On Finding the "Perfect" Pair Of Jeans

Look at the title of today’s post and you can see why I chose a fractal called Denim. Sometimes it can be hard to pick an image but there are times like this when it is simplicity itself. So--on with the post!
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This weekend I learned something about buying women’s clothes that really surprised me. Buying jeans isn’t as easy as you might think! I mean--how difficult should it be? Find the right waist size and you’re good to go--right? Wrong! In fact, it is a hard, dare-I-say-it, often torturous process that is frankly too much for us mere males to endure. Here is the tale of how I learned this lesson the hard way.
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Robyn wears jeans every weekend without fail. It started with “Casual Friday” at her office and she really got into jeans as weekend wear. She has two pairs, one to wear while the other is in the laundry. About a month ago she decided she needed to swap out a pair that had gotten damaged. Thus began our odyssey through the dark side of women’s wear.
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I found some reasonably-priced jeans in the Woman Within Catalog: (for those of you not in-the-know Woman Within is the new name for the Lance Bryant catalog franchise--dunno why they felt the need to change their name.) Her “boyfriend jeans” arrived early last week: turns out “boyfriend jeans” is fashion code for “they have no ass.” (Robyn is “blessed” in the bootie department.) After this debacle Robyn decided she needed to try on the jeans before she bought. And so we went from store, to store, to store looking for jeans that fit…
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You might think--how difficult can it be to fin jeans? An item as ubiquitous as jeans should be available in quantity at virtually any store--right? Wrong!!! Turns out even finding jeans is difficult then one you find a store with jeans you have to content with which style--high rise, low rise, straight leg, boot cut, “skinny” jeans (that really shouldn’t be marketed to anyone above a Size 4). Get through that and you have to worry about proportion: many jeans come in short, average and tall. (Robyn is just on the cusp for “short” and “average”--which adds one more layer of difficulty.) I’m not even going to get into the various denim finishes for fear my head will explode. Suffice it to say that buying the right pair of jeans requires dedication, effort and a lot of stamina.
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Our quest began at J. C. Penny. “Penny’s” is a safe store for shoppers: you don’t have to worry about things being too “edgy” or outré. The quality is reasonable and so are the prices. I thought we’d surely be able to find some nice jeans here. What we found were a few pairs of jeans in two different styles. She tried on both styles in three different sizes but nothing quite fit right so we moved on. (“Low” rise jeans are fine for “Skinny Minnies” but “real” women should probably stay away from them.)
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Next we went to Mervyn’s--home of all things cheap and trendy (not to mention a high level of tacky). We found three different styles of jeans here (all in "broken" sizes). One pair that “almost” fit but weren’t quite comfortable enough to warrant a purchase. Here, we learned another interesting tidbit about the jeans world: jeans manufacturers regularly size their garments smaller than most other garment makers. (I found this particularly surprising considering the female obsession with size.) From Mervyn’s we went to Target--where we found their women’s wear section to be about thirty square feet. That store had exactly three pair of jeans in total. Needless to say Robyn didn’t find anything she could use here either.
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I began seeing a pattern that really bugged me--the lack of available (not to mention half-way good looking) clothing in Women’s sizes. Currently the median size for an American woman is Fourteen. According to one source that 40+% of American woman are above a Size 16. Somehow though, this isn’t reflected in the availability of “Plus Size” clothing. There are huge departments for “Misses” (but try to find something above a Size 14) while “Women’s Wear” is relegated to some backwater in the store with few choices (many of which are just plain ugly) and prices that are far higher than would be indicated by the additional material used. This makes no sense to me on an economic level. Why are the stores neglecting such a large share of the market? (I suspect answering that is a subject for another day--by a wiser head then me.)
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Robyn finally found a pair of jeans that worked for her at The Avenue--which is a semi-upscale “Plus Size Boutique.” Here she five styles to choose from--and only one of them came close to fitting her properly. She paid about $26 (after a 40% off coupon AND the item being on sale). At this point I’d have heave paid just about any price just to be finally free of the insanity: I'm just curious to know when something has basic as jeans became so darn expensive??? Still, at this point I was just glad that she finally found something, anything that worked for her and I wouldn't have to do this any more!
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Then she told me she needed to replace her other pair of jeans…

Do You Know What Our Biggest Problem Is? No Really--DO you Know...?

