Silver Surfer Really "Rises" in latest "Fantastic Four" flick

Today’s post begins with a fractal called Silver Swirl. I chose it because I will be reviewing Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and I couldn’t find a better image.
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I was feeling some trepidation when I decided to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. The first installment of the series made over 300 Million dollars worldwide even though it was, in my humble opinion at least, abysmal. The plot was badly contrived and the acting spotty. There was no chemistry between Reed Richards and Sue Storm while Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm managed to steal every scene they were in. About the only positive you could give the movie was the first-rate effects. In a rare happenstance the sequel was about a thousand times better than the original.
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Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer suffers from many of the same problems that plagued the first movie. Ioan Gruffudd is still too young to play Mr. Fantastic convincingly and he fails to show an ounce of charisma throughout most of the movie. Jessica Alba continues to be little more than a great looking hanger for the spandex costume she wears. Much as I would like to believe otherwise, I am never convinced these two would hook up if they really excisted. Michael Chiklis was born to play Ben Grimm and handsome muscle-boy Chris Evens is suitably self-involved as party boy Johnny Storm. (His character is about as shallow as a kiddie pool and I never quite buy his as the secretly lonely loser the movie says he is inside.) Julian MacMahon gets resurrected (literally) from the dead to play Victor vcn Doom and then is given short shrift as the movie’s villain. New character the Silver Surfer is embodied by Doug Jones and voiced by Laurence Fishburn. The whole creation is a CGI wonder and he avoids the worst of the "Stan Lee" dialog. He is the single best reason to see the movie.
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The story begins with a mysterious silver meteor appearing in various locations on Earth and causing havoc. Meanwhile in New York City Reed Richards is trying for the fourth time to wed fiance Sue Storm (although what happened to stop weddings one, two and three are never explained) when Reed is approached by General Hager (Andre Braugher). He and Reed have had their disagreements in the past in the past but the General still needs his help. Reed refuses (citing his upcoming wedding) but he ends up working on a device to locate the anomaly plaguing the planet. When the anomaly (Silver Surfer) disrupts Reed and Sue’s wedding (in classic comic book style). Thus the group finally agrees to help.
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The FF have their first “real” encounter with the Silver Surfer at the “London Eye” (a gigantic Ferris Wheel built in honor of the Millenium) and Johnny finds he switches powers with the rest of the group every time he touches them. (This lends some much-needed hilarity to the movie and ultimate ends up being the ultimate solution to the problem.) After the attempt to capture the Surfer fails General Hagen brings in Victor von Doom to help (although why he chooses such a course of action remains unexplained) and the Silver Surfer is captured. Von Doom shows his true colors and steals the Surfer’s board--and claiming all the vast powers for himself--leaving the FF to free the Silver Surfer, defeat the bad guy and save the Earth.
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Although this movie has a lot of shortcomings, fans of super-sized battles on screen won’t be disappointed. I don’t think any but the most die-hard fans of the Fantastic Four will be disappointed either: this movie, more than just about any other I’ve seen tries hard to show what it would be like to be a super hero in the “real” world--one of its greatest charms. It was good to see the costumers have toned-down Mr. Fantastic's "white sidewalls"--which looked so completely fake and awful in the first installment. I could have done without the lame product placement: the one for Dodge is truly cringe-worthy. (The whole scene with the Fantasti-Car is truly pointless but fun to watch.) Still, there are enough “fun” bits to allow you to park your brain at the door and have a good popcorn-munching time.
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FINAL GRADE B-

