Clone Bore

We’re going to do something different with this post. You’ll get your fractal “cookie” right at the top--just like always--but I’m not going to explain why I picked this image until the end of the review. In case you can’t figure out the subject from the title it’s Star Wars: the Clone War.
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Animation could have taken the Star Wars ™ franchise to a whole new level. Animation could have created worlds undreamed-of (not to mention unexecutable) in a live-action movie. Even with computers there could have been a spectacle beyond belief. Too bad Lucasfilms had to squander all that potential on Star Wars: the Clone War. Lucky for them they didn’t waste a lot of creative energy putting this mess together.
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The “Clone War” was glossed over in the big-screen Star Wars films: we see the set-up and aftermath but get virtually nothing of what actually happened (even though it was integral to the story). Too bad George Lucas and his associates didn’t keep it that way. In Star Wars: the Clone War we get a tepid story, wooden characters and “blah” animation worthy of a video game. There is nothing here of the things that made the “Star Wars” live action movies great (but, then again, there wasn’t much of that in STAR WARS I through III in any case.) We don’t have to suffer through Haden Christiensen’s “acting”--but nobody but Anthony Daniels (the voice of C3PO) is willing to lend their voices to this mess. (Somehow the film makers even managed to suck all the personality out of R2D2.)
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Die hard “Star Wars” fans (the kind who will buy ANYTHING with a Star Wars label tacked on--no matter how crappy) will enjoy this movie. So will fans of space opera (at least those without much taste or intelligence.) Animation fans aren’t going to care for the herky-jerky “second tier” computer job that was done here. All the character look oddly wooden: who knows? Maybe they wanted to do an homage to old-timey British shows like Thunderbirds and Fireball XL5 (although I‘m guessing this was more of a “happy accident“ Ha!) I saw it in a theater with several kids: they seemed to tolerate if not outright enjoy it. Is it the worst movie I’ve seen? No. In fact, it isn’t even the worst movie I’ve seen this YEAR. (That honor goes to Superhero Movie.) Still, I have to go back a pretty long way to find a movie in which I was more disappointed. (I think it was The Jewel of the Nile--and that came out twenty plus years ago!)
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FINAL GRADE: D+
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Oh--and about today’s fractal… The image is called Voidstar. The “star” part should be pretty obvious as should the black background (representing space). As for the “void”--well, there really wasn’t a lot to this movie