Picking a fractal for today’s post wasn’t easy: what kind of image should I pick when talking about a survey? I decided on one called Faces--mainly because it references a question posed in the Dear Abby column.
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Many, many years ago (I think it was July 1974) I attended the Bachelor Party of a friend-of-a-friend. (It was my first and almost last such event but that's a story for another post.) A couple of guys there were trying to start a comic book company (oh the dreams of youth!) and that seemed to pretty much be the main topic of conversation for the evening. One guy would blurt out “do you know what our biggest problem is? Do you know what our biggest problem is?” about every five minutes. (Oddly enough "our biggest problem" kept changing...) That incident stuck with me all these years (along with the image of him literally turning green from all the "Cream de Menthe" he was drinking) flashed through my mind when I was reading “Abby” this morning.
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Way back on October 1 Abby was asked what the single biggest problem was in today’s society. She wisely stated that there was more than one then asked fher readers to weigh in with their opinions. Answers ranged from lack of personal responsibility, to greed (both individual and corporate), the breakdown of the nuclear family, the fact that technology is outpacing our growth as human beings, a growing sense of personal isolation to the lack of respect, discipline, courtesy and consideration of others. These were the responses from “Day One‘ of the column, More responses were to be posted the following day but I didn't feel it was necessary to add them here: personally, I think I can narrow down "our biggest problem" to two--maybe three issues (which are inter-related).
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America has become a nation demanding instant gratification: we want it all and we want it now! “Easy” credit, 100% financing, “low” monthly payments and a constant media barrage telling us we could (no should) have the latest, fastest, newest, model with the most bells and whistles (and if we don’t there’s something somehow wrong with us). Sadly, this attitude seems to have bled over into our national thought process. We like our news like our food--fast, and easily digestible. We grab it, bolt it down and don’t think about what we’ve put into our systems--be it burgers, fries and a Coke or Rush Limbaugh’s latest talk-show tirade.
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This mentality has led to an intellectual rigidity that won’t allow for other viewpoints. All too often decisions are based on "sound bites" and slick TV commericals: we don't bother to research or really even think about the ramifications of what our choices may be. We’re right and that’s that. This has led to a decline in civil debate and respect for other people’s beliefs. All too often it seems that we demand everyone think like we do and if they don't they are somehow bad people for holding a different opinion.
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Maybe it's just foolish nostalgia but I seem to remember an era (I think it was the 1970s) when we took the time for reasoned debate and we actually thought about what the other person was saying. Today we don’t want to be confused with the facts--or even another person’s viewpoint: it’s all about us and that doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
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This past weekend I was visiting with Bob and Wendy Pyle. (Bob is Robyn‘s brother for those of you who don‘t know.) The conversation turned to politics. Wendy seemed surprised that I wasn’t voting Republican in the next election. (Obviously the dear girl has never read my blog.) I explained to her (oh so patiently and with only mild condecension) that I din’t think the country could handle another eight years of the Iraq War or Republican Economic policy--not to mention what could happen to the Supreme Court if we get a Republican president come November. Our conversation went something like this… NOTE: this is not an exact transcript of the conversation.
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WENDY: I could never vote for Hilary Clinton.
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RON: Why not?
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WENDY: I can’t stand Bill Clinton!
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RON: Why not?
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WENDY: He’s a complete slime-ball!
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RON: Why?
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WENDY: Because . . .
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At this point she become lost for an answer. She didn’t know why she wasn’t voting for a Clinton but her Momma would never vote for a Clinton so she wouldn’t! (Maybe she just really, Really, REALLY respects her Mother!) Honestly I don’t know so I probably shouldn’t speculate. I’ll give her that Bill Clinton is a slime-ball! (He is a politician after all--and that’s a trait anyone who aspires to office shares!) Still, if moral character were an issue in our political candidates there would be nobody to vote for. Politics is a dirty business that doesn’t attract clean, upright individuals. It’s the nature of the game.
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The conversation sounds silly but I’ve had too many variations of it with too many people I know. We’re all guilty of making snap judgments now and then but it seems to be that all too often we simply slide along without really thinking about the choices we make. You know what our biggest problem is? THAT’ is our biggest problem!

