Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Random Bits O' Wisdom

A random post demands a random image so I selected one of the many “Arab Diamond” series--mainly because I thought it was pretty. That being said, on with the post! WARNING: this may be the longest post I've ever published.
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I’ve been a fan of “slogan” T-Shirts and bumper stickers since I was in high school. (I even had T-shirts reading WORLD’S TALLEST HOBBIT and HOBBITS MAKE BETTER LOVERS.) I've always had a strange fondness for these funnies, truism or just mean comments so I maintain a collection of my favorites (that I thought I'd share today--dunno why.) These days I don’t have any shirts (and my bumper is “sticker free” because of what it will do to the resale value of the car) but if I DID have some here are some of my faves…
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DON’T MAKE ME BREAK OUT THE POISON (on an apron) And here’s another bon not… MY COOKING HASN’T KILLED ANYONE YET or MANY HAVE EATEN HERE. FEW HAVE DIED. (If you ever had to eat my cooking you'd understand.)
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SOME DAYS IT’S NOT EVEN WORTH CHEWING THROUGH THE RESTRAINTS (for me that‘s most days).
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CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT (yep, that‘s so me). And while I’m on the subject here’s a corollary… GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
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EMPTY PROMISES, CALCULATED BETRAYAL, SOCIOPATHIC GREED--JUST ANOTHER MONDAY.
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ANY MINUTE NOW I’LL JUMP IN WITH POINTLESS OBSERVATIONS. Yes, I’ve been known to do this: sadly many people I know do it way more…
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EVERYTHING I SAY IS FULLY SUBSTANTIATED BY MY OWN OPINION. And how many people do we know like that??? Here’s another one: THINGS YOU SAY ARE ‘OPINIONS”. THINGS I SAY ARE “FACTS.”
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EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE STUPID BUT YOU’RE ABUSING THE PRIVELEGE. (I’d wear this shirt ‘cause I know way too many folks this applies to.)
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GOOD MORNING IS AN OXYMORON.
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SELECTIVE LISTENER. And aren’t we all sometimes? And a closely related version; I’M NOT HARD OF HEARING, I’M TRYING HARD NOT TO HEAR YOU
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DON’T MAKE ME STRIPTEASE and if you’ve seen me you’ll know why (‘cause I’ll totally do it!)
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I’M NOT BOSSY. I JUST KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING. I do! I do!
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FIRST THE GOOD NEWS: I MADE BAIL…
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DEADLINES AMUSE ME
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I MAY NOT BE RIGHT BUT I CAN SURE SOUND LIKE IT and if you doubt that you haven’t been reading this blog! Or how ‘bout this one? I HAVE MY FAULTS BUT BEING WRONG AIN’T ONE OF THEM.
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YES, DESPITE THE LOOK ON MY FACE YOU’RE STILL TALKING. Why don’t more people recognize this look and shut up??? And here’s the sequel… I’VE STOPPED LISTENING--WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING?
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IF IDIOTS GREW ON TREES THIS PLACE WOULD BE AN ORCHARD
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I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING OUT OF BED. OK, here's a suggestion: THINGS TO DO TODAY: 1) GET UP. 2) SURVIVE. 3) GO BACK TO BED. There, that should take care of it.
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YOU DON’T GET THIS KIND OF BODY BY WORKING OUT
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IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD. Seriously folks--these are words we should all live by!
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I BRAKE FOR HOBBITS AND UNICORNS. Or in Robyn’s case I BRAKE FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON. Please don't hit me sweetheart...
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MEDDLE NOT IN THE AFFAIRS OF DRAGONS FOR YOU ARE CRUNCHY AND TASTE GOOD WITH KETCHUP. This also works for "Grumpy Bears" like me...
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PLEASE DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHILE I’M TALKING TO MYSELF
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I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL
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SO MANY BOOKS, SO LITTLE TIME.
This is Robyn’s personal motto.
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LEFTIES DO IT RIGHT. Because I’m left-handed here are a couple of more for you. ONLY LEFTIES ARE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND and I MAY BE A LEFTY BUT I’M ALWAYS RIGHT.
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I HAD A NICE DAY BUT I DIDN’T LIKE IT
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HERE I AM. (NOW WHAT ARE YOUR OTHER TWO WISHES?)
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CAUTION: YOU ARE IN THE “WHATEVER” ZONE
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EAT WELL, STAY FIT, DIE ANYWAY
. And a related bit of T-short wisdom… HE WHO DOES WITH THE MOST TOYS WINS or even HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS STILL DIES
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I’M NOT ANTI-SOCIAL. I’M JUST NOT REAL FRIENDLY
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SO LIFE HAS A HILL. GET OVER IT. And in the same vein… PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL/BOY PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT.
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I CAN WALK ON WATER--AS LONG AS IT’S FROZEN
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ONE ACT AWAY FROM JOINING THE CIRCUS
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WHAT BART OF BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? I love this one. Bwahahahahaha!
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MANURE OCCURUTH.
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I’M NOT OLD I’M “OLDE”
or I'M NOT "OLD" I'M CLASSIC
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I NEVER MAKE MISTAKES. I THOUGHT I DID ONCE BUT I WAS MIS
TAKEN. Hmm--this is a major logical fallacy: if they were mistaken about making a mistake then BY DEFINITION they made a mistake!
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IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU I’D BE A DIFFERENT PERSON--MAYBE EVEN HAPPY. This is funny but oh so wrong! Take responsibility for yourself! Here’s another one I like… DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY MELTDOWN?
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GRAVITY ALWAYS WINS

