Mirror Mirror's Strange Reflection

I'm reviewing a movie about Snow White so it would have been great if I had a fractal of that title: since I didn't I chose Winter White as today's fractal "cookie".  Now--on with the review of Mirror Mirror.
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Revisionist fairy tales have been around for quite a while: I first came across the idea with the FIRST televised edition of Once Upon A Mattress (starring Carol Burnett, Ken Berry, Jack Gilford and Bernadette Peters).  In the years that followed I had quite a broad choice of fantasy novels and now movies and television have caught up.  Right now Snow White seems to be the current favorite: she's featured prominently in Once Upon A Time and two separate theatrical releases.  Mirror Mirror was just released to tepid reviews and reception while Snow White And The Huntsman bows in June.
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Mirror Mirror follows (at least initially) the standard fairy tale.  Snow White (Lily Collins--who looks perfect for the role) is as sweet and plucky as she is pretty.  Her stepmother the Queen (and that's all the name she gets) is played by Julia Roberts is obsessed by beauty and power.  Snow is destined to meet Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer--from The Social Network).  Both Snow and the Prince encounter the Seven Dwarfs (not Dwarves a la Walt Disney)--villagers exiled into banditry by the Queen's decree.  The apple is involved but the story changes from there bu it still ends with the requisite "happily ever after" (and a weird Bollywood dance number).
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The movie tries to be all things to all people with limited success.  The romance works well enough but not all the action and comedy bits go over.  Some are good but many just left me cold.  The whole script seemed curiously flat--until the very end of the movie when things changed vastly for the better.  The actors work well with what little they've got--but only Julia Roberts manages to rise above the mediocre script.  Mirror Mirror is interestingly shot with a painterly quality that reminds me of paintings by the Brothers Hildebrandt.  Costuming and Set Design are suitable fantastic and like nothing you've seen and almost make it worth the price of admission--to a matinee at least.
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In the end, Mirror Mirror simply isn't funny, exciting or dramatic enough to really succeed.  It is all that BAD but really isn't all that GOOD either.  I really wanted to like this movie and was sadly disappointed when it wasn't what Id hoped.  The movie should be out on DVD soon enough but you might want to wait until you can see it for free on television.
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FINAL GRADE: C