Candidates Fall Down Go Boom

If you can’t figure out why I chose Konfetti Ka-BOOM as today’s fractal you probably shouldn’t be reading my blog. Ah well--on with today’s commentary. . .
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It seems the Presidential race is down to two candidates on both the Republican and Democratic side with the departure of John Edwards and Rudy Guiliani. Yes, Mike Huckabee is still in the race (for now) but I don’t think he has a real chance to win this election. (He may well end up being the VP Candidate if McCain wins the nomination). There are also a few candidates still on the fringe of things but none of them ever had a real shot at the Presidency.
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Did John Edwards ever have a real chance at becoming the next President? I doubt it. He seems like a nice guy but when his former running mate John Kerry endorsed Barach Obama then I knew it was pretty much over for him. Rudy Guiliani couldn’t even get his own children to endorse him. Add that his one claim to fame was his anti-terrorism record (which suddenly nobody cares about) and he was pretty much doomed. (Still, I found his views some of the more reasonable of the Republican candidates: personally I'm sorry to see him gone fro the race.) I’ll leave it to wiser, more in tune, political observers to discuss the bad choices both men made in their campaigns. Both races are still worth watching.
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On the Republican side John McCain is disliked by may of his party who call him a “Rhino” (Republican In Name Only). He’s strong on defense but admits he’s weak on the economy (which seems to be the driving issue in this year’s election.) Mitt Romney is beloved by the Republican right but he doesn’t seem to be resonating with centrist Republicans and Independents. Also, as of yesterday (January 30) I heard he had chosen NOT to buy expensive TV time for “Super Tuesday” (and that isn’t a good sign for his campaign.)
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Hilary Clinton and Barach Obama are beating the crap out of each other. (Frankly BOTH of them need to heed Ronald Regan’s “Eleventh Commandment”--thou shalt not run down a fellow party member.) Clinton has the machine and the experience but she is hated with a passion by many (Republicans and Independents alike) for reasons I could never fathom. (Lance!) Obama brings youth and a new voice to the political discussion (and personally I approve of his long-time vocal stance against the war in Iraq.) Still his lack of experience in international politics could be trouble down the line. I also worry about another “Jimmy Carter Presidency” (he was a political outsider that ended up getting hamstrung by both Democrats and Republicans alike because he didn’t play the political game).
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Whoever ends up running this is going to be the most interesting (not to mention VITAL) election in my lifetime. Democrat or Republican, it won’t really matter WHO wins the election it won’t really affect the average American all that much. In the end the wrangling between the President and Congress won’t allow huge changes in law to be made (since the days of bi-partisan cooperation seem to be long over). HOWEVER--four, possibly even FIVE Justices may well retire from the Supreme Court. Whoever fills those vacancies could change the course of law in the United States for the next forty years--and THAT is of vital importance to all of us. Whichever way you lean it is vitally important that you let your voice be heard in this year's election.