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TOO MANY PEOPLE WITH SOLUTIONS ARE THE PROBLEM.
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WAKE ME UP WHEN THINGS GET INTERESTING
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I’D LISTEN TO YOU BUT IGNORING YOU IS SO MUCH EASIER
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I NEVER SAID YOU WERE WRONG. I SAID I WAS GOING TO BLAME YOU. Or maybe DON’T BLAME YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT.
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I NEVER FAKE SARCASM. And, SARCASM, JUST ANOTHER SERVICE I OFFER.
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WE ARE NOT AMUSED
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THIS TOO SHALL PASS
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DOESN’T EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED MAKE THE UNEXPECTED THE EXPECTED? Ah such a deep philosophical conundrum!
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ET TU, DUFUS? I’d wear this but so few people would understand it.
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LETS HOPE INTELLIGENT LIFE EXISTS OUT IN SPACE. I’M SO LONELY HERE.
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WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS MANIPULATE THE DATA
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I DON’T SUFFER FROM INSANITY. I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT
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MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO DRIVE ME NUTS ARE IN MY FAMILY. But, then again, I drive them nuts too so I suppose it’s a fair trade!
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JESUS LOVES YOU--BUT I’M HIS FAVORITE. Or how about this one? JESUS SAVES. YOU CAN TOO SO OPEN AN ACCOUNT TODAY!
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DON'T MAKE ME BREAK OUT MY FLYING MONKEYS. Actually I don't have any but it would be so cool if I did...
And finally the ultimate! WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU READING MY SHIRT????

Monday, July 28, 2008

Over the Top With "The Dark Knight"

Today’s post begins with a fractal called All My Pictures. This fractal is suitable for pretty much ANY movie review--but the black and white color scheme is particularly suitable for the review of a movie like The Dark Knight. Of course it also means back-to-back black and white images in my blog (which offends my aesthetic sensibilities somewhat) but when the image is right it’s right so compromises must be made.
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The Dark Knight is a BIG movie--in every way. It’s rare for a movie clocking it at nearly 2 ½ hours to make over three hundred million dollars in the first ten days of release. Still, the movie needs the long running time to squeeze in everything--the big battles, the big dramatic scenes and big, broadly-drawn characters. In fact, with one major exception, everything in this movie is drawn with a big brush. Of course, this IS a movie based on a comic book so that might or might not be a bad thing--but more on that later. Still, The Dark Knight offers everything a summer-movie viewer could want.
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The plot to the movie isn’t all that important--and to be completely honest it doesn’t bear much scrutiny. The Dark Knight is all about the FX and the performances and all those are first rate--especially one. Heath Ledger has gotten considerable “Oscar buzz” for his portrayal of The Joker. Unlike the others before him who made the Joker a man madman, Leger underplays the role--and it is all the more powerful for that. His Joker is as frightening as it is completely crazy--a perfect combination. While the rest of the cast of chewing the scenery he’s subtle menace elevates the entire movie to a whole new level of almost realistic horror. Christian Bale (as Bruce Wayne/Batman), Gary Oldman (playing Jim Gordon with nary a hint of a British accent), Michael Caine (playing Alfred but pretty much acting like himself) and Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox) all do fine but Ledger completely steals the movie every time he’s on screen.
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The movie is far from perfect: it strains credibility that the Joker’s elaborate plots always seem to go off without a hitch (even considering that Gotham is such “ corrupt” city). Surely someone would notice all activity required to pull these stunts off. I also worry about the general “dark” tone of the movie (although it does my heart good to know that the citizenry eventually do the “right” thing when given a choice--even though that choice is difficult.)
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The Dark Knight also raises concerns for the next movie in the franchise. Movie sequels in general--and super hero movies in particular--have a tendency to want to “top” the previous movie. There’s already so much in this movie that the producers are going to have the devil’s own time figuring out how to “up the ante” for the next go-round considering what they’ve already put out here. Will the movie-makers be able to raise the bar for the next installment? I don’t know--but I’m sure with each succeeding movie it’s going to get harder and harder. (All you have to do is look at the Spiderman, Superman, X-Men and the original Batman movie series to see the proof of this in action.) Still, the viewing might get lucky and the “curse” might be broken. (but I’m not holding out much hope).
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We saw the movie in a crowded theater with all ages but this is NOT a movie for younger kids. If you want to see The Dark Knight in a theater (rather than waiting for the DVD) leave your kids (especially the youngest) home and have a good time.
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FINAL GRADE: B

