We’re going to do something different with this post. You’ll get your fractal “cookie” right at the top--just like always--but I’m not going to explain why I picked this image until the end of the review. In case you can’t figure out the subject from the title it’s Star Wars: the Clone War.
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Animation could have taken the Star Wars ™ franchise to a whole new level. Animation could have created worlds undreamed-of (not to mention unexecutable) in a live-action movie. Even with computers there could have been a spectacle beyond belief. Too bad Lucasfilms had to squander all that potential on Star Wars: the Clone War. Lucky for them they didn’t waste a lot of creative energy putting this mess together.
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The “Clone War” was glossed over in the big-screen Star Wars films: we see the set-up and aftermath but get virtually nothing of what actually happened (even though it was integral to the story). Too bad George Lucas and his associates didn’t keep it that way. In Star Wars: the Clone War we get a tepid story, wooden characters and “blah” animation worthy of a video game. There is nothing here of the things that made the “Star Wars” live action movies great (but, then again, there wasn’t much of that in STAR WARS I through III in any case.) We don’t have to suffer through Haden Christiensen’s “acting”--but nobody but Anthony Daniels (the voice of C3PO) is willing to lend their voices to this mess. (Somehow the film makers even managed to suck all the personality out of R2D2.)
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Die hard “Star Wars” fans (the kind who will buy ANYTHING with a Star Wars label tacked on--no matter how crappy) will enjoy this movie. So will fans of space opera (at least those without much taste or intelligence.) Animation fans aren’t going to care for the herky-jerky “second tier” computer job that was done here. All the character look oddly wooden: who knows? Maybe they wanted to do an homage to old-timey British shows like Thunderbirds and Fireball XL5 (although I‘m guessing this was more of a “happy accident“ Ha!) I saw it in a theater with several kids: they seemed to tolerate if not outright enjoy it. Is it the worst movie I’ve seen? No. In fact, it isn’t even the worst movie I’ve seen this YEAR. (That honor goes to Superhero Movie.) Still, I have to go back a pretty long way to find a movie in which I was more disappointed. (I think it was The Jewel of the Nile--and that came out twenty plus years ago!)
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FINAL GRADE: D+
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Oh--and about today’s fractal… The image is called Voidstar. The “star” part should be pretty obvious as should the black background (representing space). As for the “void”--well, there really wasn’t a lot to this movie
Today’s post begins with a fractal called CELESTIAL DRAGON. I chose it because of the connection to the title of the movie I’ll be reviewing today. Hope you enjoy both the image and review.
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Most critics consider the “Mummy” franchise to be a poor man’s version of the “Indiana Jones” movie. You have the dashing adventurer, the “great peril”, the witty banter and big battles. Still, the “Mummy” series never quite reached the heights that it’s more well-regarded cousin did. Maybe it’s the quality of the people involved or the lower budgets but that never stopped the Mummy franchise from being fun. In this latest outing The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, the movie is still fun but it has begun to lose some of its charm.
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For the latest outing the action shifts from Egypt to China. (I guess the old story line was played out after two movies and a spin-offs.) Rick and Evelyn O’Connell have “retired” from archaeology and settled into domestic bliss after “the War.” while their son Alex, now a young adult, has dropped out of college and gone off to be a tomb raider (my description) in China with an old enemy of his parents. After discovering the tomb of the “Dragon Emperor” (a truly evil dude under a curse). The O’Connells are drawn to Shanghai where they meet up with their belligerent son, the curse is lifted and the movie progresses pretty much as you’d expect from there…
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The movie is stuffed full of big fight scenes (with both stunt men and CGI) that are as good as any summer movie-goer could wish for. The costumes and sets are pretty darn good but some of the CGI effects are simply too obvious. The filmmakers did a fine job of staying within period: still, I found it particularly disturbing when characters dropped in anachronistic bits for the sake of humor. That being said, I doubt that most of the movie’s target audience would even notice it was being done. I also doubt that they care that the humor is about on a “Junior High School” level.
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Maybe it’s just me but I didn’t find Brendan fraser quite as charming this time out as I did the last time. Maria Bello is a suitable replacement for Rachel Wise as Evelyn. (She also gets the single slyest line in the whole movie--for those who know the franchise at least.) Luke Ford is a suitably hunky as Alex but I found his wandering accent distracting. (If an actor is going to do an accent he should be consistent!) John Hannah is back as Evelyn’s ne’er do well brother Jonathan (who always seems to be the catalyst for Mummy raising) and a host of Chinese actors get featured parts--particularly Jet Li as the titular Dragon Emperor.
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Really, there’s nothing “new” in this installment but “Mummy” fans will probably enjoy this outing--even if it won’t do anything to convert non-fans. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is a big, sprawling, park-your-brain-at-the-door fun fest. It’s a fine diversion for a hot weekend afternoon and will probably play well on DVD.
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FINAL GRADE: C+
This post features one of those “follow the logic-chain” fractals: the image I chose was Hermes. Hermes is the mythological Greek God of travelers (and, oddly enough, thieves). You can’t travel without moving and this post is all about moving! (Surely you got that from the title!!!) That being said--on with the post!
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So the move is complete and I’ve learned many valuable lessons for the NEXT one. (God willing that will be MANY years in the future.) Still, I want to make sure I don’t forget what I learned so I’m going to write them down so I don’t forget them later. If any of you happen to be moving some day you might find them worthwhile.
