I chose this fractal--In the Garden 7--because the shape and colors reminds me of a Hawaiian shirt: I’ll be reviewing Forgetting Sarah Marshall which is set largely in Hawaii and Hawaiian Shirts are featured prominently (so at least it‘s tangentially related.)
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Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the rarest of rare birds--a “chick flick” for guys. It is a sweet-spirited romantic comedy but it has loads of “blue” language, sex and full-frontal nudity. (Sadly, virtually of all of that full-frontal nudity comes form male lead Jason Segel--but more about that later.) Producer Judd Apatow (of the recent hits The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up and Superbad) has assembled a lot of his usual cast and most of his usual tricks for this outing.
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Segel plays Peter Bretter, a loveable schlub who has a great life as a composer and lover for successful TV Actress Sarah Marshall (played by Kristin Bell who got her start on Veronica Mars). Sarah comes home and Peter greets her in the (fully frontal) nude--only to be dumped. (Segel, who wrote the movie as well as starred in it--claimed this actually happened to him.) Sarah has moved on to British rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand ) whom she’s been sleeping with for over a year. Peter tries a number of ways to deal with his heartbreak at the urging of his stepbrother Brian (Bill Hedar--another Apatow regular). In the end he finally ends up at a resort in Hawaii--only to encounter Sarah and her new boyfriend. Desk Clerk Rachel (played by Mila Kunis--one of the voices of Family Guy) who appreciates his quirky qualities. The road to true love is a rocky one but everything comes out in the end.
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This movie isn’t as laugh-out-loud funny as some of the other-aforementioned Apatow comedies (and there aren’t as many cringe worthy moments either). There are no revelations in the script but it is well acted and nicely shot. You gotta give Segel props for willingly showing off his none-too-toned body and “wee willy winky” (emphasis on the wee ) for public humiliation. That’s just brave. Everyone else does a fine job and I found it quite enjoyable. It is amusing (all the more because it is at least semi autobiographical on Segel’s part.) This is not one of the great comedies of the ages but it is enjoyable nevertheless.
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FINAL GRADE: B+
Choosing today’s fractal proved surprisingly easy: I simply picked the one the exemplified the way I felt after watching the movie I will be reviewing. Thus I chose Gray Mood. That being said--on with today’s post!
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I always thought I was pretty smart. Anyone who reads this blog knows I may not be the most insightful individual and God knows my tastes are not the most refined. I thought Smart People looked like an interesting (but more importantly intelligent) comedy/love story. Either I’m not as smart as I thought or this movie isn’t all it claims to be.
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Smart People is a gray, listless movie about a family of gray, listless, emotionally-stunted intellectuals. Patriarch Lawrence Wetherhold (played by Dennis Quaid looking puffy and generally out-of-sorts) is a world-weary English Professor who doesn’t like his job, his students or pretty much anyone but himself: he brings new meaning to the term “self-involved jerk“. His “adoptive’ brother Chuck (played by Thomas Haden Church who gleeful steals every scene he’s in) is a loser who hits Lawrence up for cash. Chuck ends up moving into his brother’s home to be a chauffeur and plot catalyst his brother has an accident. Orbiting this odd couple is Lawrence’s daughter Vanessa (Ellen Page who was nominated for an Oscar for her work in Juno: it’s a pretty safe bet to say she won’t be getting a nomination for this role.) Vanessa is an over-achiever and Lawrence’s de facto “wife“ who is almost her father‘s parent. Her brother James (Ashton Holmes) is an Art Major who doesn’t fit well with the rest of his family. Last is Dr. Janet Harrington (Sarah Jessica Parker--cute but pretty much as unlikeable as everyone else in this movie) is a former student of Professor Wetherhold’s who still has something of a school-girl crush. (He made her change her major from English to Pre-Med way back when and has become his Doctor after the accident.
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The movie offers two inter-related stories--neither of which ring all that true. We get a true-ish portrait of University Academia (which really is a boring as it seems) as we see Lawrence slog through interviews for a promotion at work and struggles with getting his latest book published while half-heartedly courting the pretty doctor. Back home daughter resents pretty doctor for horning in on her territory (all the while plotting her “escape” to Stanford--far from Daddy and his problems.) Uncle Chuck tries to loosen her up--which doesn’t go well. The plot chugs along pretty much as you’d expect with surprisingly little character growth taking place.