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Life, Death and the Courts

It always seems I go to the “Stained Glass” series of fractals when I post about matters religious or moral. I chose Stained Glass 2 because the monochromatic color scheme reminds me of how I feel about today’s question. (You might think the question is a simple "black and white" issue but in reailty there's a lot more "gray" in the question.) Read on and you’ll see what I mean…
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The question of when someone should die who should make the decision has been important to me for a very long time. It started when I was in Second Grade (I think) when our neighbor who we all called Grandma Moses (I don‘t know if that was her real name) was taken to the hospital after a massive stroke. They put her on life support and she survived for years--totally unconscious. In my adult life, my maternal grandmother suffered much the same fate: I don’t know what caused her to go into a coma but she was unconscious for quite a long time--and ended up having parts of her body whittled off due to gangrene. Frankly, a death like that has always been one of my biggest fears…
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Hopefully you remember the case of Terri Schiavo a few years ago. She was reduced to a “persistent vegetative state” after a brain injury. Ten years went by before she was finally taken off life support. Her parents and siblings objected and turned it in to a national issue--going so far as to send “manipulated” video to national media outlets to pressure the (by then ex) husband Michael to release guardianship. Then, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tennessee) reportedly characterized the case as a “gift from God” for the Right to Life cause.
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No matter what you think about the morality of the issue, the legal issue was simply this: Michael Shciavo had the legal right to make the decision to remove the feeding tube. I sympathize with the family on their loss but I think they went WAY too far. (Of course, the case would have been so much easier if Michael Schiavo had totally “clean” hands--but comments about that are for another time and place.) In the end an autopsy showed that Schiavo’s forebrain had completely deteriorated so there was no way she could have had reacted consciously to any outside stimulus. (The lights were on but nobody was home--no matter how much her family wanted something different…)
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Now another somewhat similar case has made the news: this time where a woman under guardianship of Fresno County was removed from a feeding tube at the county’s request. She was surviving and showing some slight improvement so her brothers went to court and the county relented after the story hit the local and state news.
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This story creeps me out and gives me a lot of questions. (I looked for the answers on line and wasn’t able to find anything.) Why was this woman (who had living family) under the County’s guardianship? How did a county bureaucrat even get the authority to make a life-or-death decision? (And who was this individual who made the choice?) I’m a huge advocate of “Death With Dignity” but I strongly object to the government making this decision for anyone! Maybe this woman will end up being like Terry Schiavo but I really think health care decisions need to be made by family members rather than a faceless government.
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More than anything else, these cases highlight the importance of making health care decisions well before there’s a need. Once the need arises it is already too late (at least in most cases). Medical tragedies aren’t limited to folks over 65: they happen at any age and people need to be very clear (probably in writing) about what they want done in case they should become incapacitated. I haven’t done that yet myself--but I plan to remedy that soon and the rest of you should do that as well.
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Think about it…

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mama Mia! That's a Movie Musical