Adventures in 9-1-1

This post begins with a fractal called In Another Garden 22. The “22” comes from the fact that this image was created as part of a larger series. I chose it because of the black-and-white color scheme and because of what I saw take place in another home.
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Hey look outside the window
There’s a woman being grabbed/They’ve dragged her to the bushes/And now she’s being stabbed/Maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain/
But Monopoly is so much fun I’d hate to spoil the game…
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These are the first lines to a song from the late 60s (I think) called Outside A Small Circle of Friends. It tells the true story of a woman in New York City who was attacked and murdered in full view of at least 20 people--none of whom did anything. These lyrics came to mind after an incident that happened last night (June 19). Here’s what went down . . .
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The sun was setting and we had opened our windows to catch a cooling evening breeze. As is our wont, Robyn and I had settled down in front of the television to match wits against the contestants on Jeopardy. Imagine our surprise when we heard a woman screaming for help outside. We live in a fairly “nice” part of Santa Ana (actually, a lot of the city is a pretty decent place to live) so this was about the last thing we expected to hear. Being concerned, Robyn and I popped out to see what was happening: several neighbors joined us on the sidewalk and we found ourselves witness to a domestic drama.
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I don’t know all the details of what went down but here is what I saw. A somewhat older woman (she looked like she was in her 40s) had gotten into an argument with her boyfriend (or so we heard her tell the police later) and he’d choked her. That’s when she started screaming: by the time the neighbors got outside he was holding her in his home and refusing to let her leave. One of the guys tried to convince him to let the woman go but he wouldn’t while the rest of stood around dithering. THEN we heard disturbing noises coming from inside the residence. We heard bangings and shaking so everyone was rather concerned. That’s when I dialed 9-1-1-. (Another neighbor lady had called Santa Ana PD directly and promptly been put on hold.)
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After dialing 9-1-1 (hence the title of this blog) I had to wait six rings before anyone picked up. The lady on the other end seemed a bit brusque to me: I told her I wanted to report a domestic violence incident (and she asked if it was in my home). I told her no but that the lady across the way was screaming for help and that we were hearing alarming noises that sounded like physical violence. I got the feeling she really didn’t want to dispatch a cruiser to the scene. After several minutes she finally agreed to send police.
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So we all stood outside waiting
And waiting
And waiting . . .
It took the police nearly half an hour to show up.
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Meanwhile things across the way had calmed down somewhat. The disturbing noises stopped and the woman began moving her belongings out. All of us neighbors stood around outside waiting and watching unsure of what we could or should do. Two Police Officers finally showed up and gave the man a stern talking-to but the woman ended up bringing her stuff back inside.
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Now I find myself left with a lot of questions. I wonder when (not if) this is going to happen again. I wonder if I did the right thing getting involved or if there’s something more I could have/should have done. Did I let myself in for more trouble down the line? Why did the woman in trouble feel the need to go back to the man who choked her? (I’m guessing she feels like her boyfriend didn’t really “mean” to hurt her or maybe she feels like she doesn’t have anywhere else to go.) I also wonder if the Santa Ana PD is overwhelmed or if they just don’t care. For all that, maybe the cops have seen too many of these situations before and they knew how it was destined to turn out. I feel bad for everyone involved and I wish there was something more I could do beside write this blog--but frankly I’m at a loss.

"Surf's Up" Rides an Excellent Wave

This post begins with a fractal called Waves and Whirlpools. It seems singularly appropriate since considering the movie I’ll be reviewing.
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Penguins are clever creatures. They march, they sing and dance, and in Sur's Up, the latest (or is it first) feature from Sony Pictures Animation, they surf--and pretty darn well too!
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Plot-wise, Surf’s Up doesn’t carve out any new territory. Cody Maverick (voiced by Shia LeBoeuf in his 2948th movie this year) is languishing in the backwater burgh (literally!) of Shiverpool Antartica with nothing going for him but his passion for surfing. He meets talent scout Mikey Abramowitz (voiced by hysterical fussbudget Mario Cantone) and travels to Pengu Island with perennial outsider Chicken Joe (voiced by John Heder in full “stoner” mode) who befriends Cody to enter the “Big Z Memorial Classic“. Once on Pengu Island he meets bad boy surfer Tank Evans (Dedrich Bader), love interest Lani the Lifeguard (Zooey Deschanel in her 2152nd movie this year), surf promoter Reggie Belafonte (James Woods) and The Geek (perfectly-cast Jeff Bridges) a former surfer with a secret. The Geek takes Cody under his wing (or is is his flipper) to teach him valueable lessons in surfing and in life. The rest of the plot unfolds by the numbers and anyone who has watched a sports-themed movie can guess the outcome.
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Still, Surf’s Up is more about style than substance. It’s “shot” like a documentary film complete with “old” footage off camera voices and a few shots. Real life surfers Kelly Slater and Rob Machado as well as commentator Sal Masekela help add verisimilitude to the concept. Computer animation continues to evolve at an amazing rate and the look of this movie is nothing short of stunning. The waves look so real you could almost grab a board and surf. The songs on the soundtrack serve to help to movie along.
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The movie has received enthusiastic reviews but it’s not getting the kind of audiences it deserves. There are just too many “bigger“ movies out there (and most of them aren't worth seeing.) I think Surf’s Up deserves to be seen on the big screen but I think it will survive nicely on DVD, Kids will have no trouble following the story and parents will enjoy it as well. Bring the whole family and have a good time.
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FINAL GRADE: A-