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Maybe I’m not as smart as I thought but I’d like a movie where I can actually LIKE at least one of the characters--and I’d dearly love to have a relationship I could root for. I never really bought into the Lawrence/Janet relationship or the Chuck/Vaness pairing--although I did want to reach through the screen and slap most ot the characters more than once. Smart People didn’t have much to redeem it--other than being nicely crafted. (I know this is a bad movie when even the Titian-haired everluscious Robyn can’t find something good to say about the movie.) I applaud Thomas Haden Chuch’s brave choice of face fur but there’s something sad when the biggest laugh of the movie is his flabby white butt hanging out of red Longjohns. Still, it was over a hundred degrees and we got to spend about three hours in air conditioned comfort so I guess it wasn’t completely bad.
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FINAL GRAD: C-
Today’s fractal--Funky Flowers--is only tangentially related to today’s post. I picked it because the red-and-yellow (OK Gold) color scheme reminds me of the former South Vietnam flag and the flowery shapes look a bit Asian to my Caucasian eye. They are a slightly weird bouquet for OC Register Columnist Frank Mikadeit.
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I’m not quite a Carl Sagan, Ronald Reagan, Sand Diegan Pagan (although every other Tuesday night I HAVE been known to worship Menachem Begin but that‘s a story for another time and place.) I DO make a point of reading Frank Mikadeit’s column in the OC Register on a daily basis. (He’s one of the main inspirations for this blog so if you don’t like it please feel free to complain to him.) He’s one of the true "Voices of Reason" in what is often an increasingly-crazy world. Today (April 9) he wrote a column about the ongoing protest in the local Vietnamese community. (Here’s a link to his column if you want to check it out for yourself: http://www.ocregister.com/articles/newspaper-doan-news-2014183-vietnamese-protesters ).
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For those of my eight loyal readers who DON’T live in the glorious OC--here’s the story . . . (Quoting from his column) The facts: In late December the largest Vietnamese-language daily outside of Vietnam published a woman's tribute to her Vietnamese mother-in-law, who had for years worked in a nail salon to support her family. Accompanying the article was a photo of the foot spa the woman had used. The side of the spa happened to bear an image of the flag. … That was the "offense." … Somebody saw it and used it to bait the virulent anti-communist faction in Little Saigon. Protests began outside the News offices … in Westminster. Nguoi Viet (the newspaper) did three things to appease the protesters, ) Apologized; 2) fired two editors; 3) bought back copies of the publication. It didn’t stop the protests. According to sworn declarations and an interview with Nguoi Viet editor Anh Do, protesters have also: blocked entrances to newspaper driveways and doors from customers and employees; stolen and destroyed copies of the paper; urinated on newspaper property; used bullhorns to shout into the rolled-down windows of cars arriving at the paper; yelled through the bullhorn inside the newspaper lobby. Do says the paper also received bomb threats and, most appalling, a threat "to dig up my father's grave and 'kill' him all over again." As of this week Judge Derek Hunt has greatly restricted the activities of the protesters.
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Mikadeit was bold enough to call the protesters “sick” and “dumb”--an assertion I could not agree with more! Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill--if ever there was one this is a prime example! What do these idiot protesters want anyway? It seems like the Nguoi Viet has bent over backward to appease them and yet it is not enough. Don’t these people have anything better to do? Maybe the ruling will calm the protesters down but personally I have my doubts . . .
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I’ve been following this story for a while now and wanted to comment due largely to the trouble of the Jane Kazor blog: the last thing I need is another detour to Crazyville. Still, once my hero Frank decided to comment I decided to put in my two cents as well--not that I’ve added anything constructive to the debate (but that’s not exactly what the blog is about). Keep up the good work Frank. You're not just another newspaper "hot dog." I always look forward to your column: unlike Gordon Dillow’s column it rarely raises my blood pressure. I truly appreciate that and Robyn truly appreciate's that.
I picked today’s image--Twisty 2--because I think the title suit’s the post. Read the blog and see if you agree…
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If there haven’t been enough twists and turns in the case of embattled former-Sherriff Mike Carona--now have a new wrinkle. A couple of Los Angeles DJ’s John (Kobylt) and Ken (Chiampu) have started a segment on their radio show called “Taint the Jury Pool” in which they are encouraging any of their listeners who happen to get selected to lie to the Judge and Lawyers so they could be seated on the Jury in order to get Carona convicted.
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Mind you, I’m no fan of Sherriff Carona: my reasons are many and few of them are logical. Still--I find myself wondering about this stunt. My favorite O.C. Register Columnist Frank Mikedeit suggest they are either anarchists or take their listeners for fools in his April 7 column. (Check out the whole report with this link: http://www.ocregister.com/articles/john-carona-jury-2011573-candidates-ken. I’m sure the Sherriff is guilty of something but even I wouldn’t be so stupid as to attempt to perjure myself just to send the dude up the river. John Kobylt was completely unapologetic saying they were “mocking the system” and they “have no respect for it.”