I picked today’s image, Dreambow for two reasons: first, because the image is pretty, dance-like and just plain FUN. If you want to know the second reason you’ll have to go see the movie I’m reviewing--then you’ll probably figure out the connection.
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I have often (half-jokingly) said there are three kinds of people in the world--the people who love ABBA music, the people who love ABBA song but would never admit it and the people who simply haven’t heard ABBA. Hating the Swedish super-group is popular yet somehow they are one of the top-selling music acts of all time. (At their peak ABBA had a bigger income than Volvo--the largest company in Sweden.) Mama Mia was created from the ABBA catalog: it wasn’t the first “jukebox musical" but it was certainly the best and most financially successful. It has estimated that over thirty million people have seen Mama Mia since it debuted on Broadway in 1999 and it is still going strong with long-running venues in New York, London and Las Vegas--not to mention multiple ongoing international tours. Now Mama Mia has made the leap to the big screen (courtesy of Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson) with decidedly mixed results.
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Like most musicals, the plot of Mama Mia doesn’t require much though--and won’t hold together if you DO chance to think about it. Still, for those who want a bit of a synopsis here goes… 20 year old Sophia (nicely played by Amanda Seyfried of Mean Girls fame) has grown up never knowing her father. On the eve or her wedding she finds her mother’s diary and learns there are three possibilities, Bill Anderson (Stellen Skarsgaard). Harry Bright (Colin Firth) or Sam Carmichael (Pierce Brosnan). Sophia gets the bright idea to invite all three to the ceremony so she can finally learn the truth and, as it only happens in musicals, all three show up! Sophia isn’t the only one who has invited guests: her mother Donna (played by Meryl Streep) has invited her band-mates Tanya (Christine Baranski) and Rosie (Julie Walters) for a reunion. Complications ensue because Donna has no idea that Sophia has invited the three men but it all wraps up in a nice neat bow with a wedding in the little chapel at the top of the hill.
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A movie musical rises or falls on the strength of its cast and director. First timer Phyllida Lloyd (who helped create the show for the stage) makes a few mistakes along the way but the pretty scenery and fast pace keeps them from becoming glaringly obvious. Meryl Streep can make the most manic, and emotionally schizoid role believable--and she has pretty good pipes. Amanda Seyfried isn’t given much to work with as the ingĂ©nue but she has a voice as as pretty her looks and can dance. Most of the rest of the cast are adequate singers with the exception of Stellen Skarsgaard and Pierce Brosnan--but at least Skarsgaard isn’t called do do that much. Brosnan on the other hand…
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Make no mistake, I actually LIKE Pierce Brosnan: he was wonderful as the title character in Remmington Steele and showed a flare for Action/Adventure roles when he played James Bond. He even played comedy in Mrs. Doubtfire (although he was the straight man for Robin Williams.) In this role though he’s dead weight. His leaden presence sucks all the life and energy out of the movie every time he’s on screen. He can carry a tune but what he does can hardly be called singing. His dance moves are as wooden as his expression which always seems to say “that gurgling you hear in the soundtrack isn’t ocean waves--it’s my career going down the toilet.” If he doesn’t get a “Razzie” for this role there’s no justice! At least he looks great on screen.
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Brosnan’s performance isn’t the only fault with the show. Like so many others transitions from stage to screen the movie loses several songs along the way and I think the movie was weaker for it. Still, like it’s staged counterpart, this Mama Mia is an enjoyable bit of fluff for fans of musicals. We saw it in a theater that was nearly full and a good time was had by all. (Even though it opened against The Dark Knight, Mama Mia still managed to pull in record box office receipts for a musical. Fans of the genre should check it out (so Hollywood will continue making movie musicals.)
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FINAL GRADE: B-

Friday, July 18, 2008

Bitching About Barbie (and the furor over the latest collectible)


Today’s post begins with a fractal called Venus. I picked it because Venus was an icon of beauty and charm (as is the Barbie (TM) doll. The coloration of the image is “Barbie Pink” as well so that seemed like another good reason to choose the image. SO--on with today’s rant!
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The latest “tempest in a teapot” has gotten me wondering what’s wrong with us as a nation. Next month Mattel Toys will be releasing a new collectible Barbie (TM) based on the DC Comics character Black Canary. Critics are labeling this “S&M Barbie” and complaining this isn’t a suitable toy for children. I haven’t seen the actual doll but the photos make me scratch my head for a number of reasons.
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For those of you who aren’t comic fans, here’s a little background on Black Canary. (I’ve even included a pic of how’s she’s currently drawn.) Black Canary made her debut in Flash Comics way back in 1947 (wearing her trademark black bathing suit and fishnets). She’s always been something of a “second tier” character but briefly made an appearance on television during the brief run of Birds Of Prey (WB). In 2008 Mattel decided to issue a series of Barbies based on DC Comics characters (Supergirl, Batgirl, Wonder Woman and the Black Canary that is causing so much controversy).
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Mattel says Black Canary Barbie (TM) is intended for “girls 14 and over” although frankly I find this disingenuous at best, self delusional if not an outright lie. This doll isn’t priced as a “toy” but as a collector’s item. Some “completeists” will buy the doll just because they want all things Barbie. Fans of Comic Memorabilia will want the doll as well but I don’t see legions of perverts lining up to buy this.
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Some critics aren’t happy with the fishnet stockings, leather jacket and boots and metal details: they call this the “S&M Barbie” (which I can sort of see). They worry about the suitability of this for children but are unaware of a few salient facts: this doll won’t be available in your average Toy Store. Most impressionable children won’t even SEE this doll and if they do they won’t recognize any less-than-savory implications. (If they DO the kid has other problems that need to be addressed with a good Therapist.) The doll will be marketed for a few months than pulled off the shelves (and I’m sure Mattel won’t be making a ton of these in any case) so this will soon fade away from the public consciousness.
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With everything going on in the world it amazes me that folks are wasting ink, breath and blog space on this. Black Canary Barbie isn’t going to ruin the fabric of society so take the teapot off the stove and let the tempest subside.







