Maybe The "Lightning Thief" Should Have Stolen A Little Originality Too...

A review of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief really should feature an image with something related to lightning--or maybe something to dow tih Olympus.  For reasons not well known to me I chose the former path and ended up selecting Lightning Spiral as today's visual "cookie." 
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Pery Jackson and the Olympians is a wildly successful series of children's books that owes a great deal to J.K. Rowling.   One can't help but see the similary between Percy and Harry Potter--at least in the movies.  (I haven't read the series so I can't tell you if the same parallels exist in the books but I suspect they do: still, not having read the books it wouldn't be fair to comment further so I'll keep my comments to what I saw on screen.)  Like Harry Potter before him Percy Jackson doesn't fit in (although Percy at least has ONE living parent.)    Percy learns that he is "special" (in this case the son of Poseidon) and is thrust into danger because someone has stolen Zeus' lightning bolt: if said bolt is not returned by the Summer Solstice there will be war among the Gods and mankind will suffer for it.  What follows is a textbook "quest" and final reconciliation.
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Percy Jackson commits three unforgiveable crimes: zero originality, a complete lack of surprise and some stunning lapses in logic.  True, there are only so many plots a writer can use but the script pretty well telegraphs everything.  You can see the slightest twist coming from a mile away.  You even do this with the jokes: you know there's going to be a "horse's ass" joke coming as soon as one of the characters is revealed to be a Centaur.  Nowhere in the movie does anything take a turn that anyone with half a brain wouldn't expect.  (The identity of the Thief isn't revealed but you can't help but know who it is almost as soon as he shows up on screen.: worse, his reasons for stealing the lightning are the tritest of trite.)  Worse the lapses in internal logic nearly sink the story for anyone over the age of eight.  (Who knows?  Maybe the books do a better job of answering my many, many questions but, alas, I can only report what I saw on screen.)
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The Actors aren't given much to work with (reference the previous paragraph) but they give it their all and help rescue the movie from being complete drek.  Every British Character Actor living in the United States gets tapped for a part as well as hotties Uma Therman (in an all-too-brief scene as Medusa) and Rosario Dawson (playing Persoephone as a hottie who ends ups helping our hero.)  The three young leads are earnest and do as good a job as the material will allow.  We've seen the special effects before but they are adequate to the test and I did rather like the way the worked the mythological elements inot the "real" world.
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As a "popcorn movie" Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief worke well enough: the kids will enjoy the action and there is enough material to entertain adults.  The violence is cartoonish and the blood is kept to a minimum so it should be safe for the whole family (except for the most delicate of souls).  Your world won't be diminished if you miss this movie but it's OK if you have nothing better to do.
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FINAL GRADE: C  