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As much as I dislike our former Sherriff I dislike this sort of thing even more. Come on! This is just DUMB! The justice system IS flawed--but it’s the only one we have. (Personally, I feel that Carona is working the system for all he’s worth but that’s beside the point.) If the feds have a case they should be allowed to present it and let them weigh the case on its own merits. Trying to convince the Jury he is guilty on a whim just seems wrong to me somehow.
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Still, if you want another reason that Carona was (at best) “shady” and (at worst) completely incompetent you should check out the District Attorney’s report on the jailhouse beating of John Chamberlain. (One deputy sent over twenty personal text messages while the inmate was being beaten to death: another one was literally sleeping on the job.) Still, with everything that was wrong in the jail no criminal charges were filed against ANYONE. And do you know why? Mainly because Sherriff Carona refused to turn the investigation over to the D.A.’s office when the trouble started. He refused to testify before a Grand Jury and helped in the cover-up. Nice job Sherriff!
Follow the chain to figure out why I chose the fractal for today’s post. Belladonna (today‘s image) is a plant also called “Deadly Nightshade”--which just happens to be quite poisonous. The movies I’ll be discussing were pretty much all “box office poison” so the choice made a certain sense to me. ANYway--on with the review!
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Entertainment Weekly LOVES to publish Best/Worse Lists: last week I came across their list of the 20 WORST MOVIES BASED ON COMIC BOOKS. (Being a comic book fan I decided I really had to comment on this.). I was never able to figure out how they organized the list (from “Best of the Bad” to the “Worst”--who got the most votes or whatever) so I’m simply going to comment on each one as they posted it. Use this link to check out their reviews http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20186843,00.html .-SO--on with their list!-
O1) GHOST RIDER: this movie actually made a decent amount of money at the Box Office. Still, half way cool special effects, a couple of cool gights and Sam Elliot couldn’t save this movie from itself. Nicholas Cage played Johnny Blaze like a bad (really bad) Elvis Impersonator. Peter Fonda played Satan as an Accountant and Wes Bentley as his bratty Goth son was enough to make this a total howler.
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02) THE SHADOW: I don’t know why this didn’t make money. The script was fun but there were a lot of good ideas. I enjoyed the performances--particularly Alec Baldwin as the title character. Yeah, it was a bit campy but so what? The source material was a 1930s serial and they got the feel right. Alec Baldwin brought just the right air of gravitas to his part as the Shadow--and I LOVED the car!
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03) BARB WIRE: there’s only ONE reason to see this movie--Pamela Anderson in (and out of)skintight leather. If I were ranking movies for sheer awfulness this one would be right near the top.
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04) CATWOMAN: Halle Berry is truly beautiful (and we know she can act!) but martial-arts in a barely-there leather costume can’t make up for a bad script and plodding direction. It won multiple “Razzies” the year it was released--and justifiably so. Oddly enough, they’d been trying to make a movie with Catwoman since Michelle Pfeifer played the role in the second Batman movie: I’d have liked to have seen that.
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05) BRENDA STARR: I knew the movie had been made and I knew it starred Brooke Shields but I didn’t know anything else about it. Knowing she was in it though, it doesn’t surprise me the movie was a stinker though. (I do find myself with a quibble about it’s inclusion on the list though: Brenda Starr was a Comic STRIP not a Comic BOOK! The difference is subtle but important.)
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06) THE PHANTOM: as I remember I rather liked this movie as well. The filmmakers stuck closely to the feel of the original material and it was campy fun. Billy Zane plays his part with sincerity (and there’s no doubt he’s just plain gorgeous.) He didn’t even laugh at himself in purple pantyhose. I honestly don’t know why The Phantom was included on this list. Maybe the review couldn't handle the purple tights...
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07) DAREDEVIL/ELEKTRA: two movies forever linked. To be completely honest I actually didn’t hate Daredevil. Yeah, I thought Ben Afleck’s red dye-job was laughable but I liked quite a lot about the movie. (Re-imagining Kingpin as a black man was cool.) After DD made a ton of money the same people decided to broaden the franchise by bringing Elektra to the screen. Jennifer Garner is beautiful and that’s all you can say about this movie. It should have been better.