Thursday, July 17, 2008

Top Ten People Who Should Shut Up And Go Away

Sometimes Thoughts Come Creeping like the ones that inspired today’s post…
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I’m a huge fan of Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press: the ability to speak our minds and to report the news without fear of reprisal goes a long way to make our country great. I love being able to blog about whatever I feel and being able to freely publish it without fear of reprisal (other than the occasional response from a random Crazy who happens to read my blog). Still, there are a few people I really wish would just shut up and go away. I’m going to confine my commentary to Public Personae (so I can keep my skin in tact rather than risk the wrath of family and friends). Since I’m an equal opportunity “hater” I’ll be naming names on both the Left AND Right.
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Here we go (in no particular order . . .)
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RUSH LIMBAUGH: he’s the undisputed King of Talk Radio with massive influence over the far Right. He’s also fundamentally dishonest who doesn’t play fair. His “debates” with callers to his show are pre-screened so Rush always comes out ahead. He’s not above “shading” the story to his advantage (or flat-out omitting pertinent information) just to make his points. Of course, his audience completely buys it and faithfully parrots it back. That just makes me sad…
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JESSIE JACKSON: no matter how outrageous the good “Reverend’s” comments may be, he seems to be covered in Teflon ™ so he can come back and comment again later (where he will no doubt stick his foot in his mouth yet again). The latest flap is particularly outrageous “saying he wants to “cut off {{Barach Obama‘s}} balls” (because he disagrees with some comments Obama made regarding blacks taking responsibility for their own situations). This guy is a Minister for God’s sake! He should be held to a higher standard than the average Talking Head and he’s been in the public eye long enough to know better so I simply don’t buy his apology.
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TOM CRUISE: OK, this is an old story but it still annoys me. The actor came out strongly against all things Psychiatric and anti-psychotic drugs in an interview with Matt Lauer (on the Today show). Yes, there are abuses of psychiatry and anti-psychotic drugs but when an Cruise claims to have read and understood the literature on the theory and science behind these he’s just nuts! I’ve SEEN the literature (and I have something of a background in the field) and the stuff may as well have been written in Greek for all I got out of it. Yeah, Cruise might have READ the literature but to claim he actually comprehends it??? (He may have read extracts provided by his buddies in Scientology but that's hardly the same thing.) Come on dude! Shut up and stick to acting.
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ROSIE O’DONNELL: I’m a “Rosie” fan. I liked her Daytime Talk show and I liked her hosting stint on The View. I admired the fact that she was willing to go out there and address issues that weren’t getting a lot of “face time” (on television at least). Still, she had a tendency to subscribe to theories that were just plain wacky! She had a chance to really make a difference but decided to take the train to Crazyville and turn herself into a laughingstock. I’m sorry for that because I felt she was doing a fine thing. Now I wish she’d just STOP! Rosie is doing more harm than good to the Liberal cause.
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DR. DREW PINSKI: twenty years ago Doctor Drew got his first taste of fame as the resident Psychologist on Love Lines (on radio station KLOS before it made the jump to MTV). He was dispensing good and useful information about sex and relationship issues to young people who could really benefit. Sadly, this wasn’t a big enough platform for Doctor Drew: he felt the need to get involved with Celebrity Rehab on VH-1. (Worse, he feels the need to comment on the psychological state of other celebs without really knowing anything of their history.) This isn’t a good thing: Doctor Drew needs to step off.
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LAURA SCHLESSINGER: Doctor Laura has a hugely popular radio show where she will “preach, teach and nag” her listeners into her own highly conservative standards. She has set herself up as a relationship expert even though her PhD is in BIOLOGY. (Yes, this fact is noted on her radio show but the information is hardly featured.) In the end, “Doctor Laura” is no more qualified to give relationship advice than I am. Not cool.
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PHIL McGRAW: bagging on Doctor Phil has become a hugely popular sport (in Los Angeles at least) so I may as well join the party. His common-sense approach go relationships and “good ole boy” attitude started out as a refreshing change but somehow he’s managed to turn himself into a self-righteous and pompous windbag who seems to be obsessed with shameless self-promotion. Doctor Phil has made many questionable career decisions of late. Frankly, the guy is a hypocrite. The endless promotion of his causes and family is also starting to wear a bit thin--especially considering some of the things he and his family has done. I won’t be sorry when Doctor Phil finally rides off into the sunset--and that can’t happen soon enough for me!
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ANNE COULTER: the far Right’s Pit Bull in a Miniskirt seems to be able to make the most hateful characterizations and her audience keeps growing. (Guess she knows how to appeal to her audience.) Still, I find myself wishing somebody would find something on Anne Coulter that would shut her up once and for all. (Of course Rush Limbaugh’s drug addiction didn’t even slow him down so this may be a vain hope.)
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PAT ROBERTSON: Jesus wouldn’t wear a Rolex on his Television show (thank you Ray Stevens for creating the concept so I could steal it here): in fact I don’t think Jesus would even have a television show--much less involve himself in politics. The “things of Caesar” and the “things of God” are completely separate and the two never should meet. So--go Reverend Robertson and take the rest of the Televangelists with you!
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Picking Number Ten proved to be problematic. There’s just so many possible candidates to choose from! Self-described “Regular Guy Bill O’Reily (who just happens to be Harvard educated and makes enough to support TEN regular guys): his "No Spin Zone" is the ultimate in spin, Paris Hilton and her ilk (and you should know why!), Alec Baldwin (who needs to keep his private business private), Christy Brinkley and her soon-to-be ex-husband Peter Cook (but maybe we‘ve heard the last of these two now that the divorce trial has come to an end), Elizabeth Hasselbeck (the dumbest host on television), Donald Trump (because nobody cares any more), David and Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham (who bring new meaning to the term overexposed) and Heather Mills. (Take the money and run. We’re over you!) Personally, I’d be happy to see any or all of these people take a hike and never come back.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It's A Deep Fried World