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HAVING A PLAN IS A WONDERFUL IDEA--SO LONG AS YOU FOLLOW IT. Yes, you CAN over-plan but the best-laid plan isn’t worth the time it takes to formulate if you don’t follow it. That being said--realize that plans are made to come a-cropper so be prepared.
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IT IS BETTER TO HAVE TOO MANY BOXES THAN TOO FEW. Unless you’re an absolute minimalist you have more stuff than you can believe! (I actually found two boxes from my previous move that hadn’t been opened that I schlepped out here.) Packing a box FULL is harder than you expect--and those boxes get heavy VERY FAST. You don’t want to have stuff left over because moving boxes scrounging boxes is hard and it is not always possible to re-use boxes. Here’s a related rule: IF YOU HAVEN’T OPENED THE BOX SINCE YOUR LAST MOVE YOU PROBABLY DON’T NEED THE CONTENTS.
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Here is yet another related rule: THINK LONG AND HRRD BEFORE PUTTING STUFF IN STORAGE. Yes, there are exceptions but you probably don’t need what you’re keeping. Get rid of your extra “stuff” and save yourself some serious money and capital.
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ANYTHING YOU PLAN TO “DONATE” SHOULD BE GIVEN AWAY BEOFRE YOU START PACKING. Robyn and I had a number of perfectly good items someone could have gotten good use out of but as the final date approached we found we didn’t have time to make it to a donation center--and we didn’t have the boxes to carry things to the new place. (Plus there’s the issue of having to find a new donation center--and store the unwanted items until you locate one. NOT a pleasant possibility.
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HIRE PROFESSIONAL MOVERS. Believe me--self-moving is a long and time-consuming process and you’ll get might sore and cranky. (Frankly, you’ll get might sore and cranky packing and unpacking: you don’t need the extra hassle!) Professional movers have the equipment and they can get you in and out in less than half the time. It is well worth it.
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IF YOU DO HIRE PROFESSIONAL MOVERS--LET THEM DO THE WORK! The odds are pretty good that professional movers know what they’re doing so I doesn’t help to tell them how to do their job (Robyn!) Furthermore--since the truck is already there--let THEM load, transport and unload the items! (You paid them--so let them do their job!!!)
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And that is a perfect segway to our next point… COMPACT CARS ARE NOT EFFECTIVE SUBSTITUTES FOR MOVING VANS. If you should end up transporting some of your own personal chattels (and you probably will) it’s so much more trouble than it’s worth to try and carry your stuff in a small car. Yes, renting a minivan or SUV adds more expense but it’s probably worth it in the long run.
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WHEREVER POSSIBLE, AVOID MOVING IN EXTREME WEATHER CONDITIONS. The day we moved didn’t break any records for heat but the humidity was near-record levels. Moving in the middle of summer or the dead of winter adds one more stress you really DON’T need. Of course--if the move can’t be avoided than you may as well give in and accept the inevitable. Drink lots of water if you’re moving in the summer months since you WILL be sweating. Alas, I have no “cold weather” moving advice: I’ve never done that.
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CALLING CENTERS AREN’T WORTH THE TROUBLE. Over the past month I’ve spent WAY too much time dialing “800” Numbers (and the other “free” area codes). Most of the time I’ve spoken with very nice people--who either didn’t know what they were doing, had no clue about my area or simply didn’t know how to resolve my problem. And it never helps that EVERY call center I phone seemed to be chronically understaffed! Dish Network is evil: Time Warner and Wells Fargo are completely incompetent. Still, since you aren’t likely to be able to deal with a local company you may as well bow to the inevitable and hope you don’t pull too much hair out!
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EQUAL SQURE FOOTAGE DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL HAVE THE SAME SPACE. Our new place has slight more square footage than our last home--but the way things are arranged have made space planning an “interesting” proposition. It really is enough to make you crazy so be prepared for some serious shocks--unless you are moving to substantially larger quarters.
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Here’s a related rule: NEVER MOVE TO SMALLER QUARTERS UNLESS YOU’RE PLANNING TO DO DUMP A LOT OF YOUR STUFF. You’d think it would be obvious and self-evident but a lot of people think they can make it work somehow. You can’t. Nothing more need be said.
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BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY TELL YOU EXACTO KNIVES ARE SHARP! Those little buggers will cut you if they get a chance. My hands are proof of that--so be careful.
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PACE YOURSELF. All you really need is a place to eat (cook) sleep, and poop. Having a place to bathe is a nice plus but hardly necessary. You’re going to work up a sweat anyway (unless you’ve hired professional movers) so accept that. There are tons of projects that need doing--but said projects aren’t going anywhere. There’s no need to wear yourself out trying to get everything done at once.
- TELEMARKETERS WILL CATCH UP TO YOU WITH SURPRISING SPEED. We got our new phone number on Saturday and by Monday we were already getting calls from the telemarketers. I thought we have a few weeks of relative freedom but I was wrong. I've already added my number to the National "Do Not Call" Registry but that hasn't slowed down the calls. *sigh*-
And last, but certainly not least… THIS TOO SHALL PASS. The task may seem never-ending while your mired in boxes, packing material and sweat but eventually you’ll get settled in and the projects will get done. You’ll discover your new home has charms and challenges you never expected but everything will work out in the end. Roll with it and all will be well.
We’re going to do something different with this post. You’ll get your fractal “cookie” right at the top--just like always--but I’m not going to explain why I picked this image until the end of the review. In case you can’t figure out the subject from the title it’s Star Wars: the Clone War.