"Knocked Up" Gives Birth to Originality

Today’s post begins with a fractal image called Snailiens. It has absolutely no relevance to the topic at hand--a review of Knocked Up. I picked it because it was fun, different and I couldn’t find an image with more relevance.
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Knocked Up, the latest effort from Judd Apatow (of "40 Year Old Virgin" fame) and crew (he used many of the same actors and crew for this movie) may well have the best-reviewed comedy of the summer. In and of itself, this tends to make me worry: I finally I like my movies more “accessible” than what the critics prefer. Still, I laughed to hard at The 40 Year Old Virgin that I just had to go see this one.
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The story is basically this: Entertainment Reporter Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl of Gray’s Anatomy) is out celebrating her promotion at the E! Channel when she hooks up with uber-Slacker Ben Stone (Seth Rogen who gained prominence in The 40 Year Old Virgin) and finds she’s pregnant. Complications involving Alison’s older sister Dianne (Leslie Mann) her husband Pete (Paul Rudd) and Ben’s loser buddies (Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, and Martin Starr--all roughly playing themselves). Ryan Seacrest has a brief cameo as himself that is so hilarious it's almost worth the price of admission on its own and seveal stars show up as themselves (James Franco of the "Spiderman" franchise and Steve Carroll are especially good.) You’ll have to see the movie since I don’t want to give away too much here.
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Seth Rogen (who helped write the movie and serves as Executive Producer) makes his character arc completely believable and Katherine Katherine Heigl mines comedic gold as a classic Type A Over-achiever. Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd are hilarious as Desperate Yuppies and I must confess I’ve had conversations all-too-similar to those held by Ben and his loser friends. I doubt anyone will be nominated for an Academy Award for their performances but the whole cast was perfect for the movie. A lot of the dialog was improvised on-set (including the scene with the children--Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann‘s daughters) so that adds another level of interest. Judd Apatow’s direction never gets in the way of the movie and the music selected is pretty awesome as well.
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Knocked Up is Rated “R” (and deservedly so). The language and a lot of the humor is frankly raw (and will surely offend those with delicate sensibilities) and there is nudity. (Sadly, none of that nudity involves Katherine Heigl but it does Seth Rogen--which I so didn’t need to see!) Some of the jokes may be a bit too inside for those not obsessed with movies (I’m fairly “cinema literate” but a couple of the jokes went right over my head.) but that shouldn’t effect the average viewer’s enjoyment. Some of the jokes are cringe-inducing (all the more because they come from a place of basic truth) but that only adds to the movie’s charm. Fans of The 40 Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers should make every effort to see this movie--NOW.
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FINAL GRADE A+

Is it a sign of the Apocolypse? Paris Hilton is on my Blog! That's Hot

This post begins with a fractal called Lacy Star. I picked it because I’ll be talking about Paris Hilton. Like her the image is larger than life while being super-skinny, slightly off-kilter and decidely out-of-balance, pink and frothy without a lot of substance. To me, that’s Paris in a nutshell. Ah well--on with the trashing!
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So Paris Hilton managed to dodge the bullet (at least for a while) and snakes out of her 45 day jail sentence. She ended up there in the first place for violating her parole after being arrested for a DUI. Claiming her Publicist told her should drive for work-related incidences (she works???) and saying she “never reads” her mail didn’t go over to well with the general population OR the Judge in her case. Paris got the maximum sentence under the law and the Judge instructed she not be given “alternate sentencing” or early release. He further ordered "no work furlough, no early release and no electronic monitoring." Paris was given the option of "pay jail" for a better billet but she turned that down. At first she planned to fight the ruling but wiser heads prevailed and Paris sneaked into jail two days early. The story should have ended there but this being Paris Hilton there were still more to come.
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After serving only three days (and being credited for five) of her 45 day stretch of “hard time” Paris is released at 6:00 AM Thursday June 7. A spokesman for the L,A. County Sheriff’s Department says Paris was being released for “medical reasons” (which were unspecified because of privacy laws.) Needless to say a lot of people are none-too-pleased with this turn of events. The City Attorney filed a complain so now Hilton's representatives will be in court today to determine if she should be sent back to jail. Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca may end up being charged with Contempt of Court for his decision to let her go.
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Rumor has it that Paris’ “medical condition” was that she was near the edge of a “Nervous Breakdown” in jail. Aw poor baby! Going to jail--now that’s NOT hot! The icky prison food. Low thread-count cotton sheets. The fact that Giani Versace doesn’t design prison jumpsuits (in orange or any color for that matter)! Not being able to go out and party at the hot clubs with her “A” List friends. Quelle horror!” How can the poor girl stand it! Now that’s enough to drive any heiress to get repeated visits from her expensive Beverly Hills Psychiatrist. Paris--I’m sure every murderer, rapist and drug dealer feels your pain right now sweetheart.
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OK, now that I’ve got my Paris-bashing out of the way (and boy was it FUN!) I have to admit that I’m a bit conflicted about this issue. I don’t like Paris Hilton: she’s pretty enough but she’s none too bright (even though she did manage to parlay being pretty and famous into a decent career) and honestly her celebrity sends an awful message to our young girls. Her defense was beyond ludicrous (not to mention frankly scary) and I think that, more than anything, is what got her in such deep trouble. That being said, we the Public made her a celebrity. The Average “Joe” or “Jane” in the same situation wouldn’t have gotten nearly the same punishment: the average non-violent first offender would get a couple of hours in jail (if that) and then released.
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One also needs to consider the Sherriff’s Department’s position on the matter: Paris Hilton was a huge hassle for them: the hordes of Paparazzi and “legitimate” News Media made working around the Linwood jail difficult if not impossible. The inconvenience caused both staff and other inmates to resent Paris Hilton so I’m sure the Sherriff’s Department is happy to see the back of her. Add to this the fact that the Los Angeles County Jail system is hugely overedcrowded (one source claims it is desinged for 12,000 inmates but holds 25,000) so early release is common (but that's a Blog for another time). The Sherriff’s Department is caught squarely in the middle: I feel for them.
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As for Paris Hilton, this is how it shakes out for me. Celebrity is a double-edged sword: with all the swag and privileges comes an equal amount of scrutiny. “S,O,P.” aside, the law is the law and the Judge is completely within his right to impose the maximum sentence should he feel it is necessary (and IMHO, in this case it is). In the end it won’t matter whether Paris Hilton goes back to jail or not: what matters is whether she learns her lesson--and we won’t know that for a long time--if she gets in trouble or manages to clean up her act.
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For my part, I just wish Paris Hilton would go away. And take Brittney Spears and Lindsey Lohan with her . . .