Follow my chain of thought to see why I picked Cornucopia as the fractal for today’s post: a Cornucopia is a horn-shaped basket containing an abundance of good food. Today’s post is about deep-fried food--which, as we all know, is one of the BEST ways to prepare food. (Even the shape and color reminds me of fried dough like funnel cakes or Churros) Therefore it seemed like a reasonable choice! SO--on with today’s rant!
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I love fried food. Grease runs though my soul as surely as Mama’s Marinara sings to an Italian American. (We‘re not going to discuss the negatives of deep-fat frying--everyone with even half a brain knows this so don‘t even BOTHER complaining about this post!) Fried chicken, fried potatoes (different from French Fries--which are also yummy but not exactly “comfort” food” for me) Chicken Fried Steak, fried Spam and Eggs, Gringo Tacos--all of these culinary delights take me right back to childhood and memories of my Mother’s kitchen.
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In my adult life I’ve encountered other examples of deep fried goodness: Hush Puppies (and considering my Southern roots it amazes me that I never tasted these things until after I was 40), Tempura Veggies, Sweet Potato Fries, Fuego Con Helado (Fried Ice Cream for those of you who might not be in the know) Sizzler Corn Fritters and Deep Fried Macaroni and Cheese (so horribly, wrong yet so deliciously right!) I even remember a Garfield comic where Jim asks the cat how he wants his cabbage. Garfield replies: “deep fat fry that sucker!” That would totally work, I remember thinking when I read the strip. I thought there was nothing I wouldn’t enjoy if you fried it up and put it on my plate.
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Boy was I wrong!
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It seems that anything worth doing is worth doing to excess: now adventurous cooks are deep fat frying just about anything. The trend seems mostly confined to Fairs and Amusement Parks but some items have made it onto the Menus of posh restaurants. If the fried food fanatic looks far enough s/he will find such questionable delicacies as Deep Fried Snickers ™, Mars Bars ™ or even Strawberry Pop Tarts ™ (served with Strawberry Jelly) and Deep Fried Twinkies ™. The Chocolate Hot Dog is a Tootsie Roll ™ covered in funnel cake batter and then deep fried. Someone even got the idea to split a Krispy Kreme Jelly Doughnut then fill it with a chicken breast, batter it then deep fry to concoction then top with Jam. (I'm guessing this is some sort of bizarre take on a Monte Cristo Sandwich--a weird enough food in and of itself.) This item is no longer marketed so I guess it really WAS as bad as it sounded.
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This is by now means the end of the crimes against food: this year’s Orange County Fair features Deep Fried Avocados (an artery-hardening horror if ever there was one), Sweet Potatoes (why add the batter?) are being offered up for the barve and none-too-discerning gurgitatior. Even atrichokes get the batter and deep fat fry treatment (although I can't see this making then any more edible). Deep Fried Apples (Granny Smith apple slices coated in funnel cake batter and fried then served with cinnamon and whipped cream) actually sounds good. Attempts to deep-fry Klondike Bars ™ and M & Ms ™ have proven less than successful. Still, deranged fry cooks are trying to find the next thing to foist on brave or unsuspecting eaters looking for something gross (but not as gross as live bugs) to stuff in their pie holes.
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Preparing foods like this isn’t easy at home for the average at-home Chef: Deep Fat Fryers aren’t all that common in home kitchens--and they can be difficult and somewhat dangerous to use. Me, I’m just glad that the trend hasn’t gotten too big… Just because a thing can be done, doesn't mean it should! I love my fried food and I love my chocolate treats (look at my pic and you can see for yourself) but, unlike Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, two great tastes don't always taste better together! Stop the madness people!
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Hmm--maybe I HAVE learned a few good eating habits…