Top Ten Who Need To "Shut Up And Step Off" In 2010

A "random" post demands a "random" image--so I pretty much chose Door Knocker at random.   I suppose you could make a case for it being an invitation for these people to "take the door" but that connection is tenuous at best That being said--on with today's rant!
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I hate January.  It is the dumping ground for bad movies, TV and always features the return of The Bachelor.  There simply isn't anything GOOD to comment on so I have to find something--anything to fill up my blog.  That's when I hit on the "top 10" list of folks in the news I'd like to see just go away.  No doubt many of you will disagree with my list so please feel free to write one in your own blog.  (If you don't have a blog feel free to creat one--it's easy.)  Now--here's the list for 2010
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10: CARRIE PREJEAN
2009 saw the fall and rise and fall again of Miss California.  She played the victim after her stance against same-sex marriage allegedly cost her the Miss USA crown and got a certain fame with conservative Christian community.  Too bad she lied about the semi-nude pictures and multiple sex tapes.  She said God "told" her to speak out against gay marriage: too bad S/he didn't see fit to tell the dear girl to keep her clothes on.  Carrie Prejean has dropped out of sight (for the time being) and maybe she'll stay gone.  Lets hope so for all our sakes...
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09; PEREZ HILTON
Perez Hilton lives to create drama.  If this self-styled "celebrity blogger" had an ounce of integrity he'd keep himself OUT of the story.  He does more damage to the cause of celebrity journalism AND gay rights than he can ever benefit.  Sooner or later Perez will offend the wrong person and end up seriously hurt--or worse.  Leave while you can guy.
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08: ANYONE CONNECTED WITH THE "LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW" WARS
It's been a week and I'm already bored.  NBC shot itself in the foot by giving Conan O'Brien The Tonight Show and create a daily 10:00 PM talker for Jay Leno.  Neither show delivered the ratings and the local affiliates started screaming and the network made a bad situation worse by trying to juggle the situation--making a bad situation worse.  With so much more serious stuff to talk about--why is the media devloting so much time to the story?  Leno and O'Brien are going to get paid no matter what and both these guys are going to be fine.  It's time everyone connected to this mess step off so we can blame the real problem--Jeff Zucker.
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07: ANYONE CONNECTED WITH THE TIGER WOODS SCANDAL
OK, the scandal was fun for a while.  There's a certain sens of schadenfreude watching someone who oh-so-carefully built a squeaky-clean image implode.  Still, after a while the whole thing starts being sad and no fun at all.  Take away the guy's endorsements and leave he, his family and his "hoochie" collection alone!
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06: ANYONE EVEN TANGENTIALLY CONNECTED TO MICHAEL JACKSON
He's dead.  Deal with it.  True, he made some great music "back in the day" but his days of being anything other than a Circus Sideshow are long past.  I just saw a segment of the death of a couple of "Neverland Ranch Giraffes" and whether or not they had been "murdered."  Is there REALLY that litle news left that we need to hear about this?  It's time to move on to another scandal.
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05: PAT ROBERTSON
Robertson has a singular gift for opening his mouth and inserting his foot up to the knee.  His comments on the Haiti earthquake were insensitive and not-particularly Christian.  His "apology" half-assed at best: basically he tried to explain what he said away without taking any responsibility for the comment.  Why is this nut job still getting press?
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04 TV JOURNALISTS
Cable television may be the death of news: forget the commentators (for now at least)--lets just talk about the endless coverage of news events.  24-7 broadcasting has created endless time to fill with nothing--especially during breaking news events.  Most news events have a few minutes worth of facts that need to be delivered then it is time to move along.  Still, the TV "Talking Heads" and the producers behind them feel the need to keep them on the air--which means a lot of needless chatter.  And then we have the endless follow-up where anyone even remotely connected to the story gets their three minutes in the spotlight.  (Re: the Michael Jackson commentary earlier in this post.)  Last but not least there's the concerted effort to murder the English language: I love my girl Micaela Pererra of the KTLA Morning News--but is she says "efforting" one more time I may have a meltdown. 
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03: GLENN BECK
I've been over Glenn Beck since he went off on Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg in which he blamed them for something that wasn't their fault.  When the ladies confronted him on The View with the facts he refused to apologize or back down saying "I'm a Commentator not a Jornalist" (as if somehow that absolved him from honesty and common decency).  Personally, I don't think he believes half of what he says--but he's playing to his audience.  That's just dangerous.
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02: SARAH PALIN
Come on--you had to know this was coming: you knew I'd have to get my digs into my "favorite" Republican...  Sarah Palin is so good at being outraged: she can sieze on the smallest misspoken word or take an idea out of context and run with it.  Sadly, Alaska's former Governor also has a VERY THIN skin.  Yes, the joke David Letterman made at the expens of her daughter Bristol was in poor taste (and not all that funny) but she couldn't let it go.  She also demanded the firing of White House Chief of Staff Rom Emmanuel after he called certain Democrats "retards" (in a closed-door meeting).  Then she went after the writers of Family Guy when they created a painfully unfunny skit poking fun at her.  Too bad she gave Rush Limbaugh a pass when he used the same word--because he was being "satyrical."  The lady clearly has a problem with the truth.  (Remember her cross-country "bus tour" in which she and her family took private jets between cities--only to board the bus for a photo op when she arrived?)  Time to step off sweetheart.  Too bad thanks to her new position with Fox New that it won't be happening any time soon...
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And the Number One Group who should shut up and step off in 2010 is...
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01: IDIOT BLOGGERS
The worst thing about the "blogosphere" is that it gives idiots a platform to spill their idiocy to a much wider audience than ever before.  They spend endless hours speculating on virtually everything and pouncing on the most minute detail and blowing it all out of proportion.  Case in point--the hubub that came up when certain Right Wingers decided that Avatar was anti-American and that James Cameron was somehow against our troops.  I saw the movie and I can see where one might take away that the Director was anti-Corporate and pro-Environment but nowhere did I come up with an anti-American or Military slant.  This is proof that anyone who looks for dirt will find it--even in content with the purest of intent.  Time for bloggers to take a step back and thing long and hard  and THINK BEFORE THEY TYPE!!!  Oh wait--that would include me--wouldn't it?
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'nuff said.

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One additonal brief note: my blog celebrated its third birthday on February 14.  Thanks to all my loyal readers and those who took the time to drop comments.  Take care and be well one and all.