Elvis Gets "All Shook Up"

Today’s post begins with a fractal image called Threads. I chose it because I will be reviewing a stitched-together musical called All Shook Up. Read on and I’m sure you’ll find it singularly appropriate.
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RECIPE: mix together equal parts As You Like It, Romeo and Juliet and Twelfth Night add a dash of Footloose, a little racial tension and 25 Elvis Presley hits from the 1950s. Shake for two hours and fifteen minutes and you have one of Broadway’s latest “Jukebox Musicals”--All Shook Up. Unlike “Reviews” (which frames songs from a single performer but doesn‘t try to mate them with a plot) a “jukebox musical takes the songs and actually tries to tell the story. Some shows (like Mama Mia featuring the music of Abba) are stunning successes. Some (like Good Vibrations which features “Beach Boys” music) are complete disasters: All Shook Up falls somewhere in the middle.
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The story gives us Chad (about an “un-Elvis” name as you can get), a roustabout who drifts into a sad little town and turns the place upside down. Natalie, a tomboy mechanic, is instantly smitten with Chad while her best friend Dennis loves her from afar. Chad, alas, only has eyes for museum curator (huh?) Miss Sandra. In parallel stories Dean, (the Mayor’s son) comes home from Military School and falls instantly and totally in love with Lorraine the daughter of bar owner Sylvia (who has it bad for Natalie’s Father Joe--who has a thing for Miss Sandra.) Oh and did I mention that Sylvia is black and that Mayor Matilda is pretty much anti-everyting? Dennis helps Natalie disguise herself as a boy to get close to Chad (who finds himself strangely attracted to newly-minted “Ed.” In the end all complications are resolved and everyone (and I do mean everyone) gets paired up by the end of the show.
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All Shook Up isn’t about the plot: the story (such as it is) merely serves to get us from one song to the next: the transitions are frankly forced and often just plain lame. Still, the songs are gems and the performances are interesting even if they are a lot more “Broadway” than “Elvis.” This is a musical for the “American Idol” generation: every song is belted out at top volume (even though tunes like “Can’t Help Falling In Love” and “Love Me Tender” aren’t well served by this approach. It’s a testament to the music that the songs survive their Broadway re-working.
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Joe Mondragona (Chad) doesn’t even come close to filling Elvis’ blue suede shoes: “he’s almost the “Anti-Elvis”. He shows some fine comic timing in Act Two and his voice is fine for Broadway. Jannie Jones (Sylvia the Bar Owner) has a spectacular “soul-sister” voice that stops the show every time she sings. Jenny Fellner plays Natalie well but is none-to-convincing Ed (but she’s not supposed to be) and has a fine voice. Dennis Moench (Dennis) is a fine comic actor and ex supermodel Susan Anton (the tallest person in the show!) shows off some amazing vocal chops and some decent dancing as Miss Sandra. (Even though she’ll never see fifty again she still looks stunning.) The sets and costumes are adequate and the five-piece band gets a pretty good “rock and roll” sound.
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All Shook Up is a fine show for women who don’t like Broadway-style musicals. Elvis fans will probably enjoy it. True, there is virtually no content but it’s a fun, ultimately-disposable experience.
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FINAL GRADE B-