Thursday, July 10, 2008

"Get Smart" For The New Millennium

Picking a fractal for today’s post (a review of Get Smart) proved to be quite problematic. (How do you pick an image for THAT???) I ended up choosing Peter Max 6 mainly because I couldn’t find a more solid connection: Peter Max is an iconic artist who got his start the 1960s and the original Get Smart started at the same time. Yeah the connection is tenuous (at best) but it was the best I could do. SO--on with the review!
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I was but a wee lad (yeah right!) when the original Get Smart ran on TV way back in the 1960s. I caught some of the original episodes and saw most of it in reruns but, in all honesty, I was never a huge fan. Right now I can’t say why: maybe Don Adams’ snakrky (and all too nasally) performance put me off, maybe it was the constant bumbling--although I did have a huge crush on Agent 99 (the oh-so-sexy Barbara Feldon). Now, like so many other staples of classic television, Get Smart has made the transition to the big screen--and, sad to say, I’m still not much of a fan…
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Get Smart has gotten an update for the new millennium: Maxwell Smart (Steve Carrell doing his “loveable bumbler“ schtick) is an Intelligence Analyst for CONTROL. He longs to be a Field Agent but he’s too good (not to mention thorough and by-the-book) to be promoted. Still, he gets the chance when KAOS attacks and decimates CONTROL. Max is teamed with veteran Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) who recently got a new look (thus KAOS doesn’t have pics of her). The rest of the story is a pretty standard “quest” that holds a couple of none-too-surprising surprises. (I figured out the “real” villain just by looking at the cast list and seeing his first few minutes on screen.)
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Steve Carrell did a wickedly-perfect imitation of Paul Lynde in the big screen adaptation of Bewitched (and it was the highlight of the movie). He doesn’t imitate Don Adams for the part of Max (although he does a few of the same physical gags and the “would you believe…?” schtick). There is virtually no chemistry between Carrell and Anne Hathaway. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson plays Agent 23 and Alan Arkin is the Chief. Terramce Stamp plays Sigfried, the head of KAOS. Masi Oka (Hiro from Heroes) puts in an appearance as gadget-guy Bruce. Bill Murrey does a brief cameo as Agent 13 and several actors from the original series pop up here and there although why Barbara Feldon and Dick Gauthier (the last living series regulars)didn‘t make an appearance I‘ll never know.
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You have to give the film makers credit for trying to update the story for the 21st Century. Still, Get Smart is at its best with the various homages to the original series. (LOVED the “Shoe Phone” and the all too brief appearance of Max’s little red convertible--although I could have done without the “Cone of Silence.”) The stunts are pretty good (considering this isn’t an “action” movie) and some of the battles are quite nice. Sadly, there isn’t much chemistry between the two leads--which makes the ending hard to believe.
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Get Smart is an OK summer diversion. It’s the sort of movie you can enjoy on video or when there isn’t anything better at the Multiplex. The language is a bit strong for the littles and the violence might be a bit intense but all in all it is pleasant enough.
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FINAL GRADE: C+

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Will Smith Reclaims his Box Office Crown in HANCOCK