Meet the Spartans: sledgehammering an Epic

You’ll have to follow my chain-of-thought to see why I picked Ares as the fractal for today’s post. (As chains go, this one is fairly simple.) “Ares” (the God of War and most favored of the Spartans. I will be reviewing Meet the Spartans so I chose Ares. (It’s not like I had a lot of other choices but still…)
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As long as there has been Drama there has been parody. When movies were invented it was inevitable that parody would make its way to the screen. And if ever there was a movie ripe for parody it was 300, Therefor it was pretty much inevitable that Meet the Spartans would come to theaters.
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Meet the Spartans follows the basic plot of 300--it is a parody after all. The movie aims low, going for the obvious jokes. It gleefully and frequently skewers the blatantly homoerotic elements from the other movie (of which there are many.) It also throws in references to many other popular movies, televisions and pop culture. (There is almost as many punches at American Idol as there are at 300.) There are quite a few laughs but many of the jokes made me cringe (and I wasn’t the only on cringing in the crowded theater where I saw the film) but that is only to be expected in a movie like this. A few sequences went on too long but most scenes passed quickly enough so the viewer doesn’t have a chance to get bored.
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British Actor Sean Maguire looks pretty and seems to have fun in his role as King Leonides. Carmen Electra as Queen Margo isn’t called on to stretch her talent (or much more than look hot) but she does a fine job. Former Hercules hunk Kevin Sorbo looks vaguely uncomfortable as Captain (yes, that’s the title of his role) through the whole movie. I loved watching him his French kiss and his comment of “man boobs” was one a real highlight for me. Ken Davitian (the fat guy from Borat) as Xerxes gets the single best joke in the movie (which I won’t repeat here.) The rest of the cast seems to have fun with their parts and totally gets in to the movie: none of them will win Oscars for their work but they do well for what they are asked.
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Is Meet the Spartans a movie for the ages? Not hardly. Is it a fun, mindless movie for a rainy afternoon or dull Saturday night? Absolutely! Should you make a special trip to “Blockbuster” to rent it when it comes out on DVD? (sarcasm on) No--but if you happen to pick it up it’s a nice-enough diversion for fans of low comedy.
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FINAL GRADE: C

CORRECTION TO THE PREVIOUS POST

Today’s post begins with a fractal called What’s This? I picked it because I don’t have a fractal called Eating Humble Pie or even Oops. It seems I have made an error so, in the spirit of honesty and full disclosure I find I must make a correction.
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Jane Kazor was kind enough to respond to my last post and pointed out an error. (Read her full comment and my reply in the “comments” on the previous post.) It turns out she did NOT file suit against the Huntington Beach High School District. According to her, she merely had the Pacific Justice Institute write a letter of complaint to the district. She says no lawsuit is planned (for which I am eternally grateful--as I am sure is the School Board.) I got a mistaken impression from reading an article in the Orange County Register. Since my last post the HBHSD has adopted a formal policy regarding movie view in their school.
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So, in conclusion, my apologies to Jane Kazor, the Pacific Justice Institute or anyone else who may have been upset or hurt by any inadvertent inaccuracies in my previous post. In future I will endeavor to be more careful in my fact-checking.

Of Serendipity and "Rainy-Day Banana Pudding"

Today's post begins with a fractal called Sunny Flower. I picked it largely because it was yellow and green (like bananas) and because the shape looked like tropical leaves. It's a very slim connection but you can't always have a perfect connection between every image and post. ANYway--on with the post!

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Serendipity. The word has fallen out of fashion and that’s really too bad because it has such a wonderful definition. The Dictionary defines “serendipity” as “an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.” It can also be defined simply as “good fortune” or “luck.” I’m going to take a break from the movie reviews and random rants to tell you about a bit of serendipity that happened to me.
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The Saturday after New Year’s Day is almost my least favorite day of the whole year. That’s the day all the Christmas stuff comes down at our house--putting an end to the holiday season. That's the day the season is officially over and lets me know it's time to go back to the dull, Real World and all it's problems. It never helps that the day always seems to be gray and cold. This past Saturday (January 5) the day was compounded by a night of hard rain and the promise of even more rough weather to come. We’d had an indifferent lunch (at a Restaurant that’s usually pretty good) when I saw they had Banana Pudding on the menu! (At $4.95 no less--and that for a single serving!) Banana Pudding was something my Mom used to make a lot when I was a kid. It was usually a summertime treat but I decided I wanted some even in the dead of winer.
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I remembered it as being fairly easy to make so I suggested to Robyn that we go and pick up the ingredients--since we had several bananas at home--that would have ended up being thrown away if we didn’t find a way to use them. (My titian-haired everluscious lady had her doubts--no doubt becayse she's had experience in the kitchen with me. Still, this time she was willing to give it a try--just because it made me happy.) Luckily there was a Ralphs Supermarket close to hand. I remember the Banana Pudding recipe my Mom used as being on the “Nilla Wafers” box. We got the wafers--only to find that the pudding recipe had been replace with, of all things, a recipe for “instant” Tiramisu! (Is it me or is that really a utterly disgusting as it sounds?) Still, I thought I could remember how my Mom had done it back in the day so we bought the wafers, a six-serving box of Instant Banana Pudding and a small container of Cool Whip then headed home to see what we could make with the ingredients.
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While Robyn made up the pudding and sliced the bananas I lined a 9X13 inch pan with Vanilla Wafers. Once the pudding was mixed Robyn added the sliced bananas and some of the Cool Whip then mixed that all together. While she was doing that I took some more wafers that I had put in a Glad Bag and used a hammer to pound them into crumbs. We then used these crumbs as a topping for the mixture Robyn had poured into the pan. After several hours of chilling the pudding was ready to be eaten. Turned out to be pretty darn good actually: not quite like Mom used to make but close enough...
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So why am I sharing this story? Not because I think I have made some sort of “grand discovery”--or even managed to recapture a small piece of my childhood. I told this story because I wanted to share a small serendipity in my life. We took a risk (albeit a small one) and had a wonderful result. (Not that it would have been a huge loss had it turned out badly but still--we had to have at least a little faith and the willingness to fail . . .) What I want you to get out of this, dear reader, is took look for the serendipity in your own life. Really, it’s there--just waiting to be discovered.

