'm betting it will take a HUGE did.)  Don't bother rushing to see the movie: it will be out on video soon enough.
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FINAL GRADE: C- (and that's being charitable)