An Idea For A New Charity

I chose Garter as the image for today's post. Read on and I think it will become pretty obvious.
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Today's economy has had a devastating effect on all of us. Needs grow as funds shrink and everyone is feeling the pinch. Breast cancer research, ALS, Muscular Dystrophy and a host of other causes all are in dire need. But you know about those: I'm here to tell you about a little-known and less-respected group who have been hit and hit hard by the economic downturn. Sexy people. Yes, sexy people everywhere are silently suffering and need your help.
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For example...
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Tiffini, age 26, of Las Vegas Nevada is reeling under the crushing debt she incurred purchasing her 48 "Double D's". This platinum-Blondie temptress cries herself to sleep night after night in her penthouse overlooking the strip because she lacks the basic necessities to get her through the night. Your contribution could buy her some new pasties and a G-string. Enough money could even get her an in-house stripper pole.
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Solange, age 31, of South Hampton New York is faced with the difficult decision of selling off her jewelery or getting a real job to meet the payments on her trendy beach cottage and her Mercedes. Since the stock market has taken a major hit her "sugar daddy" has been much less generous--depriving this poor beauty of the basic needs. Your dollars could save Solange and countless other golddiggers just like her from the horror of having to buy retail. Won't you help her buy those fierce Jimmy Chou pumps and that too cute Kate Spade bag?
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And it's not just sexy women who are feeling the pinch...
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Giovanni, age unknown, currently residing in Miami is finding it harder and harder to lead the life of a gigolo. Body-waxing, visits to Sunset Tan and the gym don't come cheap and having "fashion-forward" clothing, ride and getting in to the right clubs and restaurants can't be done without greasing a lot of palms. Giovanni is at a critical juncture in his life: your generous contribution can keep him where he belongs--in the beds of wealthy, older businessmen.
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Last, there is the particularly sad case of Chad, Age 32, currently residing in Newport Beach California. Chad clawed his way up through the mean scene that is the Chippendale's empire until he became a lead dancer. But age has taken it's toll" there's a bump in his grind that wasn't there when he was 26--and it's only a matter of time before someone new takes his place. Still, Chad has a lot of years of "sexy" left in him: with your help he can keep "hangin' with his buds" on the beach and not have to face that realities of life.
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And that's where our charity--Sexy People In Need comes in. Wherever there are sexy people in need--we're there! Be it a club in Vegas, the beaches of Miami, "Nude" Juice Bars in Orange County, a peep show in San Francisco or a summer cottage in the Hamptons--S.P.I.N. in there to provide lingerie and luxuries and anything else these poor overlooked people might need.
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Why should I contribute? you may ask. Don't these people simply attract help by the mere fact they ARE sexy? All too often the sexy suffer in silence while those who COULD help leave them alone--thinking somebody else is taking care of the need. Now is your golden opportunity to assist some of the most desperate in our society. Not only would they be forever grateful--they might even give you a lap dance! So give and give generously! Remember--Sexy People In Need--put a new S.P.I.N. on your giving...
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'nuff said.