Sweeney Todd: note perfect

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Twisted Quad. I picked it because it had the right “feel” for my review of Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The “blade” like bars, the twisty parts of the image and the “black and white” color palette all enhance the general feel I got from the movie.
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I went in to see Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street with some trepidation: I’m not a fan of “horror” (be it fiction or movies) and I don’t much care for Stephen Sondheim. I passed on the opportunity to see it on stage for just those reasons. In ways though it may have been a good thing since I went in to the show with no preconceived notions (or at least not very many!)
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Director (and perennial oddball ) Tim Burton (who has created such diverse twisted oddities as The Corpse Bride and Ed Wood) has transformed “Sweeny” from a sprawling epic into something of a chamber piece. (I’m not sure anyone else could have realized the movie to the perfection Burton pulled off here.) Gone (but not missed) are the choruses that help set the scenes and move the action along. Instead, we get an “up close and personal” (sometimes even claustrophobic) look into the story. The movie is shot with toned-down, almost monochromatic, colors: only the blood shines bright scarlet and it helps to enhance the sad, decrepit aspects of the story. Every aspect of the movie is almost, dare I say it? note perfect--the sets, the acting, even the singing.
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Johnny Depp--fresh from the third “Pirates of the Caribbean” film doesn’t have much of a singing voice but he completely inhabits the title role and gives a performance which is completely believable and quite chilling. Perennial Burton Favorite Helena Bonham-Carter channels her inner “Goth Girl” as Mrs. Lovett who helps Sweeney on his road to revenge. (She isn’t without a few secrets of her own and a connection to Sweeney that I never quite figured out.) Alan Rickman comes a bit too close to “Severus Snape” for my taste but does a fine job as evil Judge Turpin. Character Actor Timothy Spall (who played a villainous henchman in Enchanted) reprises his henchman duties as Badle Bamford to oily perfection. Sacha Baron Cohen (of Borat fame) plays barber competitor “Signor Adolfo Pirelli” (who also has a connection to the Demon Barber). He displays a nice singing voice and gets one of the few comedic moments--before Sweeney slits his throat. Newcomer Jamie Campbell Bower (playing romantic figure Anthony Hope) is handsome and has a lovely tenor voice. The rest of the cast is made up of capable unknowns.
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This is a movie musical for people who aren’t fans of movie musicals: it wasn’t an easy movie for me to watch--and it is definitely not a “feel good flick” for anyone (except fans of horror movies). The language is a bit graphic as is the violence: this is not a movie for children or the faint-of-heart. Still, it is challenging and involving--and well worth the trip to the Cineplex. It may be the best movie I’ve seen in2007.
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FINAL GRADE: A+