Today’s posts features a fractal called Crown of Stars 2. It seemed fitting because of the title of today’s post and the movie also starred summer-movie king Will Smith and Oscar-winner Charlize Theron. These serendipitous conditions made the choice pretty obvious in my position. So--on with the review!
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Will Smith is the undisputed “King of the Box Office” on the July 4th weekend--but then again, virtually everything he puts out turns into box-office gold. In my opinion his last movie, I Am Legend (the movie with the worst reviews and lowest grade I‘ve ever given--on this blog at least) was something of a misstep. Still, with Hancock, his latest film, Smith has climbed back up to be King of the Hill once again.
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Hancock is a “super hero” living in Los Angeles. He has all kinds of cool powers--but he is unappreciated for his bad attitude and generally cavalier disregard for ancillary property damages when he goes after the bad guys. Oh--and did I mention he’s an alcoholic? His life takes on a new direction when he saves nice-guy advertising agent Ray Embrey (ably played by Jason Bateman in another thankless supporting role). Ray, who desperately wants to save the world decides to save Hancock instead by rehabilitating his image. Ray’s super-cute son Adam (Jae Head--and what kind of name is THAT??) is all for the idea but Ray’s wife Mary (Charlize Theron) isn’t nearly as keen on the idea. Turns out she has a secret of her own but I won’t reveal that here. Go see the movie or e-Mail me privately if you want the rest of the story.
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The movie starts out spectacularly enough with an amazing battle that sets the usual super-heroic conventions on their ear--and continues in that way for about an hour. Once the “big reveal” happens though Hancock turns predictable and not quite so amazing. Still, there is a good mix of action, humor (some of it frankly gross--but I still loved it) and pathos. Like many summer biggies the movie doesn’t hold up well under close examination. (There were way too many times I found myself pulled out of the movie asking myself “what’s up with that?” or “how could they do that?”) Still, the fast pace never lags and the directing doesn’t get in the way of an enjoyable summer movie.
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Hancock is nearly the perfect summer movie: action, humor, spectacular FX and massive property destruction in Los Angeles all combine to make one enjoyable “popcorn” flick. Park your brain at the door and your younger kids at the baby sitter’s (since there is some rough language and some graphic, if horribly funny, violence in the move) and enjoy!
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FINAL GRADE: B+

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

WALL-E Doesn't Stand Up Well

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Gears. It seemed kind of tangentially relevant to a review of a movie about a junky robot. (Some fractals make more sense than others for these posts you know) ANYway--on with the review!
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WALL-E is the latest release from Disney-Pixar. Considering how well it did at the box office this week I imagine it’s going to be a pretty big hit too. I just wish it had been a better movie. You have to give Pixar props for putting out a movie where the main character never speaks (unlessw you count the kind of squeaks and squawks like R2D2 makes “speaking”) and you have to give ‘em credit for not having any actual dialog for the first half hour (or so) of the movie. As always, the rendering is spectacular: who knew they could make a symphony of color form every shade of brown and beige on the planet?
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There’s nothing new here, story-wise. WALL-E is the last of his kind, a trash-picker on an Earth long-abandoned by humans. Maybe it’s a glitch or maybe it is just the isolation but WALL-E has developed a personality and a sense of curiosity. He even makes friends with the last cockroach on Earth (who, like everything else in this movie), is cloyingly cute! He has assembled a collection of oddities gleaned from the trash-heaps left by the former residents (including a copy of the movie Hello Dolly). He even communicates his emotions by showing clips from the movie. (For a character who never speaks WALL-E manage to convey a surprising array of emotions with his various noises, tics, shrugs and video clips--all too cute for words. That all ends when a space probe comes to Earth and our hero falls for a cute robot named EVE. Love makes him follow her back home to space where humans have become little more than bloated slugs aboard the star ship AXIOM built by the villainous “Buy and Large” Company. (The single-best thing about this movie for adults is spotting the references to 2001: a Space Odyssey.) WALL-E and EVE team up with crazy robots to wake up the populace of the Axiom, rise up against the robotic tyranny and lead the humans back home.
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Maybe I should take a moment to confess one of the reasons I might not have enjoyed WALL-E as much as I could have: last December I saw a program called Life After People (on either the History Channel or Discovery--I don‘t know which.) This is a realistic speculation of what life on Earth would be like on Earth should people suddenly disappear (and well worth watching if you should ever run across a re-broadcast)… The point of this show was simply that, after 300 years virtually all evidence of humanity would be gone (with a very few exceptions--anything made of plastic). One of WALL-E’s main points is that after 700 years the earth is still covered in trash. In the “real world” this simply wouldn’t happen!
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I watched the movie with a theater-full of families and the kids really seemed to enjoy it. (I’m not so sure about their parents though: most of the conversations I overheard on the way out were the many references to 2001.) To my view, the message of eco-awareness is frankly ham-handed and delivered without an ounce of subtlety. WALL-E movie commits one of the worst sins of movie-making in my book: it’s cutesy (which is ever so much more obnoxious than just being merely cute). Adults with an ounce of discernment won’t care for it but kids will love it. If you have a child old enough to take to the movies s/he will surely enjoy WALL-E (and the parents won‘t be completely bored).
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FINAL GRADE: C