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08) TANK GIRL: based on a British Underground Comic book, it might have worked (at least a little better) as an animated feature. Still, this campy mess wasn’t funny in the least. Lori Petty couldn't sustain the lead role and I’ll bet Ice-T (the only bright spot in a hideous movie) wishes he could forget the kangaroo costume…
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09) FANTASTIC FOUR: I felt like I was watching two movies here--one was pretty good and the other was AWFUL! It just depended who was on screen. Michael Chikliks (as Ben Grimm) and Chris Evans (as the Human Torch) were pitch perfect in their roles. Ioan Gruffud (Mr. Fantastic) looked silly in his artificially-grayed sideburns and he had ZERO chemistry with Jessica Alba (who was so unrelentingly awful) as the Invisible Girl. Their re-do of Doctor Doom was pretty bad too.
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10) SHEENA: the Trifecta of a horrendous script, awful acting and cheap special effects made this the perfect sh#tstorm of a movie. (Even the trained animals looked embarrassed to be in this movie.) At least it had Tanya Roberts running around almost every frame in chamois-cloth bikini in almost every scene (which surely endeared this turkey to legions of teenage boys in the 80s.)
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11) THE PUNISHER: a movie so bad they made it twice! (Once with Dolph Lundgren and later with Thomas Jane.) Saw the first one, didn’t know they’d made another one. The movies makers wanted to capitalize on movies like Die Hard and its ilk but all they got was a badly-acted, bloody mess.
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12) SUPERGIRL: I saw this in the theater and later on tape and HBO and actually liked it. Yeah, it’s completely campy but fun and done well. I don’t think it deserves to be on anybody’s “worst” list.
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13) BARBERELLA: I may have seen most of the movie in bits and pieces (and I wasn’t impressed.) It’s early 70s camp, low-budget schlock that might have been cheesily delightful when it was made. Now it’s just plain bad. But, again--I didn’t know this was based on a Comic Book!
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14) HOWARD THE DUCK: this movie was supposed to be HUGE! Expensive to make and heavily promoted, it was backed by George Lucas (who at the time could do no wrong in Hollywood.) The countercultural magic of the comic didn’t translate to the big screen. Audiences who should have been laughing along with the movie were instead screaming in derision. (And the implied bestiality was just--eew.)
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15) STEEL: another movie I’d never heard of until I saw it mentioned on the list. Still, it starred Shaquille O’Neil which should be enough to indicate it will be a turkey of epic proportions. (Didn't the producers see Space Jam or the movie where he played a genie???) What more needs be said? Stick to something you're good at Shaq old boy.
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16) SWAMP THING: one mucky cheesefest wasn’t enough, they had to make two! I never really cared for the eponymous comic book so I didn’t feel the need catch this at the theater. I’ve seen bits and pieces of this mess on television and it was pretty bad. Still, Swamp Thing has a certain cult following that frankly I don’t understand.
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17) BATMAN AND ROBIN: the nadir of the Batman franchise. The filmmakers tried stuffing Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy AND Bane into a two hour movie! (Oh, and who can forget the nipples on the Batsuits? Yes, NIPPLES!) A lot of good people were in this movie but they couldn’t overcome the bloated mess of the script.
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18) THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN: this movie proves that the parts CAN be greater than the whole. First rate talent, FX and a good director all combined to make a movie so bad Sean Connery demanded his character be killed off so he couldn’t be taken back into any future sequels. (I think LXG was likely "focused grouped" to death by the Producers.) Luckily this didn’t make enough money to warrant a second outing.
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19) SUPERMAN 4: THE QUEST FOR PEACE: Superman 2 is one of the best “superhero” movies ever made. It is a true classic. Sadly, it was followed up by Superman 3--a horrid peace of schlock the was his singly funny. I didn’t realize there was a FOURTH movie even worse than Number Three and I guess I’m glad. (Shudder.)
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20) JUDGE DREDD: Sylvester Stallone actually has some real talent (in the right vehicle at least.) Judge Dredd is NOT the right vehicle!) Bad FX, a bad script, and horrid acting combine to make a howling stinker. Rob Schneider is Dredd’s sidekick--which should be an indication of how bad things can get!
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Yes, there are some real stinkers in this movie--but they left off a few. Where is X-Men 3? Where is Popeye? (Maybe it was left off the list because it was a cartoon before it was a comic book.) Where is either of the Captain America movies? Ah well, I guess that’s why I have a blog!
I chose this fractal--In the Garden 7--because the shape and colors reminds me of a Hawaiian shirt: I’ll be reviewing Forgetting Sarah Marshall which is set largely in Hawaii and Hawaiian Shirts are featured prominently (so at least it‘s tangentially related.)
